Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Vampire Joe ~ A Humorous Urban Fantasy by Jimmie Christo

Posted: March 13, 2021 in giveaways, Humor, urban fantasy
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Vampire Joe
by Jimmie Christo
Genre: Humorous Urban Fantasy
Do you even know how much of a pain becoming a vampire is?
All Joe ever wanted was to shoot up some smack, sit in his apartment, listen to some Nick Cave and be left the hell alone.
Now he has to cope with his addictions, his dealer, a new girlfriend,, the mafia, the cops, his christian minister AND an unquenchable thirst for human blood.
How the hell does life get harder AFTER you die!?
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Review from the 28th Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards:
There was absolutely nothing conventional about this novel or its author. The author bio is unique – I’ve never encountered something so demeaning yet at the same time funny and strangely endearing. And as for the book? This is a very different take on the vampire theme as we encounter a no-good, drug-addicted lay-about gain immortality and bring other equally antisocial undesirables into the fold. You really want to despise the main character for his attitude, drug abuse, filthy language, squalid and nasty lifestyle and sexism – I wanted to hate him on sight, yet the author manages to draw you into his world and actually start pulling for him. I didn’t even want to read any more at one point as the excessive use of foul language and vulgarity seemed gratuitous. But then my eyes and ears have witnessed much worse, including Trainspotting, and that was a masterpiece. So the author is a skillful writer in the way he manages to drag you kicking and screaming into the story and start actually liking and sympathizing with some of the people. Jimmie Christo is a master at character development humanizing the most deplorably diabolically sick characters. I found myself happily reading right through to the end, tightly clutching my pearls as I eagerly flipped through the pages. The dialogue is well-written, vulgarities and all, the plot is face-paced, the cover is striking in its simplicity, and overall a good read – it’s one I definitely won’t forget!
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Born in Carlton in 1979, Jimmie Christo is an author of the lowest calibre.
A criminal since birth (he stole his mother’s heart), he grew in the care of the state until he was 18, whereby said state awarded him the Keys to the Universe (citation needed) after imparting no life skills.
He has literally been using the word literally literally, literally all his life (figuratively speaking) and is a pain in the arse most of the time.
He spent four years in jail for crimes he didn’t really commit to, namely trafficking (We believe the plan was to consume the whole volume in it’s entirety himself, although it was too large an amount for anyone not completely ravaged by addiction to comprehend as such), posession, weapons, burglary and being a not very nice person.
While incarcerated at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, determined to get more out of them than they took from him, he wrote a whole bunch of books and movies. Also, he may have changed his outlook on his existence. That said, he is not returning the Keys.
Vampire Joe is his first published work, read by eleven people to critical acclaim. Everyone else who read it said it was vile rubbish.
He has also written YA sci fi and children’s novels, understandably under a much nicer alter ego, keeping grown up stuff like Joe separate.
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Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!
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a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

The Friday 56 #237 ~ Breakfast At Cannibal Joe’s

Posted: January 22, 2021 in Humor, Mystery, The Friday 56
Tags: , ,
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Welcome to The Friday 56 hosted by Freda’s Voice.

 

This is a really fun meme!

The only rules are to grab a book (any book), turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader and find a sentence or a few (no spoilers) that grabs you and post it.

Then go over to Freda’s Voice and leave your link so we can visit your 56!

My 56 for this week is from:

Breakfast At Cannibal Joe’s

  by Jay Spencer Green

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Genre: Humor / Mystery

From page 56 in the paperback.

… you know how hospitals have those signs at every junction and those color-coded lines inlaid into the floor that your meant to follow to your desired location? Well, the National Rehabilitation Hospital doesn’t have any of those. It would rather you wander around fruitlessly. I’m surprised there isn’t a sign outside that says “Get Lost.” Which is what I did. For 45 minutes.

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Synopsis

You’re not assigned to oversee a CIA front company in Dublin unless you screwed up royally—and Joe Chambers did. If he didn’t know so much about so many people, the CIA would probably terminate him—possibly in both senses of the word. Instead, he’s stuck managing Whetstone Publishing while his stateside boss comes up with ever more daft ways to maximize profits.

But Joe’s frustration is only just beginning. An MI6 agent keeps breaking into his apartment and stealing his booze, presumably revenge for blowing the guy’s cover in Athens; his publishing assistant’s too smart for her own good; and with head office’s cost-cutting measures hitting new highs of lunacy, he might need to start selling drugs or—God forbid!—move back to the States. Oh, and he’s got a tapeworm named Steve happily curled up in his guts.

