Archive for the ‘comedy’ Category

 

Brian and Mina’s Holiday Hits

by Kitty Thomas

 

 

Publication date: December 18th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Dark Romance, Romance

“Be honest with me, Brian. Are we going on a cross-country killing spree?”

“I’d hardly call it a spree.”

Brian Sloane is a pure psychopathic monster… to everyone but Mina.

She was looking for a good man to scratch a particular itch but instead ended up bought by the violent enforcer of a submissive training house.

Against all odds, the villain became her hero. She was the light to his dark until the lights went out, and the darkness inside her came out to play.

Now they’re both killers, chasing the blood lust, running toward their demons, each hit job more dangerous than the last. From a twisted Easter hunt, to an explosive Fourth of July, from a deadly masquerade ball, to an even deadlier Krampus run, culminating in the Do or Die Valentine’s Day Kill that will either seal their doom or their happily ever after.

Do killers even deserve a happy ending?

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

It’s after dark when we arrive at the Windsor Estate. The heavily guarded iron gate extends around Drake Windsor’s massive property which seems to go on for miles. I grip Brian’s arm and lean in to whisper in his ear as we walk along the well-lit path up to the front door.

“What about weapons?” I whisper.

“No weapons,” he says. “They’ll pat us down and send us all through a metal detector inside.”

“Then how in the f**k are we going to do this? Are you planning to kill him with your bare hands?”

Brian shrugs. “I could. He’s too refined to get his own hands dirty. He’s old money.”

“What does he do? Besides hiring assassins to kill all his enemies.” You’d think Brian would have listed this man’s profession on the murder wall.

“Oil magnate.”

“Is that even still a thing?”

“Apparently,” he says.

“I thought you’d tell me he was in the tech industry.”

Brian laughs. “I said old money.”

“Fossil fuel. Checks out.” Dinosaurs are for sure old.

I stop talking as we get closer to the house. It’s so big, even the word mansion doesn’t quite cover it. The security detail are all big burly guys wearing suits and electronic ear pieces. They give us both a once over, their eyes staying on me a bit longer than is actually necessary.

The first one pats Brian down, and then goes for me, but Brian closes a tight grip over the man’s wrist.

His voice is low and calm when he speaks. “Elvin, I swear to every power living and dead that if you touch her, you will not survive to see your daughter’s first Christmas.”

The guard swallows hard. “I have orders…”

“You have metal detectors. You and I both know that’s the real security. This pat down business is just security theater—a display of Windsor’s power and nothing more. You think about whether it’s worth your life to participate in this charade.”

He nods. “Go on in, Mr. Sloan.” Then he nods at me, “Ma’am.”

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About Author Kitty Thomas:

KITTY THOMAS writes dark stories that play with power and have unconventional HEAs. She began publishing in early 2010 with her bestselling COMFORT FOOD and is considered one of the original authors of the dark romance subgenre.

To find out FIRST when a new book comes out, subscribe to Kitty’s New Release List: KITTYTHOMAS.COM

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My job is to prevent the drama, not be the drama…

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Waiting For a Girl Like You

By Katie Delahanty

Genre: Romantic Comedy, Women’s Fiction

Rule 1: No flirting.

 

Rule 2: No one can know your real identity.

 

Rule 3: Nothing can get in the way of the bride’s perfect wedding.

 

Being a bridesmaid-for-hire doesn’t exactly pay off law
school loans, though the job gives Gwendoline Watson time to indulge in her
passion: writing for her music platform Shut Up & Sway.

But thirteen subscribers don’t add up to a lucrative career,
so Gwen agrees to work overtime at a destination wedding to pay for her cat’s
emergency surgery. There could be worse ways to make money—or so Gwen thinks
until she lands on the dreamy Italian coast and learns the groom is the first
love who broke her heart.

Duncan Avila is a wedding singer with a modern yacht-rock
vibe whose voice can make any bridesmaid fall at his feet. Except the one he
really wants.

Between hilarious day trips to matchmake the mismatched
bride and groom and swoony late-night schemes to help Duncan’s dreams come
true, is Gwen destined to always be the bridesmaid in life and love? Or is
everything she ever wanted right there in front of her, just waiting for a girl
like her?

This delightful rom-com set to a yacht rock playlist will
keep you laughing and singing along through the last dance.

Amazon
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Katie never knew she was a writer. As a child, she loved old
movies, costumes, fashion, playing dress up, and books. Lots of books. On her
quest to play make believe for a living, she decided she wanted to be a fashion
designer. After satisfying her practical parents by graduating from UCLA with a
BA in Communication Studies, she went on to pursue her design dreams with a
Professional Designation in Fashion Design from FIDM. She spent five years
helping to design romantic dresses that were sold everywhere from Anthropologie
to Nordstrom before an economic downturn led to a career shift and that
practical degree came in handy. Now in charge of the ecommerce business for In
Bloom Lingerie, she was asked to start the company blog. Not knowing what to
write about lingerie, but needing to use bridal keywords, she decided to start
a fictional serial about how a girl named Olivia Bloom, who worked for In Bloom
Lingerie, became engaged. And that’s when Katie fell in love with storytelling
and the path to make believe became clear. She hasn’t looked back since. She is
the author of the Brightside Series and the Keystone Series and would love to
connect with you at www.KatieDelahanty.com

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Elf Against the Wall

by Alina Jacobs

 

(The Wynter Brothers, #2)
Publication date: November 12th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

When you kiss your perfect boyfriend under the mistletoe…only for your cousin to scream to the family that you stole her man, Christmas is OVER.

