Archive for November 16, 2013

MLOblast

When I spotted this title I immediately thought of Must Love Dogs and how much I enjoyed it.

So, naturally, I had to check out Must Love Otters.

This looks to be a sweet, funny romance, and yes, there will be otters!

Get to know more about the book and remember to enter the giveaway.

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Synopsis

Hollie Porter is the chairwoman of Generation Disillusioned: at twenty-five years old, she’s saddled with a job she hates, a boyfriend who’s all wrong for her, and a vexing inability to say no. She’s already near her breaking point, so when one caller too many kicks the bucket during Hollie’s 911 shift, she cashes in the Sweethearts’ Spa & Stay gift certificate from her dad and heads to Revelation Cove, British Columbia. One caveat: she’s going solo. Any sweethearts will have to be found on site.

Hollie hopes to find her beloved otters in the wilds of the Great White North, but instead she’s providing comic relief for staff and guests alike. Even Concierge Ryan, a former NHL star with bad knees and broken dreams, can’t stop her from stumbling from one (mis)adventure to another. Just when Hollie starts to think that a change of venue doesn’t mean a change in circumstances, the island works its charm and she starts to think she might have found the rejuvenation she so desperately desires. But then an uninvited guest crashes the party, forcing her to step out of the discomfort zone where she dwells and save the day … and maybe even herself in the process.

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About The Author:
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Eliza Gordon is a forgetful girl who relies on Post-It notes and cellphone alarms to get her through the day. An avid eater of cookies, she can be found with her hand in the jar when not in her cubicle. A purveyor of fictions, Eliza is confident that the life she lives in merely the imaginings of someone else’s hand, poured from a dull pencil on cafe napkins, and that she is simply an understudy, waiting for her turn to take the stage. She has excellent taste in books, shoes, and friends, and questionable sanity in the realm of love. Best leave that one alone.

In real life, she’s a husband-and-wife team of controlled chaos who writes stories to help you believe in the Happily Ever After.

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$25 Amazon Gift Card
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2 ebook copies of Must Love Otters
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Click on the rafflecopter below to enter.
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Giveaway is open to US Only. | Must be 13+ to Enter
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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!
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To see all of my giveaways click on the image below.
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maplelanemanor

Holy tail feathers Batman!

I’ve got this really fun book to show ya!

A retirement home for supernaturals.

What a funny idea.

Check out the spectacular cover art.

Read a fun excerpt.

And remember to enter the giveaway.

Maple Lane Manor cover

Title: Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals

Author: Cree Walker

Genres: Paranormal Romance

Categories: Comedy

Erotic Elements: NONE

Publisher: Naughty Nights Press

Release Date: 7/31/2013

Heat Level: Sweet

Word Count/Length: 67,000 words

Buy Links:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Kobobooks / Allromanceebooks

Goodreads / Smashwords / Indigo

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Synopsis

Maple Lane returns to the retirement home where she grew up, after ten years away, and must face the music. How can she rebuild the dilapidated building, repay a massive mortgage, and restore her residents’ faith in her with her arch-nemesis – Stacy Three Names – breathing down her neck, hungry for an artifact said to grant immortality? As Stacy sabotages Maple’s efforts, the gorgeous new handyman Derek complicates matters with his demon blood and hot attraction.

How can Maple and her residents fight Stacy, find the artifact, and save their home with the rich and powerful of the town arrayed against them?
…And can she trust a demon to help her?

Excerpt:

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As of about four and a half minutes ago, I officially quit college. I’ve decided that after attending not one but two separate colleges during my nine…okay ten years of switching majors and still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up, that I was never meant to be a serious intellectual. I was not designed to run a corporate enterprise or wow the art world with genius sculpture and paintings. I was studying to become a teacher until I realized I don’t like children. I would have made an excellent veterinarian, except I’m allergic to cats. Or, more accurately they are allergic to me. I wanted to be an engineer, but it turns out I’m also allergic to math, which also eliminated engineering and accounting. I even tried psychology, caseworker, and business major. So after trying everything that ever caught my attention, I switched to a technical college, where I discovered I had no talent for mechanics, carpentry, plumbing, heating, or cooking anything in an oven. And I literally flunked out as a dental assistant when I vomited on a patient while I was cleaning his teeth during final exams. So because of this, or rather despite all of this, I’m going into the family business.

My decision for this very sudden and life-altering change might have been prompted by the three-page, single-spaced letter I am now holding. It’s written in legal speak and since I did a very brief stint in law – after watching a marathon of Law and Order while recovering from a vicious and unprompted cat attack – I will summarize; “Your grandmother is dead, and she’s left you the house and its current occupants.”

