Archive for the ‘comedy’ Category

MLOblast

When I spotted this title I immediately thought of Must Love Dogs and how much I enjoyed it.

So, naturally, I had to check out Must Love Otters.

This looks to be a sweet, funny romance, and yes, there will be otters!

Get to know more about the book and remember to enter the giveaway.

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Synopsis

Hollie Porter is the chairwoman of Generation Disillusioned: at twenty-five years old, she’s saddled with a job she hates, a boyfriend who’s all wrong for her, and a vexing inability to say no. She’s already near her breaking point, so when one caller too many kicks the bucket during Hollie’s 911 shift, she cashes in the Sweethearts’ Spa & Stay gift certificate from her dad and heads to Revelation Cove, British Columbia. One caveat: she’s going solo. Any sweethearts will have to be found on site.

Hollie hopes to find her beloved otters in the wilds of the Great White North, but instead she’s providing comic relief for staff and guests alike. Even Concierge Ryan, a former NHL star with bad knees and broken dreams, can’t stop her from stumbling from one (mis)adventure to another. Just when Hollie starts to think that a change of venue doesn’t mean a change in circumstances, the island works its charm and she starts to think she might have found the rejuvenation she so desperately desires. But then an uninvited guest crashes the party, forcing her to step out of the discomfort zone where she dwells and save the day … and maybe even herself in the process.

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About The Author:
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Eliza Gordon is a forgetful girl who relies on Post-It notes and cellphone alarms to get her through the day. An avid eater of cookies, she can be found with her hand in the jar when not in her cubicle. A purveyor of fictions, Eliza is confident that the life she lives in merely the imaginings of someone else’s hand, poured from a dull pencil on cafe napkins, and that she is simply an understudy, waiting for her turn to take the stage. She has excellent taste in books, shoes, and friends, and questionable sanity in the realm of love. Best leave that one alone.

In real life, she’s a husband-and-wife team of controlled chaos who writes stories to help you believe in the Happily Ever After.

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$25 Amazon Gift Card
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2 ebook copies of Must Love Otters
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Click on the rafflecopter below to enter.
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Giveaway is open to US Only. | Must be 13+ to Enter
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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!
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To see all of my giveaways click on the image below.
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maplelanemanor

Holy tail feathers Batman!

I’ve got this really fun book to show ya!

A retirement home for supernaturals.

What a funny idea.

Check out the spectacular cover art.

Read a fun excerpt.

And remember to enter the giveaway.

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Title: Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals

Author: Cree Walker

Genres: Paranormal Romance

Categories: Comedy

Erotic Elements: NONE

Publisher: Naughty Nights Press

Release Date: 7/31/2013

Heat Level: Sweet

Word Count/Length: 67,000 words

Buy Links:

Amazon US / Amazon UK / Kobobooks / Allromanceebooks

Goodreads / Smashwords / Indigo

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Synopsis

Maple Lane returns to the retirement home where she grew up, after ten years away, and must face the music. How can she rebuild the dilapidated building, repay a massive mortgage, and restore her residents’ faith in her with her arch-nemesis – Stacy Three Names – breathing down her neck, hungry for an artifact said to grant immortality? As Stacy sabotages Maple’s efforts, the gorgeous new handyman Derek complicates matters with his demon blood and hot attraction.

How can Maple and her residents fight Stacy, find the artifact, and save their home with the rich and powerful of the town arrayed against them?
…And can she trust a demon to help her?

Excerpt:

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As of about four and a half minutes ago, I officially quit college. I’ve decided that after attending not one but two separate colleges during my nine…okay ten years of switching majors and still not knowing what I want to be when I grow up, that I was never meant to be a serious intellectual. I was not designed to run a corporate enterprise or wow the art world with genius sculpture and paintings. I was studying to become a teacher until I realized I don’t like children. I would have made an excellent veterinarian, except I’m allergic to cats. Or, more accurately they are allergic to me. I wanted to be an engineer, but it turns out I’m also allergic to math, which also eliminated engineering and accounting. I even tried psychology, caseworker, and business major. So after trying everything that ever caught my attention, I switched to a technical college, where I discovered I had no talent for mechanics, carpentry, plumbing, heating, or cooking anything in an oven. And I literally flunked out as a dental assistant when I vomited on a patient while I was cleaning his teeth during final exams. So because of this, or rather despite all of this, I’m going into the family business.

My decision for this very sudden and life-altering change might have been prompted by the three-page, single-spaced letter I am now holding. It’s written in legal speak and since I did a very brief stint in law – after watching a marathon of Law and Order while recovering from a vicious and unprompted cat attack – I will summarize; “Your grandmother is dead, and she’s left you the house and its current occupants.”

This is the letter telling me that my Granny Nan has passed away. It was unexpected, and I’m not saying unexpected as in she was always so healthy and she never said she was sick. No, I’m saying unexpected because she was a vampire. Granny Nan was the first in our family, full born. She came with all the perks of the undead. She could turn into a bat and she never aged. She drank the blood of the living, but she never took more than necessary. She could hypnotize people with a wink of her long black lashes, and any whispered suggestions she made became the victim’s lifelong mission to fulfill. She stayed inside on sunny days and avoided anything resembling a wooden stake. On top of all of this, she was very fast and very smart and very full of life.