In my defense, I didn’t know my boss—yup, boss. Buckle up because this is messy—was my cousin’s newly minted and totally lying fiancé. I thought he was the Nutcracker Prince come to finally show my family that I, too, was worthy of putting the star atop the Christmas tree.

I was so wrong.
Now my entire family thinks I’m a ho ho ho.
I’m at the top of the naughty list, not in a fun Elf on the Shelf way, but rather in a snide-comments-at-brunch and sitting-at-the-kids’-table kinda way.

I have to clear my name, or Christmas is ruined. Again.
What better way than to blackmail my family’s number one sworn enemy?
Anderson Wynter is this desperate

elf’s last hope. Six-foot-five, ethically challenged, with washboard abs and a death wish, Anderson is the perfect weapon to expose my ex and help me get back in my family’s good graces.
That is, until the weapon massively backfires… and no, not like that.

Anderson goes full Nightmare Before Christmas and shows up at my family’s annual holiday party in nothing but tattoos and a motorcycle helmet and tells everyone we’re dating.
Yep, that kicks me off the naughty list and sends me straight to the Grinch’s garbage dump.

Now I’m chained to a motorcycle-riding bad elf with terrible morals and an even worse attitude—one who sticks his hand down my shirt in the middle of my parents’ posh country club and tells me to ride him like I do his bike.
When I slap him, he just smirks and asks if I fluff my marshmallows while fantasizing about betraying my family with him.
As if.

No way am I sleeping with the man my entire family hates.
Because that won’t just ruin Christmas.
It’ll ruin the rest of my life.

Naughty elves of Christmas checking in! We’re drunk caroling, eating cookies at midnight, surviving family drama, and drooling over hot, unattainable men who are oh so wrong for us. This standalone holiday romantic comedy has all the Christmas cheer you can fit under the tree and a happily ever after guaranteed!

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

There was a man—a huge man!—in my father’s study, all in heavy black motorcycle gear, a helmet hiding his face.

Snowball had her needle-sharp teeth latched onto the robber’s pant leg, and he was batting at her roughly, trying to knock her off.

“Don’t you hurt my dog!” I screamed, picking up a priceless wood statue my parents had brought back from their anniversary trip to Japan and racing after the attacker.

He grunted in surprise but raised his arm too late to block the statue from crashing into his motorcycle helmet, shattering the tinted visor.

Eyes like a raging winter storm glared back at me through the broken glass.

I hefted the statue again, and it connected with one of his massive arms.

The hit didn’t even knock him off-balance.

“Oh shit,” I whimpered as he took a step toward me.

The huge arm came up, knocking the statue out of my hands to split on the floor.

I spun to escape but tripped on the corner of the rug and crashed to the floor, yelling unintelligibly as he pounced on me, pinning me on my back. His huge gloved hand covered my mouth and nose so I couldn’t scream. I could barely breathe.

“Shut up,” the deep voice ordered, slightly muffled by the broken motorcycle helmet.

I struggled under the massive male body that had me trapped on the floor, clawing ineffectively at him.

“What the hell?” he growled. “Fuck, I need to do something with you.”

Was he going to hurt me? Or take me with him to be—Gulp—disposed of somewhere else?

Don’t let yourself be taken to a second location!

But I couldn’t budge all the muscle and sinew holding me down.

“Motherfuck—” he roared, snatching his gloved hand back from my mouth as Snowball bit him, her sharp teeth sinking through the gloves into his thumb.

Sucking in shuddering breaths, I pummeled the man’s helmet as he shook his hand, Snowball not letting go as he flapped her around.

Scraping my nails on his neck, I managed to drag his helmet off his head and hoisted it, banging it on his face and shoulders as he cursed, finally shaking the dog and the glove free.

His tattooed hand made a fist and punched the helmet out of my grasp. His knee pinned my hip to the floor. As he raised himself slightly, his face was lit up by passing headlights.

“Oh my god,” I whimpered, eyes bugging out of my head as I took in his chiseled face, strong jaw, black hair, wintery gray eyes, and scars on his cheek and across one eye.

“You’re the… the… the…”

“The… the… the…” he mocked as he catalogued my dawning recognition.

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About Author Alina Jacobs:

If you like steamy romantic comedies with a creative streak, then I’m your girl!

Architect by day, writer by night, I love matcha green tea, chocolate, and books! So many books…

Sign up for my mailing list to get the free novella, AFTER HIS PEONIES, along with special bonus content, giveaways, and more!

http://alinajacobs.com/mailinglist.html

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Baltimore Police Detective Kev Dixit is being stalked by a psychopath.

He’s also saving lives and solving crimes.

And he’s late for dinner.

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Sunscreen Shower

A Detective Kev Dixit Novel 2

by J.P. Rieger

Genre: Crime Mystery, Dark Comedy

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Baltimore Police Detective Kev Dixit is being stalked by a
psychopath. He’s also saving lives and solving crimes. And he’s late for
dinner.

Dixit temporarily heads the Criminal Investigation Division,
a real stress inducer. Aided by humorless partners and eccentric high school
friends, he investigates two vexing cases. Spouses are found shot to death in
their home. Murder-suicide is the obvious call, considering one spouse had just
cleaned out the couple’s joint accounts the day before. But all is not as it
seems when Forensics takes a closer look at the victims’ DNA. Later, Dixit and
his assigned mentee investigate a car bombing. What kind of person would
viciously murder a likeable gym rat?

