There is a boutique hiding out between the
fractured, narrow storefronts lining New Gotham’s foggy docks. The shingles are
ribbed and black. Washed, peeling paint and displays offering views into wicked
leather and lace studded glam. The mannequins are ghoulish beauties stitched
together from whatever was left from the last fool to cross one of the sinister
witches.
Welcome
to Sinister Stitches
“…apparel
for a wicked fairy tale.”
A spicy trinity of black magic sisters
breathe star-dusted dreams to life with their gothic apparel boutique. They are
schooled in the old ways of “fabric-bending” by the Needlewitches of old. With
this knowledge, they’ve created an entire line of clothing that all share the
same basic design element: one-size fits all. Each garment will magically
tailor itself to its wearer once worn. Last time the Witches-Who-Stitch, hosted
a literary catwalk, heroines were called from all walks of life and genres to
challenge their seamstress skills. This time, their men have joined the
fun—apparently, they’ve been sent to the boutique. (Whether they like it, or
not.)
The witches were NOT expecting men. Their
expertise is usually limited to DEMANDING their husbands NOT wear that in public, and, of course, the
fashioning of fantastic clothing for all of literature’s heroines. (New
Gotham’s men usually get their goods from Rumpel’s Twisted Threads, BUT that’s
beyond the point, the girls put a quill to their interview, changed some bits,
and rose to the occasion.)
To enjoy the hilarity, please check out some
of the questionnaire Marie Hall’s
Luc from
the Night series
was
threatened asked to fill out after he swaggered into Sinister Stitches.
Naked.
THE
WITCHES WHO STITCH QUESTIONNAIRE
Please provide the witches with your name: Luc
Please provide the witches with the following:
Hair Color: Blond
Hair Length: [ ] Short and Sharp, [X] Shaggy and Sexy, [ ] Lush and Long
Eye Color: Glittering, deep purple
Skin Tone: [ ] Ghoulish,
[X] Snow White, [ ] Cina-baby, [ ] Mochalicious, [ ] Dark Chocolate, [ ] Other:__________
Please provide the witches with your measurements and body-type.
a.) Height: 6 ft
b.) Body Type: [ ] Skeletal, [ ] Lean and Tender, [X] Lean and Tough, [ ] Ripe
and Edible
Do you have any extra extremities? Place an “X” to all that apply.
[ ] Horns or [ ] Halo
[ ] 20 ft. of Hair or More
[ ] Gills and Fins or [ ] Hooves
[ ] Wings (Span: )
[ ] Tail (How many: )
How many heads do you have?
Really?
Do you have arms and legs? If so, how many?
I have an idea, how about I take off my clothes and show you, oh luscious witch.
How dead are you? [X] Living, [ ] Undead, [ ] Astral Form
What are you? (Species/Breed)
Nephilim. I’m a Lust demon. Which means I’m sexy as sin. Wanna take a ride?
What is the occasion? (Ideas include: Wedding, Funeral, Sabbath, etc. Oh, and
seduction is a valid occasion. The more details, the better.)
Who the hell cares, I’m only here for the after party
What’s the occasion setting? (Beach, haunted castle, grand ball, etc.)
You in my bed, spread out before me wearing nothing but a smile…
Will you be fighting for your life at some point in the evening?
Only if you say no *lecherous grin*
Will you be set on fire? Better yet, will you be setting other people on fire?
Only if they interrupt me, then all hell will break loose.
Will you be grave-robbing? (Dirt is a dressmaker’s tedium.)
Darling, these hands will only get dirty in bed.
What are you wearing right now? Who picked that outfit out? (Basically, who let you leave the crypt in those?)
Nothing. At. All.
Do you hope to be naked at some point in the evening? (All right, dirty birds. Such questions are actually intended toward the weres and shifters in regards to their
transformations.)
I don’t hope—I know I will be.
Describe your last brush with Death in two sentences. (Helps us plan for the unexpected.)
I laid her down, crawled between her legs, and made her weep with two flicks of my tongue…
Do you need a secret compartment for gigantic swords and guns, condoms…eyeliner, maybe?
*snorts* That’s funny
What are your three favorite colors?
Buff. Nude. Flesh.
What two colors ninja your brain, sweetie?
Whatever you need them to be.
Please pick a style that you feel embodies you the best. If none apply, feel free to surprise us by providing your own brilliant description in the “other” slot.
[ ] Dark Angel: This is for the spoonfuls of charming. The good-natured and naughty boys next door types. Thoughtful and sensual. Loyal and intelligent. More often than not, his head is in the clouds, but that smile holds hope for all of us. Our wizards.
[ ] Beast King: This is for the warlords and alphas. The type of men who walk into a room and their presence hushes out the sun. They live in their bodies, but their minds are searching for the next challenge. Hands for fighting and these boots for ass-kickings. Our protectors.
[X] Smooth Criminal: This is for the bad boys. You know, the types—mother’s worse nightmares. The kind of man that makes your skin itch every time he devours you with that hundred yard stare. Chances are his senses of humor is as wicked as his tongue. To hold him, isn’t to catch him. Our scheming rogues.