She raised me from six months old, as my mother had met her untimely demise in an unfortunate car accident involving a truck transporting picket fence posts. As far as anyone knew in the small town where I grew up, Granny Nan wasn’t my very young-looking, nearly two hundred year-old grandmother. She was just my mom.

I’m a second-generation vampire. Vampires aren’t made, or even bred. As far as we can tell, they just happen once in a while, and the only way they can have children is if they choose to do so with a human. Long story short, that makes me a quarter vampire. Meaning I don’t get to live forever, I can’t turn into any cool animals, and I will never be able to hypnotize people with a look or a whisper. The only thing I got from that side of the family is that I have to wear sunscreen year round and I’m mildly anemic. I don’t drink blood, but I like my steak extra rare. I have a pretty good metabolism, but unlike Granny Nan I do have to burn a few calories on the treadmill a few times a week if I want to eat cupcakes.

Having been raised in a retirement home, I am probably more aware of my own mortality than most. What I learned from my somewhat different childhood experience was that I didn’t want to die without living a full and happy life. The only problem was I seemed to be having trouble getting that life of excitement started. I was so scared to make the wrong move that I ended up not moving at all. So at twenty-seven – okay twenty-eight, I was now the newest caretaker of Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals.

I wish I could have posted the other excerpt too. It made me want to read this even more!

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About Cree Walker

 Cree Walker lives in Northern Maine with her very patient debate partner and their furry love child, mini rat terrier, Titan. When Cree isn’t plugging away at her computer she can most likely be found at the hospital where she works as an advanced psychiatric technician for both children and adults.

To date, Cree has four novel length publications with Naughty Nights Press. Paranormal werewolf romance, Whisper on a Scream, and it’s sequel, Urban Fantasy nominated book for 2012, Willing Sacrifice. She also has paranormal romantic comedy, A Winter’s Grave, book one to the Reaper series and her most recent publication, Maple Lane Manor, Home for Retired Supernaturals. So far, Maple Lane Manor has been a finalist in the 2013 Up Authors Fiction Challenge and all have received the coveted 5 star review rating from the Paranormal Romance Guild.

 

Contact Links:

Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Email ~ Blog/Website

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Signed print copy of Maple Lane Manor,

Home for Retired Supernaturals

Click on the rafflecopter below to enter

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Follow the tour for more fun posts by clicking on the banner below.

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the image below.

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Kat Fight Banner3

 Welcome to my stop on the Blog Tour and Giveaway for KAT FIGHT by Dina Silver.

I had so much fun with this book and can’t wait to tell you about it.

Don’t forget to enter the awesome Giveaway!

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Author Name: Dina Silver

Title: Kat Fight

Release date: August 1, 2012

 Publisher: Createspace

 Age Group: Adult

 Genre: Contemporary Romantic Comedy

 Tour organized by: AToMR Tours

 Links to find/buy your book:

Amazon

Kat Fight will be available at other retailers after March 24th.

 

Book Description:

 

Readers everywhere will revel in this sharp-witted, well-meaning whirlwind in author Dina Silver’s hilarious new novel, Kat Fight. In her quest for love, Kat makes every wrong turn, juggling two men, one best friend, and her own deeply confused heart’s desires.

Kat Porter is a consummate romantic, eager for her chance to find love and commitment. But after her boyfriend of four years, Marc, begins to grow apathetic and sends her calls straight to voicemail one too many times, Kat finally musters the courage to confront her so-called sweetheart, who seems more interested in dodging her than courting her. Though she’s no fan of ultimatums, Kat is at the end of her considerable wits, and lobs a massive one his way, completely confident that he’ll make the right decision when faced with losing her. He doesn’t.

With radio silence from Marc, Kat’s lifelong dream of finding a husband and forging a family is decidedly on the skids. That’s when her childhood friend Julie steps in, forcing Kat on a blind date to help her move beyond the break-up. Not only does Kat botch the setup, she instead finds herself in hot pursuit of Julie’s love interest, Ryan Sullivan. A man who, in addition to literally taking her breath away, is the living, breathing personification of everything Kat wants in a husband.

Can Kat connect with the man of her dreams without hurting two of the people she cares most about? At the same time, she must also contend with the quips of her beloved catty coworker Adam, her bi-polar boss Brooke, and a string of comic, unpredictable plot twists. All the while, Kat’s cheeky perspective and generous heart will leave readers adoring every moment of her journey while chuckling and cheering for the ever cute, razor-sharp Kat as she fights to land the love of a lifetime.

My Review

Kat’s tired of the waiting game, of the empty promises. Marc has done it again. No phone call and no show. When she tells him to lose her number and she never wants to see him again, I’m thinking, “Go girl!”

So now she’s alone, checking her phone constantly to see if Marc has called. He hasn’t She really needs to move on. Or so her friends tell her.

At least they are supportive and do their best to console her.

When a new man enters her life, the troubles begin. Her best friend, Julie, had first dibs, but Ryan is interested in her. She’s sneaking around with Ryan and it’s going to get back to Julie. Time to fess up.