Oh, and that murder-suicide. It reminded Dixit of an earlier
investigation, back when he was a mere newbie detective. One where he worked
tirelessly to solve a string of increasingly vicious serial attacks on single
women. One where he barely escaped with his life.

What readers are saying:
 



“A smartly plotted murder mystery set in Baltimore and
filled with memorable, local characters. Hugely enjoyable!”

The Wishing Shelf – Five Stars

“The author has crafted a masterful mystery novel with a
story full of unexpected twists and turns. . . . A great detective story with a
clever ending.”

Kirkus Reviews

“Rieger seamlessly weaves together a gritty crime
investigation, with a dark, delirious comedy. . . . A clever, funny and
wonderfully strange crime detective novel.”

Readers’ Choice Book Awards – Five Stars

“As a police procedural, this patiently crafted thriller is
methodical in its investigative storytelling and slow-burn character
development . . . With plenty of twists and dramatic reveals to keep readers
hooked, but still in the dark about the full story, this tangled mystery is
entertaining from the first page.”

Self-Publishing Review

“Rieger ensures that cases are solved through meticulous
police investigations rather than fortuitous breaks, adding a layer of
authenticity to the story. This attention to detail makes the narrative feel
genuine and engaging, particularly for fans of police procedurals. . . . The
book offers a unique blend of intense action and emotional introspection,
making it a worthwhile addition to the genre.”

Literary Titan

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December 2000

The man circled the block just once, precisely according to his plan. He quietly pulled in behind the parked car. He knew which house. He had watched them enter as he drove past the first time. He clicked off the radio’s switch. It had done the trick, as usual. He had heard the badge number and gotten to the scene nearly as quickly as they did.

He took a deep breath. He felt his heart beat faster and deeper. His nerves jangled, electrically fueled by adrenaline. He was happy. No, better than just happy. He felt thrilled, excited. He had never given up on his mission. He had tracked down his prey, finally, to the nondescript house in Hampden. Here it would end.

He removed the Glock from the glove box and placed it into the outer right pocket of his polar fleece. He exited his parked car and closed the door slowly, so very gently, with just enough force to click the door shut. He moved his body against the cloudy twilight toward the house, breathing deeply. The gun tapped against his gut as he walked, annoying him. He had to hold his jacket pocket against his body to stop the movement. But that discomfort, like the rest of the incessant annoyances he continually suffered, would soon be forgotten. Knowing that gave him solace.

He smiled as he approached the home. The dilapidated gray siding of the house smiled back, crookedly. He saw his hand trembling ever so slightly as he grasped the doorknob. He steeled himself and turned the doorknob quietly in the latch, careful to not open the door. Unlocked. He heard muffled sounds. A woman sobbing and a man’s voice speaking loudly. He couldn’t make out the words. Then laughter. He wasn’t sure what was going on inside.

He took the Glock from his fleece pocket, grasping it firmly. He raised his boot-swaddled right foot higher, then yet higher, and kicked forward violently. The wood panel splintered in its frame as the door thrust open, slamming sharply against the living room wall. Instantly, he saw the big older cop standing four yards away in front of a fireplace, grimacing and waving at him like a little child, with his four fingers up by his face. A man in a dark hoodie stood directly behind the big guy, shadowing him, pulling at something, pulling and grunting. The cop continued to hold his hand up by his ear, waving, waving, mutely wriggling his four fingers like a child. The gunman fought the instinct to wave back. Then he heard the muffled sound of a woman sobbing to his left, at the bottom of the staircase. She wore a dark hood over her head. Her wrists were bound behind her. She was curled into the fetal position.

A moment later, in his foreground, he saw his prey, the uniformed cop, back turned, standing over the sofa facing the fireplace. He watched his prey turn toward him looking surprised . . . confused. His prey was holding something in his hand, a round thing with a handle. A frying pan?

He spied the badge number of the man with the frying pan. It was him. The cop was now raising the pan high, about to strike at him. He aimed the Glock point-blank and fired two shots into the cop’s chest. The cop’s body fell backward against the sofa. He watched the cop writhing in agony, trying to right himself against the sofa. He saw the frying pan drop from the cop’s hand and heard the dull metal sound as it hit the floor.

The cop was now doubled over the back of the sofa, moaning but still moving, still trying to right himself. The man spent a quiet moment enjoying the cop’s suffering. And then another moment. Then he took two paces forward and placed the muzzle of the gun against the back of the cop’s skull and pulled the trigger.  Blood and tissue spattered in every direction, some slapping quietly against the shooter’s clothing and face.

The man looked around the room one last time, first toward the sobbing woman and then at the waving man and hooded figure. He wasn’t concerned with any of them. He had carried out his mission. He had avenged his father’s death. He had killed Kev Dixit. There was only one thing left to do. His life was as good as over. He had killed a cop. He sure as hell was not going back to prison. He held the nose of the gun up against his right temple and gently squeezed the trigger.

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**Don’t miss the first Detective Kev Dixit Novel – Clonk! **

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Find it on Amazon

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What literary pilgrimages have you gone on?