A raucous mix of double crosses, brothels, triple crosses, and cocktail recipes, Breakfast at Cannibal Joe’s is a dark and twisted tale that fans of Vonnegut, Heller, and Hunter S. Thompson should love.

Voted No. 6 in the Top 50 Indie Books of 2015. Winner of Lord of the Book Covers 2015.

Amazon

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

You can find a list of my reviews HERE.

For a list of free eBooks go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Spring At The Little Duck Pond Cafe ~ Excerpt and Giveaway

Posted: January 13, 2020 in giveaways, Humor, Novella, Romance
Tags: , , ,
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Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for Spring At The Little Duck Pond Cafe organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.

I have a fun excerpt to share with you.

And Rosie Green will be awarding a $25 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Don’t forget to enter!

And be sure to click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

 

Spring at The Little Duck Pond Cafe: (Little Duck Pond Cafe, Book 1) by [Green, Rosie]

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Synopsis

Fleeing from a romance gone wrong, Ellie Farmer arrives in the pretty village of Sunnybrook, hoping for a brand new start that most definitely does not include love!

Following an unscheduled soak in the village duck pond, she meets Sylvia, who runs the Little Duck Pond Cafe. Renting the flat above the cafe seems like the answer to Ellie’s prayers. It’s only for six months, which will give her time to sort out her life, far away from cheating boyfriend Richard.

But is running away from your past ever really the answer?

Clashing with the mysterious and brooding Zak Chamberlain, an author with a bad case of writer’s block, is definitely not what Ellie needs right now. And then there’s Sylvia, who’s clinging so hard to her past, she’s in danger of losing the quaint but run-down cafe altogether.

Can Ellie find the answers she desperately needs in Sunnybrook? And will she be able to help save Sylvia’s Little Duck Pond Cafe from closure?

 Enjoy this peek inside:

I have never climbed a tree in my life.

But I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

It’s a gaspingly cold mid-January morning with an ice-blue sky overhead – not exactly the ideal conditions in which to be lurking on the pavement outside a stranger’s house, nervously eyeing up the oak tree in their garden.

Camera gripped in my freezing hands, I stamp my feet and blow out misty breath as I psyche myself up to be bold. I’ve driven sixty miles from Newtown, where I live, to the pretty, chocolate-box village of Sunnybrook in Surrey – with the ultimate goal of climbing this very tree and taking photos of the view from up there.

The tree is almost exactly how I pictured it in my imagination – old and gnarled with broad, evenly-spaced branches. My eye homes in on one branch in particular. It reaches out to the left, a little over six feet from the ground; the perfect place to sit and gaze out over the village green and the duck pond. (As I knew it would be.)

Tears fill my eyes. But I’m smiling, too.

It’s all in a good cause.

Stop dithering and just do it!

When I push it open, the garden gate swings inwards without creaking and the windows remain blank. I drop my bag by the gate and head for the tree.

It’s amazing how fear can give you almost super-human powers. Under normal circumstances, I’d need someone to give me a bunk-up into this tree. But today, with adrenalin pumping through my system, I manage to swing myself up there with no problems at all . . .

About Author Rosie Green:

Rosie has been scribbling stories ever since she was little.

Back then, they were rip-roaring adventure tales with a young heroine in perilous danger of falling off a cliff or being tied up by ‘the baddies’.

Thankfully, Rosie has moved on somewhat, and now much prefers to write romantic comedies that melt your heart and make you smile, with really not much perilous danger at all – unless you count the heroine losing her heart in love.

Spring at the Little Duck Pond Café is the first in Rosie’s brand new series of novellas centred around life in a village café. Each novella is a ‘stand-alone’ read.

You can connect with Rosie Green on Twitter / Amazon

Purchase on Amazon

NOTE: Book is free at time of posting!