This book is fun, fun, fun. I felt like I was on a laugh track, playing over and over. My sides hurt. I literally flew through this, the writing was so smooth. The only bumps were Kat’s, and there were plenty of those.

One of my favorite characters, besides Kat, is her BFF Adam. They are tight, like peas in a pod, with no worries of romantic tangles. He’s gay and very involved with her boss.

The interoffice antics of these two is hilarious and it just keeps getting better. I loved this text message between the two.

Kat: I look down as someone is texting me. It’s Adam.

Take a picture.

He texts.

Take a hike.

I respond

He’s watching you.

Adam informs me.

For real?

I ask.

Yes, quit slouching.

He orders.

I’m going to look at him.

I text back and sit straight.

I’m going to pretend I care.

Adam answers.

The text messages and conversations between these two were some of my favorite parts of the book.

Kat’s juggling too many secrets and when she fesses up to Ryan, he wants to step back, take a break.

Kat’s crushed and runs to Adam for a shoulder to cry on. His response:

“…Fine, but don’t pull your little ‘I’m too sad and rejected to call Adam’ routine like you did last night. I want details on this one. Train wrecks like this don’t happen everyday you know.”

She should have known he’d pull the tough love thing.

“Good Lord, you need a hobby.”

Kat’s not a quitter, she’s a fighter and she wants Ryan!

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“Gloves on, pride off.”

I started reading this at about 9 P.M. on a Friday night. I can stay up later reading then. I was so engrossed I had no idea what time it was when I turned out the light. Got up early Saturday, my favorite time for reading, made a cup of hot tea at 5;30 A.M. and started right back in. I had to keep heating up my tea because I forgot to drink it.

If this book was a television show, I’d tag it as a ‘sit’ com, but actually it had me almost rolling on the ‘floor.’ I kid you not.

Five Stars for Kat Fight!

Wicked funny and out and out delightful.

 

 Giveaway

(2) Print copies of KAT FIGHT – US/Canada only ~ Two e-books INT

To enter, click the rafflecopter link below

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Kat Fight Tour Schedule

About the author

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A graduate of Purdue University, Dina Silver has spent the past fifteen years feeding her red wine habit by working as a copywriter in the advertising industry. After seeing the bulk of her professional prose on brochures and direct-mail pieces, she is delighted to have made the transition to novelist. Her debut, One Pink Line, was chosen as a 2012 Top Title by IndieReader and was also a finalist in their 2012 Discovery Awards. Silver lives in Chicago with her husband and son.

Dina Silver |Facebook |Twitter |Pinterest

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This event was organized by AToMR Tours and I’m excited to be a part of it.

J. A. Redmerski just released her new novel, The Edge of Never on Nov. 15th and I have  the book description and a fantastic excerpt for you. Also, you have a chance to win an e-book copy of this New Adult novel.  Details are at the end of the post.

The Edge of Never

Title: THE EDGE OF NEVER

Author: J.A. Redmerski

Release date: November 15, 2012

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Age Group: New Adult

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Special Price: The Edge of Never will be available at a $1.99 promotional price on the release day only (Nov. 15) and will go to regular price on 11/16. You can purchase your copy here .

Book Description:

Twenty-year-old Camryn Bennett had always been one to think out-of-the-box, who knew she wanted something more in life than following the same repetitive patterns and growing old with the same repetitive life story. And she thought that her life was going in the right direction until everything fell apart.

Determined not to dwell on the negative and push forward, Camryn is set to move in with her best friend and plans to start a new job. But after an unexpected night at the hottest club in downtown North Carolina, she makes the ultimate decision to leave the only life she’s ever known, far behind.

With a purse, a cell phone and a small bag with a few necessities, Camryn, with absolutely no direction or purpose boards a Greyhound bus alone and sets out to find herself. What she finds is a guy named Andrew Parrish, someone not so very different from her and who harbors his own dark secrets. But Camryn swore never to let down her walls again. And she vowed never to fall in love.

But with Andrew, Camryn finds herself doing a lot of things she never thought she’d do. He shows her what it’s really like to live out-of-the-box and to give in to her deepest, darkest desires. On their sporadic road-trip he becomes the center of her exciting and daring new life, pulling love and lust and emotion out of her in ways she never imagined possible. But will Andrew’s dark secret push them inseparably together, or tear them completely apart?

Due to sexual content and language, this book is recommended for 17+ – Adult Contemporary Women’s – New Adult Fiction

And here’s the excerpt to give you a little taste of what’s inside.

Pretending

I pull my hand from his and grasp the fabric above my boobs and pull the top up a little so that it feels better in place.

“I love you in that,” he says, “but you have to admit, it’s a distraction for douchebags.”

“Well, I don’t want to walk all the way back to the hotel just to change my top.”

“No, you don’t have to do that,” he says, reaching for my hand again. “But if you want to go to another club, you’re gonna have to do something for me, alright?”

“What?”

“Just pretend you’re my girlfriend,” he says and a little smile spreads across my lips. “At least that way no one will fuck with you, or they’re less likely to try, anyway.”

He pauses and looks at me and says, “Unless you want guys to hit on you?”