This is the letter telling me that my Granny Nan has passed away. It was unexpected, and I’m not saying unexpected as in she was always so healthy and she never said she was sick. No, I’m saying unexpected because she was a vampire. Granny Nan was the first in our family, full born. She came with all the perks of the undead. She could turn into a bat and she never aged. She drank the blood of the living, but she never took more than necessary. She could hypnotize people with a wink of her long black lashes, and any whispered suggestions she made became the victim’s lifelong mission to fulfill. She stayed inside on sunny days and avoided anything resembling a wooden stake. On top of all of this, she was very fast and very smart and very full of life.

She raised me from six months old, as my mother had met her untimely demise in an unfortunate car accident involving a truck transporting picket fence posts. As far as anyone knew in the small town where I grew up, Granny Nan wasn’t my very young-looking, nearly two hundred year-old grandmother. She was just my mom.

I’m a second-generation vampire. Vampires aren’t made, or even bred. As far as we can tell, they just happen once in a while, and the only way they can have children is if they choose to do so with a human. Long story short, that makes me a quarter vampire. Meaning I don’t get to live forever, I can’t turn into any cool animals, and I will never be able to hypnotize people with a look or a whisper. The only thing I got from that side of the family is that I have to wear sunscreen year round and I’m mildly anemic. I don’t drink blood, but I like my steak extra rare. I have a pretty good metabolism, but unlike Granny Nan I do have to burn a few calories on the treadmill a few times a week if I want to eat cupcakes.

Having been raised in a retirement home, I am probably more aware of my own mortality than most. What I learned from my somewhat different childhood experience was that I didn’t want to die without living a full and happy life. The only problem was I seemed to be having trouble getting that life of excitement started. I was so scared to make the wrong move that I ended up not moving at all. So at twenty-seven – okay twenty-eight, I was now the newest caretaker of Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals.

I wish I could have posted the other excerpt too. It made me want to read this even more!

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About Cree Walker

 Cree Walker lives in Northern Maine with her very patient debate partner and their furry love child, mini rat terrier, Titan. When Cree isn’t plugging away at her computer she can most likely be found at the hospital where she works as an advanced psychiatric technician for both children and adults.

To date, Cree has four novel length publications with Naughty Nights Press. Paranormal werewolf romance, Whisper on a Scream, and it’s sequel, Urban Fantasy nominated book for 2012, Willing Sacrifice. She also has paranormal romantic comedy, A Winter’s Grave, book one to the Reaper series and her most recent publication, Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals. So far, Maple Lane Manor has been a finalist in the 2013 Up Authors Fiction Challenge and all have received the coveted 5 star review rating from the Paranormal Romance Guild.

 

Contact Links:

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Email ~ Blog/Website

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Signed print copy of Maple Lane Manor,

Home for Retired Supernaturals

Click on the rafflecopter below to enter

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To see all of my giveaways click on the image below.

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Freakin Fridays!

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Freakin Fridays is my own little meme. I’ll be posting about books, movies, and all things scary.

Feel free to join in and do your own Freakin Fridays posts!

Tune in every Friday. Get your scare on!

Let’s have some fun!

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I’ve been remiss lately and missed several of my Freakin Fridays posts.

I’m making up for that with two horror reviews.

Edward Lorn’s Cruelty is a serial novel written in ten episodes, releasing a new one each month.

One thing I always look for in a book is the cover art. It has to ‘speak to me.’

Edward Lorn has some spectacular covers.

The covers for Cruelty were created by Elderlemon Designs.

 They do fantastic work.

Here’s their website addy: http://www.elderlemondesign.com/

Now, on to Cruelty.

I hope you’re ready for this!

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Cruelty: Episode 1

Cruelty (Episode #1)

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My Review

William  wishes she’d point the gun another way. The strung out hooker wouldn’t get any money out of him if he was dead. The way she keeps screaming at him, it’s a wonder he can’t hear her, even though he’s deaf.

Too bad his car broke down. Now here they are. Walking down the road in the dead of night. Even if someone did come along, it’s doubtful they’d stop and offer them a ride. Especially with her waving that gun around.

Jennifer finally realizes she’s been screaming at a deaf guy and she bends over laughing. Then, she’s not. She’s gone.

Now, imagine yourself driving down the road. You’re distracted, it’s dark outside, and you glance away from the road for just a second.