“Readers will be able to read the whole series on Kindle Unlimited”

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GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Dead & Busy Series by Kfir Luzzatto ~ Spotlight and Giveaway

Posted: November 28, 2019 in giveaways, Humor, Mystery, Supernatural
Tags: , , ,
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Accidental Lazarus
Dead & Busy Episode 1
by Kfir Luzzatto
Genre: Humorous Noir, Supernatural Mystery
It is sort of annoying having dead people dropping by at all hours… 
A paranormal detective like Dave Callaghan has already seen everything, but he never expected to find a presumed dead mobster drinking scotch in his armchair. He is definitely unhappy when he (it?) engages him to find out who shot him. But the worse is yet to come; Dave’s girlfriend gets involved and the real trouble begins.
Episode 1 of the DEAD & BUSY series will keep you laughing to the (bitter) end.
“Dave Callaghan is not here to bring you profound, life-changing thoughts; only quick, unadulterated fun.”
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Phantom Lover
Dead & Busy Episode 2
 
A SEXY ECTOPLASMIC HOOKER
Why Do All These Deadies Keep Flocking Around Dave?
“It was bad enough, I can assure you, finding a half-naked ectoplasm sitting at my desk, but she had to talk nonsense too . . .”
Dave Callaghan is used to having ghosts drop by uninvited at all hours. But this time he is in for a new experience, and you must get ready for a good laugh!
Episode 2 of the DEAD & BUSY series – the one with the hooker.
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Mice
Dead & Busy Episode 3
TALKING MICE ON YOUR BED
A Mouse That Keeps Reciting Poetry to You, Is a Pest
When white mice plague a short-tempered mobster, he hires Dave Callaghan to find out where they are coming from. The mobster wants to know why the mice wake him up in the middle of the night to recite “Mary had a little lamb” to him.
Dave is used to dealing with ghosts of every description, but this time he is facing a complex conspiracy that involves the government and a lascivious ghost.
Episode 3 of the DEAD & BUSY series – the one with the Aussie ghost sailor.
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The Accountant
Dead & Busy Book 4
HOW TO ELOPE WITH A GHOST
In Which the Accountant Disappears With the Bank Codes
What can be more maddening for a businessman, than to have his trusted accountant disappear with all the bank access codes? Well, discovering that he has eloped with the ghost of a prostitute surely makes it worse.
The need to walk into a ghostly brothel doesn’t put Dave off. He even befriends one of the girls there and fun is had by all.
Episode 4 of the DEAD & BUSY series – the one with the little ghostly whorehouse.
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Kfir Luzzatto is the author of eight novels, several short stories and six non-fiction books. Kfir was born and raised in Italy, and moved to Israel as a teenager. He acquired the love for the English language from his father, a former U.S. soldier, a voracious reader, and a prolific writer. He holds a PhD in chemical engineering and works as a patent attorney. In pursuit of his interest in the mind-body connection, Kfir was certified as a Clinical Hypnotherapist by the Anglo European College of Therapeutic Hypnosis.
Kfir is an HWA (Horror Writers Association) and ITW (International Thriller Writers) member.
Amazon gift cards
Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!
 
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

You can find a list of my reviews HERE.

For a list of free eBooks go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Spotlight and Giveaway ~ You’ve Been Volunteered by Laurie Gelman

Posted: July 25, 2019 in giveaways, Humor
Tags: ,
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Laurie Gelman

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You’ve Been Volunteered

A Class Mom Novel

by Laurie Gelman

Laurie Gelman
You’ve Been Volunteered: A Class Mom Novel
Humorous Fiction
2nd in Series
Henry Holt and Co. (July 23, 2019)
Hardcover: 288 pages
ISBN-10: 1250301858
ISBN-13: 978-1250301857
Digital ASIN: B07HLZH7BH

In the eagerly anticipated follow-up to Laurie Gelman’s “irreverent and hilarious” (The New York Post) hit Class Mom, brash, lovable Jen Dixon is back with a new class and her work cut out for her

If you’ve ever been a room parent or school volunteer, Jen Dixon is your hero. She says what every class mom is really thinking, whether in her notoriously frank emails or standup-worthy interactions with the micromanaging PTA President and the gamut of difficult parents. Luckily, she has the charm and wit to get away with it—most of the time. Jen is sassier than ever but dealing with a whole new set of challenges, in the world of parental politics and at home.

She’s been roped into room-parenting yet again, for her son Max’s third grade class, but as her husband buries himself in work, her older daughters navigate adulthood, and Jen’s own aging parents start to need some parenting themselves, Jen gets pulled in more directions than any one mom, or superhero, can handle.

Refreshingly down-to-earth and brimming with warmth, Dixon’s next chapter will keep you turning the pages to find out what’s really going on under the veneer of polite parent interactions, and have you laughing along with her the whole way.