It takes no time at all for my head to start shaking. “No. I do not want any guys to hit on me. Innocent flirting, fine—it does wonders for my confidence—but not douchebags.”

“Good, then it’s settled. You’re my sexy girlfriend for the night, which means I get to take you back to the room later and make you squeal a little.” There’s that boyish grin of his again that I love so much.

I’m tingling between the legs now. I swallow hard and play it off by playfully narrowing my eyes at him.

I’m just glad to see his dimples again, as opposed to that wrathful—although incredibly sexy, still—expression that consumed his features moments ago.

“As much as I like it—well, ‘like’ is really putting it lightly—I’m not going to let you do that anymore.”

He looks hurt and a little shocked. “Why not?”

“Because, Andrew, I…well, I just won’t let you—now come here.” I cup my hands around the sides of his neck and pull him toward me.

And then I kiss him softly, letting my lips linger on his afterwards.

“What are you doing?” he says, staring down into my eyes.

I smile sweetly up at him. “I’m getting into character.”

A grin tugs the corners of his lips. He turns me around and locks his arm around my waist as we head toward Bourbon Street.

And now for the giveaway. I have one e-book copy to give away.

Entry is easy. Just leave your email address and answer this question: Do you like love at first sight or a slow blooming romance?

For an additional entry, not required, you can “Like” the author on Facebook here .

Contest ends November 29th.

About JA Redmerski and where to find her:

Author of THE DARKWOODS TRILOGY and DIRTY EDEN, mother, werewolf & zombie fanatic, book addict and a happy hermit obsessed with the Universe. Oh, and AMC’s “The Walking Dead”.

Addictions: Starbucks every morning, trolling Barnes & Noble’s shelves once a week, detesting winter, shopping flea markets and preparing for the collapse of society as we know it. Do I own a tin foil hat? Maybe. :-)

I was born in Arkansas and have lived here most of my life, except the couple of times when I lived in Pennsylvania. I started my first novel at the age of thirteen and have been writing something ever since. Generally, I love characters in life and on paper. I pay attention to people, especially those whose personalities make them different from the rest of us: the drug addict roaming the Laundromat that talks to himself, the young, inattentive mother in the park with the meanest kid on the playground – (the entire cast of ‘Swamp People’) – characters fascinate me and I hope that it shows in my literary work.

Author Links: J.A. Redmerski | Twitter | Facebook

Free Friday and Saturday, November 9th and 10th!

Special Offers by M L Ryan

I loved this book and am thrilled that Book Two will be released soon. So ready for more.

Go here to read my review.

To get your free copy go here .

About the book:

Hailey Parrish is quick-witted, irreverent, and hasn’t had a date in three years. She only wanted an eBook reader because her collection of paperbacks threatened to take over her small living space. Little did she know that the “special offers” that prompted the purchase included much more than a reduced price in exchange for a few ads. The device came pre-loaded with the essence of Sebastian Kess, an erudite womanizer with magical abilities from a parallel dimension. When she inadvertently releases him and he inhabits her body, she finally has a man inside her, just not in the way she imagined. And soon her predicament introduces her to yet another supernatural, the handsome could-be-the-man-of-her-dreams Alex Sunderland. Can Alex and Hailey find a way to return Sebastian to his own body, stay one step ahead of the criminals who want to keep him where he is, and not lose their sense of humor?

For more about M L Ryan and where to find her:

Author’s web site: http://www.coursodondimension.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CoursodonDimension

Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/MLRyan1

Email: MLRyan@coursodondimension.com

GREAT NEWS! Barbara has added a paperback to the giveaway so now there are two chances to win. Everyone already entered will be eligible for this too.

Chosen

The Amish Bloodsucker Trilogy #1

by Barbara Ellen Brink

Chosen (Amish Bloodsucker trilogy, #1)

I  love the cover art for this book.  I just knew it was going to be a fun read, and it was! I mean,  Amish blood sucking vampires, now you know that’s going to be fun!

Jael is The Chosen One. She is descended from a long line of slayers. It’s her duty to save the Loon Lake Amish Community, which has been infiltrated by Bishop and his pack of vampires. He wants her dead before her 16th birthday, when she’ll come into her full slayer abilities.

Her parents, Miriam and Jesse, were forced to leave Minnesota when Miriam discovered she was pregnant. They knew she was carrying the next Chosen One and have been running ever since. Always moving, staying isolated, never in one place too long.

Jael never understood why they lived so far away from everyone, why she was never allowed to have friends over.

Jesse, Jael’s father, has trained her in martial arts and slaying with stakes for as long as she can remember. It’s only recently that she even knew she was Amish and The Chosen.

With the help of her uncle Seth, Jael goes on her first hunt.

Well don’t just sit there….. We have vamps to stake.”

A slow smile turned up his lips and he climbed out too.

Her dad had fashioned her a leather tool belt with enough loops to hold six stakes, two on each side and two in the back. She slipped it on around her waist and filled every loop with a pointy, curved stake. Inside the top of each of her boots she slipped a four-inch blade. She picked up the crossbow. It this isn’t enough firepower……

Could you picture her doing this in a long dress, apron and prayer cap. That would be a hindrance for sure! Luckily her parents don’t make her wear traditional Amish garb.