  1. Paul Rieger © 1924

 

I travelled to London about twenty years ago and decided to track down the present location of Furnival’s Inn. Furnival’s Inn is probably best known for being the abode of Charles Dickens. He lived there for about four years in the 1830’s and apparently wrote his first novel, The Pickwick Papers, as a resident. But that’s not why I decided to track it down. I actually sought out Furnival’s because it was the home of one of my favorite fictional characters, Romney Pringle. Pringle was the literary invention of writers Austin Freeman and John J. Pitcairn who wrote pseudonymously as “Clifford Ashdown.” Freeman went on to become the pioneer of the medical detective story. His Dr. Thorndyke character was both a forensic investigator and barrister.

Romney Pringle, on the other hand, was a bachelor rogue. He leased an abode/office at Furnival’s Inn as a purported literary agent. But such was merely a cover. As mentioned in the first Pringle story The Assyrian Rejuvenator: “According to high authority, the reason of being of the literary agent is to act as a buffer between the ravening publisher and his prey. But … little or no business appeared to be transacted in the chambers. The buffer was at present idle, if it could be said to have ever worked!”

Pringle’s claim to fame was his ability to install himself invisibly into an ongoing conflict and walk away with its treasure. The Pringle stories are both hilarious and clever. Pringle is an avid bicyclist and there are many London scenes and landmarks referenced in the stories. Pringle’s precise address at Furnival’s was on the second floor, “No. 33, on the left as you enter from Holborn.”

Alas, the building is no longer there. It was torn down in 1889 to make way for a very grand Prudential Insurance building, now called Holborn Bars. However, I did find a bust of Dickens in the portico along with a plaque mentioning Furnival’s Inn. Interestingly, Dickens described Furnival’s Inn in his novel Martin Chuzzlewit: “There are snug chambers in those Inns where the bachelors live, and, for the desolate fellows they pretend to be, it is quite surprising how well they get on.” Perhaps Dickens ran into the desolate bachelor, Romney Pringle, while living and writing there?

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J. Paul (J.P) Rieger is a born and bred Baltimorean and
mostly retired Maryland attorney. He’s the author of Clonk!, a police
farce set in Baltimore and published in 2023 by Apprentice House Press (Loyola
University-Baltimore). Clonk! was a finalist in 2023’s CIBA Mark Twain
Award for Humor and Satire. He’s also author of The Case Files of Roderick
Misely, Consultant
, a 2013 mystery novel featuring a wannabe lawyer
anti-hero. His third novel, The Big Comb Over, a slipstream fantasy/
comedy of manners, was a finalist in 2023’s Wishing Shelf Book Awards. Sunscreen
Shower
, a Detective Kev Dixit Novel is Paul’s fourth novel and a
sequel to Clonk! Paul and his spouse lives in Towson, Maryland, a Baltimore
suburb. Chek out his website:
jpaulrieger.net.

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How to Solve a Murder with a Grump

by Laura Pauling

 

Publication date: October 8th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Mystery, Romance

Barrie:

I am determined to make my best friend’s wedding weekend perfect. That includes editing the best man’s speech and making sure he doesn’t drink too much.
Except, he’s the worst kind of grump with a capital G.
Not only that but when this perfect wedding unravels, I find myself the object of his wrath.
He blames me.
So I run.
And I’m wearing the wedding dress. (Don’t ask.)
As I hide out in a small town, following my dreams, I stumble upon a decades-old murder mystery.
Turns out texting the grump might be my only lifeline. And I’m definitely not flirt-texting. Nope. Not me.
Because falling for a grump can only lead to a broken heart.
Right?

Miles:

For the record, I am not a grump.
It’s not me. It’s them.
It’s women.
I’m looking forward to the wedding this weekend. My best friend is getting married.
And the maid of honor texts me.
Not just once.
Oh, no, because that would be much too sensible. Nope. Try a dozen. It felt like a hundred.
I can tell by a glance at the texts that she’s one of those micro-managing, in your business, thinks-she-knows-everything type of woman.
Forget it.
I don’t want her number. I don’t want coffee. I don’t want a date.
I don’t want a single conversation.
Okay, fine. I’m a grump.
But can you blame me?

How to Solve a Murder with a Grump is a full-length hilarious romantic mystery with a swoony, heart-thumping, happily-ever-after kind of ending complete with glitter bombs, snapping turtles (imaginary or not), a decades-old murder, and grand romantic gestures.

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

I take one look at him. Oh yeah, he’s a grump.

Definitely.

But I don’t have time for grumps right now.

You see, I’m running late and the elevator is taking forever to get to the bottom floor. My best friend is getting married in two days, and I’m the maid of honor. I’m trying to compose a text to the best man so we can talk about the speeches. I should’ve reached out to him ages ago, but this weekend came fast. It snuck up on me.

Then, a man near me clears his throat, like he’s trying to send me a message. I take one look at him.

No doubt in my mind he’s a Mr. Grumpy Pants, because I can pick them out a mile away. They’re easy to spot once you know the signs.

Of course, sometimes you’ll get lucky. You’ll make a quick exit. Or he’ll spill his coffee. Someone else will grab his attention.

But there will be times you have to interact with this particular species of men.

Just so you know, there are many ways to deal with a grump. I could write a book on it.

First, don’t be fooled by those flashing white teeth and sexy smirks. Don’t be fooled by a blue shirt, almost the color of tropical ocean water that offsets the gray of his eyes. Don’t be fooled by the rippling muscles underneath the blue shirt.

Nope.

Sexy grumps are the most dangerous, because they’ll steal your heart then stomp all over it.

