Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for My Gangster Father And Me! organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.
Author Marcia Rosen will award a $25 Amazon or B&N Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner. Don’t forget to enter!
And you can click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.
My Gangster Father And Me!
by Marcia Rosen
Genre: Memoir
Synopsis
Happy Fathers Day.
Our history and experiences can define us, inspire our actions and as writers impact our words and stories. Mine most definitely has. My father was a gangster. Really!
This is my story about my relationship with my father and how his profession affected me and my life, “He called me Sugar Plum. Both a blessing and a burden, I learned interesting lessons from my father: about generosity and determination, taking risks, and certainly finding the willingness to live life as an adventure.”
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Enjoy this peek inside:
There were mixed messages and expectations for my generation. My friends, mostly high school sorority sisters, fell in line. They married, had fancy weddings, and wore beautiful white wedding dresses. For me, they were the symbol of years of living an unwanted life. It was expected of them. They had dreamed of being a bride and about their wedding since playing dolls and dress-up as little girls. They lost themselves and who they could be, shoving aside what they were capable of being, to do what was expected.
One brilliant girl I knew wanted to be a doctor. Instead, she became an accountant. What a waste. Another wanted to be an actress, another a dancer, another a social worker. They found it best to leave those dreams tucked away so they would be approved of by their families. The sadness of not fulfilling their dreams caused them to feel an emptiness much of their lives. I had many women tell me this when I toured the country with my first book, “The Woman’s Business Therapist.” One woman had told me her whole life she felt as if she could never fill the emptiness. Now a senior, she realizes why. She had abandoned her education for marriage. Why couldn’t she have had both? Men do.
Throughout my life I felt as if I was being strangled by such demands. I did my best to untangle their grasp. The mixed messages for women amounted to being a good wife and mother. The man is the head of the household and breadwinner, meaning his needs and wants are more important than yours.
Oh, oh. My mistake? I began making more money than my now ex- husband.
I was to have his dinner on the table when he came home from work. I often begrudgingly did.
Oh, oh. I hate to cook.
Never refuse to have sex with him. (Honestly, my father’s mother told me this when I first got married.)
Oh. Oh. I failed again.
Really, I tried to do what was expected. All my friends were already married, what was I to do?
First, I married a hippie and had a baby. Oh, oh, the two-year marriage ended in divorce.
So, why not try again. Another marriage, another child. This time the disaster lasted twenty-one years. He was a cheat and a womanizer. No more oh, oh. Only good riddance!
A couple years later in therapy, I commented, “He was lucky I didn’t kill him.”
The voice of reason calmly asked, “What good would that have done?”
I not so calmly shouted, “I could have hung his head on the wall, same as when someone shoots a deer and hangs it on their wall.”
“You might need more therapy,” the therapist replied.
Me: “No, I feel great about the idea!”
My parents had wanted me to marry a nice Jewish boy and live in a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood. At least my mother surely did. I hadn’t met her expectations. Neither did my father.
How is it possible to meet our parents’ expectations when our ambitions and interests are far different than theirs? My mother’s own disappointments created her dreams for what I might become, how I might live my adult life. I never felt my father had those same expectations. He was, however, disappointed with the two men I married. We both were.
The thing is, we women had mixed messages and expectations in our heads, voices shouting at us, holding us back from stepping outside the box women were told they fit into. I often refused to listen to those voices. I didn’t make my life easy.
I wanted to live a life beyond the ordinary. Have I paid a price for my wanting to live differently than what was expected of a woman of my generation? Probably so. Mostly, it’s been worth it to me. It would have been lovely to be married to the right man for me—one who would have been as supportive and proud of me as I would have been of him.
Constantly pushing myself to succeed. I found myself in situations where I was financially responsible for my sons, their education, and my own needs. But I did it. My dad’s voice was in my head. “Never be a quitter.”
I’ve hardly ever told anyone about the time I was asked to run for Congress in NYC—a “no” I have regretted.
Wow, my dad would have been thrilled.