A quirky thing about The Chosen. They are all born with six toes on one foot. Jael’s parents had hers removed as an infant to disguise who she was. When the vamps are near, her phantom toe gives her a painful warning. This comes in useful.

Brianna is Jael’s best friend and couldn’t be more different.

If lives were fairy tales, Brianna would reign supreme as a Walt Disney princess, while Jael would live in the darker Grimm Brother’s version  where survival meant slaying dragons on a daily basis.

There are rumors going around at school that Jael lives in a commune and is a sister wife. Brianna has seen her bruises and believes she is being abused. A time will come when Jael will have to tell her the truth. But not yet.

Shadow is the “bad boy” personified. The one all mothers warn their daughters about, with a piercing gaze, lanky good looks and  a mouth full of sarcasm. He has an unusual effect on Jael. Not a romantic one, instead his proximity makes her nauseous. It appears there is more to Shadow than meets the eye.

Then there’s Bruno, a huge wolf hound and loyal companion of Jael’s. They seem to have a special connection.  She can get him to do some really fun tricks. He’s also a great deterrent considering he’s the size of a small horse.

Jael’s 16th birthday is coming soon and the vampires are searching high and low for her. Thet need her dead before she comes into her full slayer abilities, while Jael has no clue what the powers will be. She is going to need all the help she can get if she’s going to be ready to go after Bishop and his bloodsuckers.

I really like Jael. Barbara was able to make her a typical teen, with everyday worries and baggage, and also with a secret life as a vampire slayer, and made it believeable and really fun.

The bloodsuckers are nasty, Jael is double tough, her family is fiercely devoted and her friends are loyal.

There are some tender moments in this story and a whole lot of humor. You’d expect that with the title Amish Bloodsuckers! It’s all in good fun, but there is some serious slaying too! Jael didn’t go through all of that training for nothing. I felt some Buffy and Little Red Riding Hood in this story.

Chosen is well written, fast-paced and easy to follow. I like how Barbara was able to keep it simple with so much going on. It could have been complicated, but she feeds you the story in bites that are easy to chew. I’m hungry for more.

        A whole lot of fun!

I’ve just finished reading Shunned – Book Two and will be telling you about it soon. And more news! Book Three is coming very soon.

Excerpt from CHOSEN:

“Jael?” Brianna was watching her with a puzzled expression on her face. “Are you all right? You seem sort of out-of-it.” She closed her locker, her history book in the crook of her arm.

“Yeah, just tired. Up late last night,” Jael said, dropping her book bag in the bottom of her locker and sliding out the book she needed for first class – Trigonometry. Ick. She’d rather smell a rotting corpse on a warm night than solve math problems.

“Okay…well… I’ll see you later, right?” She backed up a couple of steps, holding her gaze as though Jael would disappear again as soon as she let her out of her sight.

“Sure.”

Brianna smiled, then turned and hurried down the hall toward Mr. Stanton’s history class. Jael watched her go, feeling as though she was losing the only real friend she’d ever had, and there was nothing she could do about it. She saw Marti stop Brianna outside the history classroom to say something and then they both laughed and went into class together.

Jael slammed her locker shut and twisted the combination lock. She couldn’t go on this way much longer. Kicking vampire butts at night and pretending to be an average girl during the day was just taking too much out of her. She wasn’t cut out to live a double life. She wanted to be normal. If only she could be like Brianna, have parents that were nerdy scientists, a baby brother who was already taking college classes cause he tested out of third grade and was considered a genius. Okay, maybe Brianna’s family wasn’t that “normal” but still.

“Hey, Jael,” a male voice whispered close to her ear.

She twisted around and was a tenth of a second from crushing the guy’s windpipe with the heel of her hand when she realized it was just Lyle standing there. She dropped her arms and blew out a confused breath.

“You scared me,” she lied, a flimsy excuse for cover.

“Sorry.” He backed up a step, as though sensing his near demise. “Just wanted to see if you were coming to the exhibition game against the Redville Scorpions tonight. Some of us are going out afterwards for burgers. Thought you might like to come along. Hang out. Have some fun.” He narrowed his eyes. “You live way out in the desert somewhere, don’t you? Like in a commune or something?”

“What?”

“It’s cool. I don’t mind.” He smiled, and stepped closer, leaning in against the lockers with one hand. A wave of minty fresh breath wafted over her. He was always sucking on those Altoids. Curiously strong indeed.

“Good to know,” she said, basking in the warmth of his gaze. The blonde basketball star could believe she lived in a cave in Afghanistan if he wanted to, as long as he looked at her like that.

“So…?” He leaned closer, pinning her against the lockers with the heat of his eyes and another wave of peppermint.

She smiled back. “I was thinking about coming to the game.”

“Cool. I’ll see you tonight then,” he said, and pushed off from the locker. He winked and walked away to join a group of guys waiting at the end of the hall.

Her arms and legs felt paralyzed as though she’d been shot with a tranquilizer dart. At least how she imagined it would feel to be shot with a tranquilizer dart. She forced herself to move, to look away from the group of guys and walk in the opposite direction. She couldn’t let Lyle know that he set her heart racing just by speaking to her and that her skin tingled with electricity at his proximity. He would think she was some crazy, stalker girl – someone to avoid, not date.