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About Author Laura Pauling:

I write about spies, murder, and mystery. I love a lot of things about writing and reading stories that have mystery and romance. I love the puzzle of a whodunnit and witty banter between characters who love to hate each other. Especially, when they don’t know they are falling in love.

There are about a gazillion books in the wilds of Amazon and maybe half of them are mysteries. If you want to make sure you know when I have a new release in a current series or the start of a new series then visit www.laurapauling.com and sign up for my newsletter.

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Let’s Not and Sleigh We Did

by J.P. Sterling

(Christmas Shenanigans)

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Publication date: October 25th 2024
Genres: Comedy, Contemporary, Holiday, Romance

Oh, oh, the mistletoe, hung where I did NOT see.
My brother’s friend waits for me and gets down on one knee—What is happening?

Somebody stop it, please!
Oh, those dreamy blue eyes batting at me, and all the words he dares to say.
This is bad.
Like really, really bad.
We’re now planning a wedding day.
But it’s all for a good reason, not love.
Oh, cough, cough, let’s not bust out the L-word.
It’s purely business.
It is a solid plan until it isn’t.
So maybe I love him, but we agreed not to do that . . . whoops!

Let’s Not and Sleigh We Did is a fake marriage of convenience, brother’s best friend, just-kisses-but-all-the-swoons romcom. Oh, yeah, there’s a fluffy cow too!

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

A ring.

Not just any ring, a rose gold band.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, a little harshly, the ring pulsating in my peripheral vision.

“We talked about this, remember?” Luke’s voice drops, rasping.

“We talked about marriage.” I tilt my head to one side, as if I’m physically dividing this argument in half., “But not this, and not in front of them.”

“You’re being modest.” He laughs, tossing a look back at his parents. “I thought it would be nice to share this moment with them.”

“You did?” my voice squeaks, as I’m totally blindsided and wishing I had at least a heads- up. The arrangement had sounded so much more business casual than what’s going on right now. A proposal on one knee is not business casual. This is my heart in my throat, and I’m about to throw up. “Where did you get a ring?” I hiss.

“I bought it today.”

“Today?” I grapple for my throat, praying something gives before I pass out.

“Yeah, today when I was thinking about you.”

Doing a hard pause on the word, you, he’s still holding the ring awkwardly in his hand. I frantically search his face for signs of a prank, but he doesn’t have an ounce of humor curved into a smile.

He’s one-hundred-percent serious.

Quakes rumble against my rib cage. This is an act. I’m clearly about to blow our cover as I’m acting so confused, but this whole thing is blowing my mind. “This is happening so fast.”

“It’s okay. Better than okay.” He takes my hand in his, holding it in front of him. “Ten years ago, you kissed me on a dare. You didn’t know it at the time, but I was already falling in love with you. You were my first kiss, but I knew in that moment, I wanted you to be my last.”

I blink. Everything about his proposal sounds genuine.

My gaze floats to his mom; her hands clasp together in front of her, but her gaze is piercing in my direction. Luke’s dad has a that’s-my-boy grin laced on his lips.

And Luke!

Luke’s winning an Oscar for his acting. His gaze dials right into mine, like it’s boring a trail through my eyes right to my heart. I can’t even tell it’s a fake proposal, and I one-thousand- percent know it’s fake.

It is fake . . . right?

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About Author J.P. Sterling:

J.P. Sterling grew up watching old reruns of Lucille Ball and Mary Tyler Moore and fell in love with wholesome entertainment and slapstick comedy. She loves leaning into the over-the-top humor and full circle moments, especially if it means the underdog gets to shine.

Aside from writing, she’s also a wife and homeschooling mom, a holistic dietitian, a former college professor and lover of all things dark chocolate.

*No swears. Just kisses. No Blasphemies.*

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Penalties and Proposals

by Anne Kemp

 

 

 

(Love on Thin Ice)
Publication date: October 17th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Sports

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It only takes one bad apple to ruin the bunch. When life hands me reformed hockey star Noah Beaumont, AGAIN, am I supposed to make cider or is there a sweeter surprise in store?

Willa: I never wanted to see Noah Beaumont again. EVER. When I kicked him off my set after he showed up intoxicated, his PR team tried to blacklist me. I made it over that hurdle, made a name for myself, and I’m heading to Maple Falls to cover a charity ice hockey team that’s making headlines…only to find out I have to work with HIM.

But this Noah seems different. He’s reformed and seems to be determined to show me he’s changed. Can I trust him, or will he be the same disaster I remember?

Noah: I’ve spent years trying to make amends for my past mistakes, questioning if I still belong in the world of hockey or if it’s time to step back, be ‘normal’. But seeing Willa again brings everything into sharp focus. She’s the woman who’s haunted my thoughts since the day I met her.

Now, she’s here in Maple Falls, and I’m determined to prove I’m not the same man she remembers. I want her to see the real me, the man I’ve worked so hard to become. Can I convince her to give me a second chance?

Penalties and Proposals is part of the Love on Thin Ice sweet small town hockey romcom series. It’s a second chance enemies to lovers story with forced proximity in this small town romance with all the sizzle and chemistry, but none of the spice.

Content warning: This IS a lighthearted and fun romantic comedy, but there are subjects mentioned in this book like parents passing away and former substance abuse.

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

“Is this the only table you have available?”

My eyes cannot be deceiving me. I’m standing in a restaurant with no one else in it, save another couple at the opposite end of the room. Surely the only table they have for me to sit at is not the one that happens to be directly beside Noah? Not to mention the fact the place is small enough I’d practically be sitting at his table anyway, the tables are that close to one another.