[ ] Black Knight: This for the mysteries. The ones no one can quite make heads or tails out off. He’s a mixture, a melting pot of strong, sinister, and sweet. He might be Dark Angel one day, and a Smooth Criminal other days. Our brothers.
[ ] Other: _____________________
Who is your favorite fairy tale villain?
I eat those bastards for breakfast. I’m the real big bad wolf.
If you could be any comic book hero, who would it be?
Whatever you want me to be.
Now, tell us who you love the most.
Not who. What. Sex. All the time. Every day. My cock in your warm flesh, your skin on mine, mine on yours. Bareback. Doggie. Missionary. I really don’t care, I’ll make you come anyway you ask me to.
Anything else you’d like to add…
There is only one person in all the world I ever gave two shits about. Her name’s Pandora and I stabbed her through the heart. I might be a lover, but don’t ever think you can tame me.
.
After
many barrels of chocolate, a dash of magic, and furious sewing…
Sinister
Stitches’ Medieval Mistress
Astrid
Dweyer presents Luc’s
Completed
Threads
“Tailored
Temptation”
There is a vampire stalking you from the shadows of Sinister Stitches’ tearoom. Her
eyes are slanted, jaded amethyst glowing in the darkness. You can’t see her
face, but every cutting sweep of her long lashes is felt against your cheek. Seated
with miles of oil-black coils wound at her feet, she clad in a black satin
pencil-skirt dress. Black stiletto catching the light and gleaming like a
silver stake. She uses the tip of her twisted bone wand to pull purple
tea-shades down her slender nose:
Oh,
baby…you must be lost. Have to be. First of all, Twisted Threads is that way. That’s where they make threads
for wicked ones of the male gender. Second, welcome to Sinister Stitches. Bow
down and worship, sinner, I’m Astrid the Medieval Mistress running shit on this
catwalk. And I’m about the only one who could be trusted to fashion your
treads. Gillian wouldn’t have lasted a second; wench would be naked as we
speak. And Brenda would’ve ridden that ass like a naughty pony. I’m Astrid the
Tempest. And I’m not interested.
Ah,
ah, ah—shut up and stop smiling at me, hot mess. I cannot be seduced, I cannot
be held in thrall, and I cannot be charmed. You risk that hard shit between
your thighs at your own peril, understood? And lastly, the only reason I’m
fashioning you threads is because this is my mother’s store and she doesn’t
believe in turning down good business. So, I’m going to get up from this chair
now, and you’re gonna keep your goddamn hands to yourself. Demon or no, I will
have that candy ass in a sling. Ah, ah, ah—what did I say? Shut up, I’ve killed
fools for less. That’s right, I axed the real
big bad wolf. And then, I made a fucking dress out of his skin. So don’t push
me, ingrate.
Now, I didn’t bother with a shirt. Obviously, you won’t need it. Seems like no matter
what you’re doing, you’re going to end up naked, but what the hell? Come here
and put on this jacket and these pants for giggles. The fabric is a New Gothel
wool and black butterfly cashmere blend. It will have the durability afforded
to wool, but cashmere drapes better and has that otherworldly “dressed to kill”
shimmer. Won’t hold creases very well, but that’s not an issue, considering it
probably won’t stay on long.
We went British for the cut. Expect mild shoulder padding, notched lapels, and a tailored fit. It will show off all that supposed sexy in the right light. However, we
did do away with buttons. All of them. The onyx buttons on your jacket’s cuff
were fashioned from golem eyes, and they’re purely decorative. Otherwise, you
will not find a single button on your outfit. Frankly, I’m not going to be
blamed every time you pop your cork and take out an eye.
Everything is regular, run of the mill Velcro. Indeed, I sure did make you some tear-away threads. Now…
Astrid stalks to the front door and throws it open. Beyond the threshold, the city is
growling to life in the rising twilight: You in my store, pack up all nine inches of that impressive
cock and go search the stars for a clue.
Stop it! Stop kissing me—okay, okay, just one on the cheek. Your are kinda cute. Now, get out.
IMPORTANT BULLETINS from THE PIXIES:
For more information about Marie Hall and Luc’s adventures in the Night series please check out her author website
Care to check out the last round of Sinister Stitches interviews? Check out Sophie Avett and Jennifer Blackstream’s
paranormal den, the Brimstone Pub. All SS interviews are retired there after their tour until the release of the SS e-book.
For more nformation about Sophie Avett’s New Gotham Fairy Tales, the Sinister Stitches
series, and recent releases, please check out her website.
Image Credit(s): MaxFrost
Image Editing Credit(s): Elaina, For the Muse Design
Genre: Dark Fantasy Romance (MM/New Adult)
Publisher: Skeleton Key Publishing
Date of Publication: May 1, 2014
Number of pages: est. 22 pages
Cover Artist: Elaina, For the Muse Design
.
.
There’s a wild animal on the loose in the black forests surrounding New Gotham…
Well, Peter doesn’t care.