The bell rang as she slowly moved toward the trigonometry room. Her legs refused to hurry, regardless of being tardy. She paused outside the door, listening to the sound of voices and laughter and scraping chairs as kids settled down for class. Mr. Winchester’s gruffy baritone rang out calling for attention.

Jael suddenly realized the predicament she’d shoved herself into. Since when had she ever thought about going to a game, much less believe her parents would allow her to be out of their sight that long? She blew out a frustrated breath. Since a hot guy asked her out on a date–that’s when. She had to get into town for the game tonight. It was her only chance to be normal. If it were up to her parents and Uncle Seth, the only socializing she’d ever do would be with undead creatures in the dark of night.

This was a once in a lifetime. She never thought Lyle would give her the time of day much less invite her out for burgers. Okay, maybe it wasn’t a real date; just a group thing. But it was a start.

Barabara has given me one e-book of Chosen to giveaway!

Bonus! Barbara is also giving away a paperback copy! For those who have already enterewd, you’re eligible to win this also!

It’s east to enter. Just leave your email address and answer this question: “What would you use to kill an Amish vampire?”

Giveaway ends November 20th.

Book Description

Chosen (Book One)

The Amish Bloodsuckers Trilogy

With tongue firmly in cheek and genuine Amish-made stakes at hand, The Amish Bloodsucker Trilogy sets off like a bat in the belfry. Jael the vampire slayer is ready to kick some serious bloodsucker butt. Seriously.

Move over Buffy – there’s a new slayer in town! Raised in the desert of Nevada, and destined for the Minnesota Loon Lake Amish Community, Jael Shetler is the Chosen One.

Trained by her uncle and father in twenty-one different forms of hand-to-hand combat – she also throws a knife with the speed of a bullet, and is accurate to within two centimeters of a cold, dead heart with her crossbow – she is a bloodsucker’s worst nightmare.

Her parents, forced to leave their plain and simple upbringing to escape the clutches of the new Bishop – an ancient and powerful vampire with plans to use the Amish Community as his own personal Jamba Juice – raise and train their daughter to continue the fight begun thousands of years earlier by another Jael, and to fulfill the prophecy in the Book of the Shunned.

Soon Jael is turning sweet sixteen and then … all hell will break loose.

Barbara Ellen Brink is a multi-published author of mystery and suspense. She lives with her husband and their two mutts in the great state of Minnesota where mosquitoes are the only bloodsuckers she’s actually ever seen. This is Barbara’s first foray into the world of Amish and Vampires – both of which scare her – but it isn’t the last. The 2nd book in The Amish Bloodsuckers Trilogy – SHUNNED – is now available. The 3rd book – RECKONING – will be available for Thanksgiving!

CHOSEN is available now in kindle and paperback until Dec 31st and then will be available in all ebook formats as well.

Purchase CHOSEN here:

Createspace paperback https://www.createspace.com/4032836

Amazon kindle/paperback http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009JYT3B0

Purchase SHUNNED here:

Createspace paperback https://www.createspace.com/4041332

Amazon kindle/paperback http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009VQIXF8

Barnes & Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shunned-barbara-ellen-brink/1113600422?ean=2940015877427

Author Website/blog: http://www.barbaraellenbrink.com

Amish Bloodsuckers website: http://www.amishvampireslayer.moonfruit.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/BarbaraEllenBrink

Twitter: BarbaraEBrink

You can purchase these books by clicking on the images below.

Time to announce the winners!

I can’t believe how incredible the response has been! Huge thanks to everyone for your comments. I really enjoyed reading them. Also, I want to thank M. L. Ryan for allowing me to host this awesome giveaway and for a really good story.

The winners of Special Offers are:

Winner of Paperback: Christina

Winner of e-book: Stephanie Grego

Winner of e-book: Penumbra

Congratulations!

I have emailed the winners and forwarded their information to the author. She will contact you about your prizes!

You can purchase Special Offers by clicking on the image below or in the left hand sidebar.

I just love a movie that’s got campy fun, lots of one-liners, and some really grotesque and creepy parts.

One of my favorites is

Here are some of my favorite scenes!

This poor guy doesn’t have a clue. He goes from couch potato to spider slurpie in seconds!

Attention all shoppers!

The shoppers after the announcement!

Can you see me?

Can you see me now?

Do I look fat?

The trick is to not fall off guys!

Almost got it. Just a little more.

Got any doughnuts?

I really can’t stand spiders, believe it or not. But this movie was so fun and had so many great actors in it. This is only a small part of my list of favorite scenes. The trapdoor spiders gave me nightmares and the ones sliding down the phone lines made me crack up. You could here the spiders sometimes. Almost like they were talking. It was just a great big funfest.

Special Offers by M. L. Ryan

Special Offers Cover

I was curious about this story after reading the synopsis. I don’t usually use one in my reviews but I’ll let you read this one.