The young girl looks at me woefully. “I’m really sorry, but we’re full with reservations tonight.” Her tone is apologetic, and she’s young, so I’m not going to debate the situation … but still. The odds. I flex my hands, stretch my fingers, and take a deep breath, trying to fight back my irritation when I see a sliver of my tattoo under my sleeve.

Believe. Ha. I almost snort out loud. How about I believe I’m Harry Potter and I cast a quick spell to time travel to another restaurant in another town altogether?

“What about the bar?” I nod my head toward the old wooden bar where an older woman is busy making drinks and watching me through narrowed eyes. “Looks like there’s space there.”

“Our bartender isn’t on duty for another hour.” When I shoot her a questioning look, obviously confused by the woman pouring herself a soda from the beverage gun, the young girl stammers. “I’ve been asked to not have anyone sit there until his shift begins.”

So this fact leaves me to be seated by the blight that plagues me. Yes, I’m being ridiculously overdramatic, but the thought of chewing my dinner and having to stare at Noah, or work hard to look anywhere in this room besides at Noah, turns me off in the biggest way. Like a light switch after a big night out. I didn’t go to that party tonight because I wanted some time alone, time to myself to plan out the schedule I need to juggle in the days ahead.

“Fine,” I say with a sigh, pulling out my notebook and phone. When I look Noah’s way, he’s watching me, his expression frozen. I can’t read him, but he could be as weirded out that I’m about to be seated beside him as I am. I’ll save us both the trouble. I pick the chair where my back will be facing him and pull it out and settle in.

The hostess hands me the menu and asks for a drink order before she disappears from sight. I make a mental note to apologize to her. Poor thing. It’s not her fault she’s seated me next to the devil.

“Hi, Willa.” Of course his voice is like hot chocolate. The devil’s would be velvety and delicious. My instincts tell me to ignore him, but I’m here to work. I can hear my mom’s voice in the back of my mind telling me to play nice.

I pick up the menu and fake peruse it. Fake because of course I can’t think about anything else right now except that he’s right there.

“Hello, Noah. Fancy running into you at dinner.”

“A man’s gotta eat,” he responds.

“No doubt, but when I heard about the party happening in town tonight, I figured you’d be the first one signed up to be there.” I flip a page of the menu a little more aggressively than intended and manage to rip it a tiny bit. Must. Breathe.

“Contrary to past reports, I’m not the guy who goes to all the parties any longer.”

I want to turn around and face him, see the look on his face, but the stubborn part of me refuses. He’s the one who is engaging me; I can only imagine that eventually my lack of wanting to chat will catch on and he’ll focus on something else.

“So, you’re telling me a leopard can change his spots. That’s nice,” I manage to say, doubt dripping with each word. Holding my menu up in the air for him to see. “But, the jury’s still out as far as I’m concerned. If you’ll excuse me, I need to decide on my meal.”

There’s a pause before he answers. “Of course, sorry. I’ll leave you to it.”

A weight slides off my shoulders. Was it really that easy? I decide it has to be and go about choosing my meal, landing on the lasagna, then turning my attention to my notebook. This was to be a planning session for Noah’s photos amongst other work, and I intend to stay focused, even if he is right behind me and I can hear him breathing.

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About Author Anne Kemp:

Anne Kemp is a bestselling author of romantic comedies. She loves reading (and she does it ridiculously fast, too!), gluten-free baking (because everyone needs a hobby that makes them crazy), and finding time to binge-watch her favorite shows. She grew up in Maryland but made Los Angeles her home until she encountered her own real-life meet-cute at a friend’s wedding where she ended up married to one of the groomsmen. For real.

Anne now lives on the Kapiti Coast in New Zealand, and even though she was married at Mt. Doom, no…she doesn’t have a Hobbit. However, she and her husband do have a terrier named George Clooney and when she’s not writing, she’s usually with them taking a long walk on the river by their home.

You can find Anne on her website – come say hi! She’d love to hear from you: www.annekemp.com

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Trophy Wife

by Ellie Hall

 

(Love on Thin Ice)
Publication date: October 3rd 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Sports

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They say love is messy. Turns out friendship is too, especially when you’re stranded in a cabin with your best friend and hearts are on thin ice.

Teddy
I’ve heard that men and women can’t be friends without it becoming something more. Harlow and I put that theory in the penalty box, thank you very much.

She laughs at my jokes, secretly admires my hockey butt, trusts me with her biggest fear (it’s safe with me). In turn, she knows everything about me. Well, almost.

There’s been a recent development. I’m gone for her. Down bad. Solid Crush. She lives rent free in my mind. I’ve caught feelings. This wouldn’t be a problem except, you know, the whole shattering our friendship thing.

Harlow
You know those days you want to erase? It went like this: my boyfriend broke up with me (it was overdue), and then I broke up with my job while at a work conference (it was mind-numbing).

In an ironic twist, I won the raffle for a romantic getaway trip for two. Who else to bring other than my best friend who’ll gladly commiserate with me? He has a hockey event nearby, so it works out perfectly.

Until we’re stranded in the cozy cabin together. There’s a blaze of attraction. A friendship-changing kiss.
What now? Do we hit the reset button? Salvage what we had? Pretend it never happened? These are things I’d talk to my bestie about, but I can’t because I’m head over heels for him.