About Author Laurie Gelman

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Laurie Gelman

Laurie Gelman was born and raised in the Great White North. She spent twenty-five years as a broadcaster in both Canada and the United States before trying her hand at writing novels. The author of Class Mom, Laurie has appeared on Live With Ryan and Kelly, Watch What Happens Live, and The Talk, among others. She lives in New York City with her husband, Michael Gelman, and two teenage daughters.

Author Links: Twitter / Instagram

Purchase Links – Amazon – Barnes & Noble – Kobo – IndieBound – Google Play 

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GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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TOUR PARTICIPANTS

July 22 – Books Direct -SPOTLIGHT

July 23 – Celticlady’s Reviews – SPOTLIGHT

July 24 – T’s Stuff – SPOTLIGHT

July 25 – FUONLYKNEW – SPOTLIGHT

July 26 – MJB Reviewers – REVIEW

July 27 – Laura’s Interests – REVIEW

July 28 – Literary Gold – SPOTLIGHT

July 29 – I’m All About Books – SPOTLIGHT

July 29 – eBook Addicts – SPOTLIGHT

July 30 – Rosepoint Publishing – REVIEW

July 31 – That’s What She’s Reading – REVIEW

August 1 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – REVIEW  

August 2 – Bibliophile Reviews – REVIEW

Have you signed up to be a Tour Host?

Click Here Find Details and Sign Up Today!

 

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Cars, Coffee And A Slightly Used Casket by K.C. Hilton ~ Tour and Giveaway

Posted: September 12, 2018 in giveaways, Humor
Tags: , ,
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Cars, Coffee, and a Slightly Used Casket
Julia Karr Book 2
by K.C. Hilton
Genre: Humor, Satire
 
**Recipient of the 2018 Readers’ Favorite Finalist Award!**
Our favorite car dealer is back, kicking ass and taking names, and she’s
just as fabulous as ever.
Julia Karr is a used car lot owner and she isn’t expecting an invitation to
the popularity pool. Her business is drowning with past due accounts,
difficult customers and crazy repossessions. In order to get the
vacation of her dreams, Julia makes a deal with her husband.
After catching a burglar, tackling a customer, and looking down the barrel
of a gun, it’s clear to this feisty car dealer that her vacation may
be harder to achieve than she thought. Daily chaos drives Julia to
eat more chocolate, buy more wine, and prepare for the afterlife. She
could blame it on the contractor, the cheap casket, or a naked
friend, but she’d rather blame it on the car lot.
Author C.J. Anaya — Julia Karr is the Stephanie Plum of car dealers.
Can easily be read as a standalone!
 
 
Cars, Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet
Julia Karr Book 1
 
If you deal with customers day after day who drive you insane, give you
reasons to drink alcohol, or make you want to quit your job, this
book is definitely for you.
A chaotic and hilarious portrait of a used car lot owner, Julia Karr.
Her feisty attitude and fearless approach to managing a business, how
it affects her home life and dealings with customers will have you
scratching your head about humanity.
Author C.J. Anaya — Julia Karr is the Stephanie Plum of car dealers.
Cars,  Coffee, and a Badass Ninja Toilet (Julia Karr Series) by K.C. Hilton
is a great addition to books with strong female lead characters who
work hard, love their family, deal with outrageous people on a daily
basis and try to live a normal life.
Can easily be read as a standalone!
 
K.C. is a wife, mother and manages the family business. K.C.’s husband
refers to her as Hobbit size and claims that she is “nuttier than a
fruit cake.”
She owns a complete set of pink tools, believes
in aliens and secretly wants to become a badass ninja. In her spare
time, she can be found daydreaming about leaving work early to eat
chocolate and drink wine. Sometimes her dreams come true.
 
 
Follow the tour HERE
for exclusive content and a giveaway!
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 
 

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Teaser Tuesday #240 ~ Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse

Posted: June 19, 2018 in horror, Humor, Teaser Tuesdays
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Welcome to Teaser Tuesday hosted by Ambrosia  @ The Purple Booker.

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read.
• Open to a random page.
•Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

 

My Teaser for this week is from

Celebrity Chef  Zombie Apocalypse

by Jack Strange

30120566

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Genre: Horror / Humor

  Teaser from 57% in the eBook.

The reflection looking back at him wasn’t his own reflection, it was the reflection of a cat – an ugly, ginger brute with stripes and an evil scowl on its half-mad face.

Before too long, Sydney Bartholomew, the notorious cat-hater of Notting Hill, was a cat-hater no more. He’d become a vicious sex-crazed ginger tomcat desperate for totty and food.