Synopsis from Goodreads

Hailey Parrish is quick-witted, irreverent, and hasn’t had a date in three years. She only wanted an eBook reader because her collection of paperbacks threatened to take over her small living space. Little did she know that the “special offers” that prompted the purchase included much more than a reduced price in exchange for a few ads. The device came pre-loaded with the essence of Sebastian Kess, an erudite womanizer with magical abilities from a parallel dimension. When she inadvertently releases him and he inhabits her body, she finally has a man inside her, just not in the way she imagined. And soon her predicament introduces her to yet another supernatural, the handsome could-be-the-man-of-her-dreams Alex Sunderland. Can Alex and Hailey find a way to return Sebastian to his own body, stay one step ahead of the criminals who want to keep him where he is, and not lose their sense of humor?

It’s something new for me and naturally I had to read Special Offers. I really like the title. It ties in neatly with the book.

The first thing that popped into my head when I read it was a genie in a magic lamp!

magic lamp photo: A magic lamp topmaqnipulationmagik.jpg

I thought, Wow, a new take for an old tale. I thought it was quite creative. Don’t know if that was the authors basis, but it works for me.

From the beginning I knew I liked Hailey. She is so normal and genuine. I could relate to her, right down to her eating habits. I too stand at the kitchen sink and chow down sometimes. When you are cooking for one, why make a mess at the table to clean up. And her daily routines. I also feel like a robot going through the motions half awake.

Her life is anything but routine when she purchases the Kindle and presses the on button. It came fully loaded. Loaded with the essence, or spirit, of Sebastian, a Coursodon from another dimension. And now he’s inside her. She can hear him in her head.

Along comes Alex. He’s another Coursodon and he has been tracking Sebastian, trying to return him to his body. He comes clean about who and what he is to Hailey. He’ll be needing her help. This part made me laugh!

I knew you were too good  looking to be in insurance,” I remarked flippantly and he shot me a reproachful glare. “Hey, when I get nervous, the smart-ass just comes cascading out of my mouth,” I shrugged. “It’s a character flaw. Get over it.”

What Hailey lacks in size, she makes up for with her snarky, tough as nails attitude.  I ‘d enjoy hanging with her.

Sebastian and Alex can communicate with each other when Alex is in physical contact with Hailey. They will be holding hands a lot. The plan is to find where Sebastian’s body has been taken, and return his essence to it. That means Hailey will have to be present.

Hailey adjusts to having Sebastian in her head, but she doesn’t have to like it. He is a very sexual male and his frustrations are very front and center at times.  Hailey’s have none of his suggestion that she bed someone to satisfy his needs. She’s not going to be his “psychic f!!k buddie.”

Hailey is slow in trusting Alex. She had a shitty marriage with a low down cheating husband and her heart took a major hit. She is very attracted to Alex, but will take it slow and easy. I like how the author keeps the heat of their relationship for the end. I thoroughly enjoyed the getting to know you parts.

My connection to Alex was gradual, but became very strong near the end. His revelations to Hailey made me want to hug him. And this scene is just to heart melting:

Alex was already in my bed under the covers, and I paused for a moment when I saw he had claimed the left side. Since as far back as I can remember, I’ve always slept on the left side of any bed bigger than a twin. It’s probably just habit, and after my initial hesitation, I started over to the opposite side, because, really, what’s the big deal about one side over another? As I pulled back the covers, however, Alex stopped me.

“Wait,” he said as he scooted over to his right. “I was just warming up your side for you.”

He held up the covers in the spot he had just vacated and I dutifully moved around the bed and climbed in. The sheets were, indeed, warm and cozy, a far cry from the chilliness that winter usually imparts to bedding.


That is the most considerate thing anyone has ever done for me,” I said softly. “I really don’t deserve you.”

Alex is a keeper.

As their feelings for each grow so does the danger and intrigue. Sebastian’s body is being held as a trophy by his nemesis and it won’t be easy to get it back.

Thumbs up to Special Offers. M. L. Ryan has a winner for originality and her quality of writing. She took what could have been heavy reading and made it light and fun.  Throughout the book, tidbits of everyday things in life made it very real.

And the comedy kept me laughing. I had many laugh out loud moments, like when Hailey teases Sebastian with a view of her sexy friend Rachel, and about her job – she milks Chinchillas. And the back and forth with Sebastian, in her head, is too funny!

Special Offers came along at a low point, and it was a perfect cure for my blues. It will make you laugh and smile, cheering you up.

Here are some scenes I really cracked up at:

“By the way, how did you get my number?”

“Men’s bathroom wall, second stall,” he stated matter-of-factly.

“Excuse me?”

“Just trying to lighten the mood…”

And this one:

I really had enough of Sebastian at the moment. “Hey Sebastard,” I sputtered. “Yumago! Do prdele! Haista paska! Jabiesz jeze! Foda-se!”

“What was all that?”

I stood and huffed out, Korean, Czech, Finnish, Polish and Portugese!”

I started this book with a peek. Next thing I knew I was on Chapter 4. I fell asleep reading it the first night. Couldn’t stay awake. Tried to finish it the next night, and so tired from work I fell asleep again. Getting frustrated! I had a surprise day off the next morning and finished it while my son was in the dentist’s chair. People were giving me funny looks when I chuckled. I ended up talking to two women in the waiting room, and they said they were going to check it out.

You should check it out too. It’s a perfect book to lighten your mood and make you smile.