Love at First Skate is part of the Love on Thin Ice sweet small town hockey romcom series. It’s a best friends to lovers, forced proximity, no third act breakup romantic comedy with all the sizzle and chemistry, but none of the spice.

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Grabbing the throw blanket from the back of the loveseat, I wrap it around her and then roll her up, moving away from the food and avoiding table legs, and hollering, “Blanket burrito.”

It’s something that I used to spontaneously do because it’s hilarious, makes Harlow laugh, and is a good excuse for us to be close. Wrapped in the blanket, I have full access to her neck which is ticklish. With her arms tucked in, she can only wiggle and giggle.

I love it. She does too even though it’s the best kind of agony.

Her lowered brow Grumpy Cat seriousness disappears and her expression contorts all giggly and adorable.

“You are the only human on the planet who could get away with this,” she says through laughter.

“I know.”

She adds, “I hate laughing.”

“You don’t. It’s good for you. I consider myself your laughter doctor. This is your daily dose of laughs for medicinal purposes. Take one and call me in the morning.”

This changes the shape of her laughter slightly because the comment genuinely tickles Harlow’s funny bone, as they say.

Snuggled close to me, I peek at her. Our gazes drift together and something twists in my chest. She presses her lips together, probably holding back more laughter. The moment lengthens and then snaps as we burst into another fit of hilarity as I roll us on the floor like a giant, runaway burrito.

“There better be dessert,” she says at last.

“Churro everything,” I say, my voice a bit deeper than usual as I inhale her cinnamon spice scent at close range.

A daring and dangerous thought enters my mind. This could be the norm—closing the distance, cuddling, kissing . . .

But I know better. It would ruin our just friendship. Right then, I do everything in my power to talk myself out of making a play for Harlow.

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About Author Ellie Hall:

Ellie Hall is a USA Today bestselling author. If only that meant she could wear a tiara and get away with it. 😉 She loves puppies, books, and the ocean. Writing sweet romance with lots of firsts and fizzy feels gives her joy. Oh, and chocolate chip cookies are her fave. Ellie believes in dreaming big, working hard, and lazy Sunday afternoons spent with her family and dog in gratitude for God’s grace.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram / Newsletter

 

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for Stilettos & Gunpowder organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.

Author Gail Koger will award a $15 Amazon or B&N Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner. Don’t forget to enter!

And you can click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

  Stilettos & Gunpowder

by Gail Koger

 

 

Genre: Action / Adventure / Romantic Comedy

Synopsis

My name is Gemma Stone. I’m a Maricopa County Sheriff’s Deputy and not only must I deal with the sweat-soaked misery of the Arizona desert, I get to respond to a bunch of crazy 9-1-1 calls all day long. Like a parakeet up a tree, or a car accident where a tractor trailer full of fireworks is hit and the 4th of July comes a bit early.

But some days crime takes a deadly turn. Police cars are suddenly blowing up. Detective Sergeant Dante Delgado, the love of my life, was assigned to track down and stop the bomber. Am I worried? You betcha. There’s a madman on the loose and he is very, very good at making bombs.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, the Feds think I’m in cahoots with an Iraqi warlord who deals in stolen antiquities, Ichabod, my murderous ex-dance partner, escapes from prison and I’m suddenly in everyone’s crosshairs.

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Someone hit the service bell on the front counter repeatedly.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Julie frowned. “What the hell?”

“Hey! I want my fucking gun back,” Chief yelled.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

My temper flared to life. “Enough is enough.” I threw open the restroom door and stormed down the hallway.

Mom and Julie were right behind me.

Ding.

Ding.

Ding.

“It’s about fucking time. Did you hear me, or do I need to repeat myself?” Chief bellowed.

Totally ignoring my throbbing lip, I gave him my Debbie Sunshine smile. “I suggest you take it down a notch or I’ll be happy to arrest you for disturbing the peace.”

Chief sneered. “You think I’m frightened by a bunch of itty-bitty females?” His gaze crawled over my face. “And it’s obvious, you can’t fight worth a damn.”

“Wanna find out?” I challenged.

Julie stepped up. “It’s my turn to deal with obstinate jackasses who won’t listen to reason.”

“It’ll mean another arrest,” I pointed out.

Julie pulled out her cuffs. “If I book another prisoner, I meet my quota for the day, and I’ll have enough points to get that toaster oven I’ve been eyeing.”

“Oh, I thought you wanted the microwave?”

A perplexed frown on his face, Chief growled, “What the fuck are you babbling on about?”

“Hey! Wait!” Frank edged in front of me. “I haven’t met my quota for the day, let me take the arrest.”

Lucas elbowed Frank out of the way. “No, I want it. I almost have enough points to get the fishing pole.”

“Oh, hell no. I need the arrest, before someone snags the tool chest,” Jacob shot back.

Chief backed away from the counter. “You’re all fucking nuts.” He turned on his heel and left.

“Come back tomorrow and talk with Sergeant Bergman,” Julie yelled after him.

“You know, he’s right,” Sheriff Maxwell commented. “You are fucking nuts.”

Dad grinned. “Bamboozling suspects is much more fun than beating the crap out of them.”

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About Author Gail Koger:

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I was a 9-1-1 dispatcher for the Glendale Police Department and to keep from going totally bonkers – I mean people have no idea what a real emergency is. Take this for example: I answered, “9-1-1 emergency, what’s your emergency?” And this hysterical woman yelled, “My bird is in a tree.” Sometimes I really couldn’t help myself, so I said, “Birds have a tendency to do that, ma’am.” The woman screeched, “No! You don’t understand. My pet parakeet is in the tree. I’ve just got to get him down.” Like I said, not a clue. “I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t get birds out of trees.” The woman then cried, “But… What about my husband? He’s up there, too.” See what I had to deal with? To keep from hitting myself repeatedly in the head with my phone I took up writing.