This scene was kind of gross but hilarious. He turns into a cat and takes on all of the characteristics of a horny zombie cat.

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Synopsis

Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse tells the story of the dead celebrity chef Floyd Rampant, who rises from his grave aiming to create a zombie army of chefs who will rule the world, using the human species as the main ingredient in their cordon bleu meals.

CCZA, as it’s known for short, has a cast of unforgettable characters, most of whom meet with gruesome ends. The action begins in Croydon, moves to London, and reaches its explosive climax in the author’s home town of Huddersfield.

Part horror story, part political and social satire, it gives the reader a fast-paced entrée of dread, a main course of panic and a dessert of distress.

It is dark, original, and so funny it should carry a government health warning.

This smart, witty and profound modern day classic works on many levels.

Amazon

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How about you? Got a tease? Tell me!

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE

I am an Amazon Affiliate. Product images are linked.

Bacon Pie ~ Release Day Blitz and Giveaway

Posted: April 13, 2018 in giveaways, Humor, Release day, Romance, YA
Tags: , , ,
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I am so excited that BACON PIE by Candace Robinson & Gerardo Delgadillo is available now and that I get to share the news!
 
If you haven’t yet heard about this wonderful book by Authors Candace Robinson & Gerardo Delgadillo , be sure to check out all the details below.
 
This blitz also includes a giveaway for a $25 Amazon Gift Card courtesy of Candace Robinson & Gerardo
Delgadillo. and Rockstar Book Tours. So if you’d like a chance to win, enter in the Rafflecopter at the bottom of this post.
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About The Book:
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Title: BACON PIE
Author: Candace Robinson & Gerardo Delgadillo
Pub. Date: April 13, 2018
Publisher: Evernight Teen
Formats: Paperback, eBook
Pages: 314
Find it: Amazon, B&N, iBooks, Goodreads
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Lia Abbie has the easy life—kicking it back with old school video games,
hanging out with her best friend Barnabas, and alternating her living schedule between the apartments of her two dads and her mom.

Kiev Jimenez is a theater geek who loves him some Shakespeare and taking care
of his pet armadillo. He has one set goal in life: obtaining the role of
Horatio for the Hamlet school play.

When a showdown between Lia and Kiev lands them in the principal’s office,
they’re forced into volunteer work at the cringe-worthy Piggy Palooza Festival,
or risk being suspended. Lia and Kiev aren’t thrilled about the situation,
especially when it interferes with Lia’s relaxed life and Kiev’s theater role.
But by working together, they may find more than just bacon—possibly a little
love in the air.
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Enjoy this glimpse inside:
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The door is already wide open. Mr. Walker is missing in action, but two guys are already
there—Tweedle Jerk and Tweedle Jerkier.
I’m not dealing with this crap today. I march up to Cole, who is sitting in my seat again, and watch as Kiev’s eyes seem to follow me all the way until I’m standing in between both of them.
“You need to get out of my seat,” I say to Cole. Does he have his usual basketball shirt on today? He does.
He holds up both hands like he’s trying to tame a wild boar. “Calm down. Calm down, Miss Ophelia Abbie. The bell has not announced the start of this oh-so-wonderful
class.”
I give him a look of disdain. “Enough with the Ophelia stuff.”
“What’s wrong with the name Ophelia?” Kiev pipes in. “It’s like the name from Hamlet.”
“What?” I turn to Kiev, not sure what this idiot is talking about.
“You know, O-phe-li-a.” He draws the name out super slowly to get his point across.
“I don’t give a crap about Hamlet—that has nothing to do with my name,” I huff.
Tapping his fingers on the desk like he’s typing on a keyboard, Kiev stares at my face. “Are you sure your parents didn’t name you after the character?”
“Who the hell names their kid after a stupid Shakespearian play?” I’ve read two, and I hated them both.
“Plenty of people. Juliet Weaver, in our grade, was named after Romeo and Juliet.”
“Quit being pretentious.”
“Quit being a—”
I narrow my eyes at him. “A what?”
“You know what you’re being.”
“Shut up, Kiev. Oh, my parents named me after the capital of Russia, because I’m such an important person who has to answer questions for people when they don’t need help answering!” I yell.
“Um, Kiev is actually the capital of Ukraine.” He bobs his head. “You know that, right?” I hear Cole’s loud hooting to my right.
That’s it! Without thinking, I slam my fist directly into Kiev’s nose.
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About Candace:

 