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About Author Marcia Rosen:
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Marcia Rosen is an award-winning author of twelve books including nine mysteries, the most recent is An Agatha, Raymond, Sherlock, and Me Mystery: Murder at the Zoo. She is also the author of The Senior Sleuths, the Dying to Be Beautiful Mystery Series, and The Gourmet Gangster: Mysteries and Menus (Menus by her son Jory Rosen). She wrote The Woman’s Business Therapist and My Memoir Workbook and has given Memoir Writing presentations and classes for close to twenty years. Her Memoir Blog can be found on her website. For twenty-five years she was owner of a successful national marketing and public relations agency.
Marcia has frequently been a featured speaker at organization meetings, bookstores, libraries, and Zoom Programs presenting talks on Encouraging the Writer Within You, Marketing for Authors, Writing Mysteries…Not A Mystery and A Memoir Detective…Writing Your Life Story. She has also helped numerous writers develop and market their books.
She is a member of Sisters in Crime, Southwest Writers, New Mexico Book Association, Public Safety Writer’s Association, International Memoir Writer’s Association, Women’s National book Association and National Association of Independent Writers and Editors—for which she is also a board member.
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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!
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A fascinating insight with this read.
Thank you so much for featuring MY GANGSTER FATHER AND ME! today.
This sounds like a really interesting story.
A captivating and unforgettable memoir which interests me greatly. Brave, smart and creative. What a a talented woman and author. Thanks for this fabulous feature and giveaway.
Souds like a good book.
This sounds very interesting. Thanks for the giveaway!
I loved writing the story of my Dad and Me, it was his love for his family that gave us courage and hope. Thank you all for lovely comments, Marcia
Really enjoyed the Peak Inside. Good work.
This sounds like an interesting read.
When you were a child, what genres did you read?
Nancy
allibrary (at) aol (dot) com
This sounds like an interesting book and I also like the cover.
sounds like an interesting book
What an interesting life the author has led! Sounds like a fascinating read!
Sounds like an interesting story. Adding to my TBR list.
Thanks everyone for nice comments, Marcia
Sounds like a good read.
Sounds like a great book.
Hope it does well!
The synopsis is interesting. Thank you for sharing it.
Great synopsis. Thanks for sharing.
when did you start writing
Congratulations on your book.
How many books have your written in total?
What do you like/dislike about Summer?
this sounds pretty interesting
Have a super weekend.
I enjoyed reading this well done excerpt.
Thank you for sharing it.
Barbara Montag
Hope you have a good end of the weekend.
Sounds like a super interesting story.
Have you ever started a book that you decided not to finish?
Barbara Montag
ar eyou a full time writer or do you have a day job
What inspired you to write this book?
Barbara Montag
congrats on the release
I hope you have a good week.
Love the cover art.
The book sound intriguing.
How’s your season going so far?
Sounds super interesting!
what is your favorite type of book to read
I hope you are having a wonderful day.
This sounds like an interesting book.
How do you come up with names for the characters?
Barbara Montag
Do you prefer comedy or drama?
Happy Wednesday!
who is your inspiration
Happy Thursday
how long have you been writitn
Have a wonderful Thursday!
Do you write as your primary gig or have another job?
This book sounds like brilliant.
What part of the book was the most fun to write?
Barbara Montag
Do you have any further writing plans?
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKENd
Hope your week was okay.
hows the weather where you live, been pretty cool here
Enjoy your weekend.
What was the hardest part of the book to write? Most fun?
Hope you’re enjoying your book tour.
Did you have any writing education?
This looks like a really intriguing book!
Does writing energize or exhaust you?
Barbara Montag
hope you are enjoying Fathers day
Happy Father’s Day
I hope your Sunday was great.
Love the use of your photos on the cover.
do you use the same cover designer each book
Enjoy your Monday!
Did you ever write a book that made you cry?
Barbara Montag
This sounds like a fascinating story
Do you get stressed?
What advice do you have for writers?
Barbara Montag
does it take a lot of research for a book
Have a super Tuesday!
Hope you have a super Hump Day
Do you have a favorite author or genre?
Barbara Montag
have a wonderful day
Never live up to anyone’s expectations but your own. I do not blame you for wanting to live a life that was beyond ordinary. Your memoir sounds intriguing.
I hope life is treating you well.
Your story sounds very interesting.
happy writing
looks like a fun one
Wow – can I ever relate to this book!
How many hours a day do you write?
Barbara Montag
thanks again for the giveaway, best wishes with the book