  I loved it and so did my Kindle!

5 STARS

The girl on the cover is the perfect choice to represent Hailey. I have two men who popped into my head to represent Sebastian and Alex.

Here is Alex

And here is Sebastian

Melissa has sent me a picture of who she sees Alex as!

I’m excited to tell you that M L Ryan has accepted my request for an interview and she’s also offering one paperback and two e-books for a giveaway!!

I’m so happy to have you here today Melissa! I loved Special Offers and I want everyone to get to know the author behind the story. Let’s get started shall we?

1) What “possessed” you to write this story and where did the idea come from?

*Laughing*  I had just purchased my full-priced Kindle when I saw Amazon was selling less expensive versions that came with “special offers.”  For some reason, my warped brain thought it would be amusing if what made the cheaper Kindles special was that they came with some fiendish spirit.  Originally, I imagined something like a havoc-wrecking poltergeist, but that quickly changed into the annoying, yet ingratiating Sebastian Kess.

2) I laughed so much reading Special Offers and fell in love with Hailey. Was it your plan all along for her to be so funny, and does she resemble you in any way?

 When it comes to snark, Hailey and I have a lot in common.  No matter what’s happening – good or bad – I seem to always find something humorous in the situation (often to the consternation of those around me).  Because humor is so much a part of who I am, I don’t think I could write something without it.  Aside from that, Hailey and I share the same out-of-control hair, a love of tequila and the tendency to swear like a sailor.

3) Where did the idea for Coursodons come from? I’m always curious when I discover new beings.

 The magically-inclined folks from a parallel dimension developed easily from the main premise that Hailey’s eBook Reader came with a little something extra.  It didn’t make sense for the inhabitant to be a vamp or a werewolf, and a demon or a witch wasn’t exactly right either.  So, I came up with a whole new world instead.  I’m really enjoying the world-building, it’s one of the most satisfying parts of the process.

4) I loved the ending and I’m so happy this is going to be a series. Can you tell us when we might expect book two and how many books there may be in the series?

 The second book should be out in another month or so.  I have ideas for five books in this series, and hopefully I will get a chance to write them!  Unfortunately, the day-job tends to get in the way.

5) Your book has travelers from other dimensions in it and it’s made me curious. Do you like to travel and if you could go any place you wanted, where would it be?

 I love to be someplace different, but I despise traveling. If I could just snap my fingers and instantly be transported, I’d be hopping all over the world.  The thought of flying, however, makes me crazy.  I do it, but it’s a struggle every time.  That said, I’ve always wanted to go to Nepal.  I think it’s because I like the sound of Katmandu.

6) Do you prefer reading print or digital books and what kind of e-reader do you have?

 I have a Kindle, and when I first got it, I was concerned that I would miss the feel of a real book.  Was I wrong!  I love almost everything about the eBook format; the ease of obtaining books, the ability to change the font size, having thousands of books crammed into one, compact device.  The one aspect that annoys me, however, is how traditional publishers charge the same amount for an eBook as for a print book.  Really?  What a rip-off.

7) You mentioned you adopted two desert tortoises. Did you name them, and if so, how did you choose their names? I love turtles.

 I inherited my mother’s tortoises when she moved to a much smaller home, so they came pre-named.  Spurge – she’s 30 years old – got her name because she loves to munch on the eponymous weed which grows abundantly here.  Dunny, 25, got his moniker because my mother thought another tortoise was “redundant”.  They have very distinct personalities – Spurge comes when she’s called and Dunny loves to climb.  Because they are so long-lived, I expect that one day,  my son will inherit them from me.

 

Five fun shorts!

1) If you could be any creature in the sea, what would you be? 

A nudibranch.  They have such beautiful colors.

 2) What is your favorite movie to watch on Halloween? 

I love the original Bela Lugosi Dracula movies.  Something about the bad acting and the lack of color makes them really creepy.

 3) If you could have dinner with a sexy movie actor, who would you choose?

  Ryan Reynolds.  He’s sexy and funny.

 4) Are you an early riser or do you hit the snooze button?

I hate getting up. That’s where the comment in Special Offers – If god wanted us to get up when it was dark out, he wouldn’t have given us eyelids – came from.

 5) What is your birthstone? 

Topaz.

Thanks so much for doing this interview with me Melissa. It’s been really fun getting to know you. And a huge thank you for allowing me to host this giveaway.

To Enter The Giveaway

For todays giveaway there will be three winners. I have one paperback and two e-books of Special Offers to giveaway!

Entry is easy. Just leave your email address along with the answer to this question: Who would you like to find in your Kindle?

While it’s not required, it makes me smile when you follow me on twitter and my blog. You can find Melissa’s contacts below. Thanks so much and good luck everyone!

This contest ends on November 1st.

You can purchase Special Offers by clicking on the image below.

Other Purchase links:

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/131930

Barnes and Noble:  http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/special-offers-ml-ryan/1109231583?ean=2940033051014

CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/3940235

For more about M L Ryan and where to find her:

Author’s web site: http://www.coursodondimension.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CoursodonDimension

Twitter:  @MLRyan1

Email: MLRyan@coursodondimension.com