Author Links: Website / Facebook / Goodreads / Twitter / Instagram / BookBub / Amazon

Buy Link: Amazon

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The Parent Playbook

by Elsie Wood

 

(Love on Thin Ice)
Publication date: September 26th 2024
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance, Sports

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I don’t know when dad jokes and mismatched socks became my type, but that hockey dude skated into my life like a runaway puck… and I think I like it.

Angel:

I know I should be thankful that my charity was selected by the Ice Breakers hockey team. It’ll make a huge difference in children’s lives all over the state.

There’s only one problem:

I hate hockey dudes.

I have to remind myself of that fact when Scotty MacFarland with his groan-worthy dad jokes slips into my life like he’s always been there.

No matter how hard I push back on that perfectly formed chest, Scotty remains strong, giving me the space I need. I’m beginning to think I don’t want to have so much space anymore.

But by the time I figure that out, it just might be too late.

Scotty:

The only thing I love more than hockey is my daughter.

It was a no-brainer for me to give up the ice when I became a single dad, and I didn’t look back. But when the call came to coach the Ice Breakers, the opportunity was too good to pass up, and I thought my girl would thrive with a fresh start in Maple Falls.

Turns out, the leaves weren’t the only thing falling in Maple Falls.

Angel Davis swooped into my life and pieces I didn’t know were missing started to fall into place. A devoted single mom, director of a children’s charity, and all-around spark of sassiness, she and I find an easy rhythm, despite her throwing a boot at my face.

But Lily comes first. And if I have to leave behind a future with Angel before it’s started in order to do what’s right, I will.

Though it seems fate has other ideas.

The Parent Playbook is part of the Love on Thin Ice sweet small town hockey romcom series. It’s a single dad/single mom, second chance love story in this small town romance with all the sizzle and chemistry, but none of the spice.

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Before I know it, Scotty’s placing an empty water bottle atop his head, standing with a mock-serious expression, hands by his sides. “All right, Annie Oakley, let’s see what you’ve got.”

I hesitate for a split second—am I really about to throw my boot at this man? But the impish spark in his eyes is too much to resist. I slip off my boot, balance it in my hand, and toss it gently.

It spins through the air, perfectly knocking the bottle off without so much as grazing his hair.

Scotty applauds. “Nice shot! But was it luck or skill?”

“I think we’re about to find out.”

“Over here!” He runs to the other side of the barn and I’m a few strides behind. He snatches his safety goggles, balancing them on his head, but they’re no match for my aim. I knock them off with a satisfying thud.

“Over here!”

A feed bucket, an egg basket, and a grooming brush later, I’ve kept my perfect score.

“You’re amazing!” he shouts. “Wait, I know …” With a particularly devilish grin, Scotty puts on his cowboy hat. “This one’s for all the marbles, Angel.”

“You’re asking a lot of me here. That baby is hugging your head.”

“I have confidence in you.”

“That’s one of us anyway,” I mumble as I take aim, my heart pounding—not from the game, but from the way he looks at me, like I’m the only woman on earth. “Here goes nothing …”

The boot flies true, flicking the hat right off that handsome head.

“Yes!” he cries, and next thing I know, I’m heading for him.

As if drawn by a magnet, I stumble right into Scotty’s waiting arms. Our bodies crash together, his hands steadying me at my waist, and we laugh, my hands on his chest. We’re face to face, breaths mingling, the laughter filling the barn until it fades out and all that’s left is him and me.

His eyes search mine, and there’s so much affection, such tenderness, that something inside me melts on the spot.

Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

I bite my lip as my arms gently push on his chest.

What am I doing?

I have no idea. I can’t tell what I want. I think it’s him, that I want him more than I’ve wanted almost anything, but a force in me presses him back.

This is a silly crush. A silly crush on a super handsome, considerate, helpful, gentle, intelligent, muscular man.

He lets me go, and I don’t know if he just ruined it or saved us both, but he follows up by setting a box of screws on his head.

“How about this? One more for good luck, unless you’re scared of hitting something other than hats.”

The spell may be broken, but my heart still races. “It’s a small target, but I’ve been known to hit a gourd with an arrow from thirty yards at Maple Fest.”

“Prove it, cowgirl.”

Must calm these overwrought nerves. I wind up, ready for the shot …

“MOM!”

“I WASN’T DOING ANYTHING!” I shout as the boot flies a little too forcefully, my aim a little off.

And it smacks Scotty straight in the face.

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About Author Elsie Woods:

Elsie Woods is an author of giggly romantic comedy with a big dose of furry friends. While born in Canada, she abandoned cold winters for southern France with her golden retriever and unicycling French hubby. When not writing, she can be found sipping tiny coffees by the Mediterranean, hiking with her hubby and dog, or munching on the most delicious cheese in the world.

You can chat with Elsie on Facebook (www.facebook.com/elsiewoodsauthor) or watch her (and her dog) be silly on TikTok (www.tiktok.com/elsie_woods_romcom) . Don’t forget to try her free novella on her website: Faking Christmas Love at the Doggy Spa (www.elsiewoods.com)

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Instagram

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~~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.