Wham, you’ve hit something. Do you get out and walk over to see what it is? No way. It’s dark out there. But what if it’s a person. They could be still alive, even though it’s not likely. You plowed into it without touching your brakes.So, you open the door and go see. Oh jesus, it’s a woman, or what’s left of one.

Here’s where the story goes to the dark side. If you haven’t read any of Edward Lorn’s stories, I’ll warn you, they are gritty and in your face. Every character flaw is brought forth, bared to you in dramatic fashion. You don’t have to like them, but you will suffer with them.

The author is really good at getting you focused, really into a scene, and then. like a punch to the gut, he stops you in your tracks.

There it is. The what the…? moment when you wonder what you’ve got yourself into. Keep on reading. The real horror is waiting just around the corner.

A word about Cruelty. Yes it’s a 10 part serial novel, with a new episode releasing each month. Think about it like this. Do you have a series you love? Do you wait anxiously for the next book even though it could be months or even over a year before it’s released? With Cruelty, you know you’ll be getting a new episode in a month. Not such a long wait. Sure the ending leaves you hanging by your finger tips, but it’s well worth it. A few broken nails and bloody fingers is nothing.

5 Stars

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Cruelty: Episode Two

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My Review

So here is Episode Two.

I thought I was prepared, but right from the get go. the author made me cringe. His description of Turtle, the druggie in withdrawal, made my face screw up in disgust. You know it’s good writing when you react physically to a scene.

But let’s push on.

William is still alive and kicking. I’d say that’s a miracle since the 600 lb doll thing likes to play with people. Like when a kid pulls the legs off a daddy-long-legs spider, it bends and twists and rends the bodies. It likes it best when they’re still alive. When it can hear them scream.

As he did in the first episode, Edward Lorn wields a bloody pen. By the time I got to the end, I was thinking, no more. Once the doll thing arrives on the scene again, the rest of the story is a runaway train. And the ending is so sudden I almost got whiplash.

For me, it’s a good thing  I have a couple of weeks until the next episode releases. Just how much can I take. This brief pause will give me time to recuperate. Then I’ll be saying, “Feed me Seymour.”

5 Stars

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And now for a brief word from the author.

Ten Acts of Cruelty

I started writing Cruelty with one thing in mind. I wanted to unsettle people. Not so much scare, but unnerve. Dolls disturb the hell out of me, so I added one into the mix. Then I made it 600 pounds, sentient, unstoppable, and sadistic. That’s a good Cruelty.

The novel has been split up into ten parts. Nine parts ranging between thirteen- to seventeen-thousand words, with a novella-length finale, which will come in around 40,000 words. Right now, the only way to get the book is to wait for each monthly installment. As of this time, I don’t plan on releasing an omnibus in electronic form, only in print. But that won’t be out until next Halloween, two months after the series concludes.

Cruelty is meant for fans of slasher films and television programs with continuing storylines (e.g. Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, and so on). This isn’t a sitcom. If you miss one episode you will find yourself in confusing territory.

You can buy your copy of Cruelty: Episode One and Two on Amazon.com, as well as Amazon’s international sites. If you own an ereader with a Kobo reading app, you can download the first episode for free at Kobo.com.

Thanks for having me, and I hope you enjoy Cruelty.

E.

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About  Edward Lorn and where to stalk him.
Image of Edward Lorn

Edward Lorn is an American horror author presently residing in the southeast United States. He enjoys storytelling, reading, and writing biographies in the third person. Once upon a time, during a session of show and tell, a seven-year-old Edward Lorn shared with his class that his baby brother had died over the weekend. His classmates, the teacher included, wept while he recounted the painful tragedy of having lost a sibling. Edward went home that day and found an irate mother waiting for him. Edward’s teacher had called to express her condolences. This was unfortunate, as Edward had never had a baby brother. With advice given to her by a frustrated teacher, Edward’s mother made him start writing all of his lies down. The rest, as they say, is history. Edward Lorn and his wife are raising two children, along with a handful of outside cats and a beagle named Dot. He remains a liar to this day. The only difference is, now he’s a useful one.

For more about Edward Lorn and his books:

Website / Twitter / Goodreads / Amazon

Edward’s page on RAP: http://redadeptpublishing.com/edward-lorn/

Edward’s blog: http://edwardlorn.wordpress.com/

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More books I’ve read by Edward Lorn

Life After Dane 1400x2100

Go HERE for my review.

And more books.

  !NAME 2240 For Amazon and Smashwords

Go HERE for my reviews.

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew.

Hope to see ya again next week for more Freakin Fridays!