Peter Ume is more interested in finding a way to alleviate the skull-numbing boredom of a city wide shut down. So far his ideas for excitement hover between stealing an unwary idiot’s underwear (soul works, too), setting someone’s eyebrows on fire, or stabbing the next person he meets in the eye with a hot French fry.
It turns out, he’ll be able to save assault and theft for a rainy day. As luck would have it, this naughty kitsune is about to meet the big bad wolf.
And man, is the wolf in for a surprise…
Warning: This story can be read as a standalone, but you will want to smack Sophie for it. (Or so the ravens have said.) So, do keep in mind that there is a part two. (And it will be a freebie. Sophie’s Pixies will carrier pigeon everyone more information soon.)
~~~~~~
Sophie Avett is kind of a nerd. Like not even one of the cute, hip ones everyone brags about nowadays. More like the socially awkward hippie who eats way too much bread and dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books. Um…yeah. Picture old, tattered paperbacks and comic books–mostly Batman and Wonder Woman–dwarfing a tiny desk, with just barely enough room for the troll who writes there and the 70 pound hell-hound that insists on laying it’s wet nose on top of her bare foot.
Granted not the most exciting existence, but she tries to make up for it by writing romances populated with her own peculiar ilk of paranormal beasties. Trolls, wyverns, the obscure Nordic brownie–she likes to keep things interesting. And bloody. (And mostly naked–but, we’ll keep that bit between us.)
.
~~~~~
Tour giveaway:
1 Gray Shell Pearl Shamballa Style Bracelet from Bits and Pieces which is featured in the book and prize pack
– The entire prize pack will include: the bracelet, some trinkets and wonderfully sarcastic little note from Mrs. Pott’s.
10 ecopies of ‘Twas the Darkest Night
Click on the Rafflecopter below to enter.
~~~~
Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!
To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!
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“…dreams about being a dragon from behind towers of mythology books” seems to be same dream as mine. Can’t wait to read her books.
Merry Met Mari! (BLUSH) First, thank you so much for stopping by to leave a comment. I truly appreciate it! And second of all, I blush into chocolate, woman! Indeed, we share the same dream. I dream of being a dragon–or something else that doesn’t have to wear pants. I’m so happy I’m not alone in this! lol 🙂
Me too. Just finished this one. It was free on Amazon. Whew! What a read:)
Re Just Finished – Blush! I blush into chocolate now! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. 🙂
WOW! An amazing post filled with tons of goodies!
Merry Met Sherry! Thank you so much for stopping by! And I am so THRILLED you enjoyed the post! It was a dream come true to get to work with Luc, and I had an absolute blast writing that post! So much fun! 🙂
Isn’t it so fun. What questions, and the answers heat it up to the nth!
I adored the fitting too. Check out Amazon Sherry. This is a very short story and it was free last I checked!
Re the Fitting – That part is probably my favorite. I only have ONE character in that series that can stand up to all that nakedness. And even she was like…”Well…it is cute.” lol
I picked it up. Thanks for the heads up Laura. Thanks for the freebie Sophie. I look forward to seeing what all the talk is about. ^_^
Merry Met FUOnlyKnew! – Thank you so much for hosting me! Here, have one of Granny’s fresh baked chocolate chip cookies! Everything looks wonderful. 🙂
Thanks so much. The cookie was delicious. Your fitting and interview are such fun. I feel like I know Luc a little better now. He’s a dastardly devil isn’t he!
You’re welcome for the cookie! Re Luc – Dude, we all know Luc a little better. Marie sent him to my shop butt naked. The birds know him better now. Even God was like, “Where is his pants?! I made pants for that one!” lol
First, I am already drooling over the guy in the pic! That is all that you needed to pull me in and I am pretty much already hooked! Love the sound of it too…. on a serious note ~ Thanks for another fabulous book suggestion and I have already added to my TBR list.
Hi Melissa! It’s always fun to see you over here. Check on Amazon. This was free last time I looked. It’s very short and very fulfilling! Luc is cheeeky isn’t he?! LOL
Merry Met! Re Drooling- RIGHT?! Oh my god, I thought I was going to have a cow. I had to write the results looking at that thing and NO ONE should be expected to have intelligent thought right then. No one. So mean. Re TBR LIst – The first book of the Night series is free on Amazon. Not sure if you’ve checked that one out, too, but it was fabulous. (Marie is my wench. Makes me LAUGH, and LAUGH.) Re My Cry Wolf short – Is totally still free everywhere. The second part comes out this month! We finally get to see my Luka NAKED! (Someone throw confetti!)
I loved this post! Oh my! Thank you, too, for letting me know the first book is free. I must get to work reading this series. If the whole thing is anything like these posts (I’ve read a few now), my stomach muscles will be sore from laughing.
@ Michelle! – Ha! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. And you’re welcome! Re Read a Few – Oh! I’m glad you’re enjoying the other ones. They will eventually be released in an e-book, so everyone can read them all together. We have an utter blast writing them. And I promise, no one laughs at these like I do. I laugh like a four year-old with a pair of knickers on her head. 🙂