My name is Candace Robinson. I’m just your average hemiplegic migraine sufferer. My days are spent writing, book reviewing and traveling through books for my blog, Literary Dust.
I live just outside of Houston, Texas, where it feels like the hottest place on Earth with the crazy weather. No, seriously, one day it’s 30 degrees and the next it’s 70 degrees! I live with my husband and awesome daughter!
You can also
follow me on my review blog Literary
Dust
Website | Twitter | Facebook | Tumblr | Instagram | Goodreads
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About Gerardo:

 

 
Gerardo’s amazing bio.
Yup. Even though I’m like one-hundred-and-fifty-nine years old, spelled all out, I love to write about contemporary teens in distress. So no magic, dragons, or unicorns.
About me
At the tender age of sixteen years old, when giant lizards ruled the world, I used to be a DJ–turntables and all. I was born in the States, raised in Mexico, and now live in Big D. Cloud computing is my area of expertise–just don’t ask me what cloud computing means. I love football, the one played with the feet by footballers, La Liga from Spain being the best. Chilaquiles is my favorite food. Yummy.
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About my novels
Multi-cultural is my writing trade, in English and Español. My writing must be emotional or else …
I believe in the Oxford comma, but the Oxford comma doesn’t believe in me.  Love first person present tense POV.
In my novels, food tends to be another protagonist.
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Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram| Tumblr | Goodreads
 
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giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png
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Giveaway Details: All International
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1 winner will receive an Amazon Gift Card, International.
Ends on April 24th at Midnight EST!
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a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

The Friday 56 #166 ~ Between A Ghost And A Spooky Place

Posted: September 8, 2017 in Humor, Mystery, The Friday 56
Tags: , , ,
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Welcome to The Friday 56 hosted by Freda’s Voice.

 

This is a really fun meme!

The only rules are to grab a book (any book), turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader and find a sentence or a few (no spoilers) that grabs you and post it.

Then go over to Freda’s Voice and leave your link so we can visit your 56!

My 56 for this week is from:

Between A Ghost And A Spooky Place

 Ghosts Of London #1

  by Nic Saint

32184472

c8df8-add2bto2bgoodreads2bblack

Genre: Humorous Ghost Mystery

My 56 from the eBook

“You mean, people who have been murdered…recruit you?” she asked, wondering how that worked practically. Ghosts probably didn’t have access to their cell phones or email accounts, nor did they used the classifieds.

I’ll admit. the title and cover were why I grabbed this one. LOL I’m only about 4 chapters in but liking some of these characters already.

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Read on if you want to know more.

Synopsis

Between a Ghost and a Spooky Place is the first installment in the new Ghosts of London series of humorous ghost mysteries, featuring Harry McCabre, who is the cousin of Alice Whitehouse (The Mysteries of Bell & Whitehouse). The stories are set in London, and revolve around Harry, her new best friend Jarrett Zephyr-Thornton III (an eccentric billionaire’s son) and stalwart Inspector Darian Watley of Scotland Yard. In the first book Harry is recruited by the Wraith Wranglers, a group of ghost hunters, and future books will feature her, Jarrett, and Darian in a series of fun and exhilarating ghost adventures.

When Henrietta ‘Harry’ McCabre’s employer, a dodgy antiquarian, is found murdered, she promptly shoots to the top of Inspector Darian Watley’s suspect list. Fortunately she has a solid alibi: at the time of the murder she was delivering a rare and precious book for Buckley: the Clavicule Necroire. Soon the whole case revolves around the Necroire, as the mysterious tome allegedly has the power to turn people immortal. And since Harry was the last person to handle the book, she quickly goes from suspect to target, and from being interrogated by Darian to being protected by him, at his own apartment.

Soon the hunt is on, with billionaires, rogue priests and East End crime bosses trying to get their hands on the Clavicule Necroire… and on Harry.

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Love At First Crepe ~ Release Day Celebration!

Posted: July 22, 2017 in giveaways, Humor, Mystery, Release day, Romance
Tags: , ,
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HAPPY RELEASE DAY
Who knew a delicious crepe, a kung fu attack, and an unexpected love could create such mayhem?
Love At First Crepe
LOVE AT FIRST CREPE
Heidi Renee Mason
Genre: Humorous Romantic Mystery
Publisher: Hot Tree Publishing
Publication Date: July 22, 2017
In Heidi Renee Mason’s humorous romantic mystery, an easygoing chef soon discovers life can become complicated when you’re falling in lust and foiling murder plots.
Born into the wealthy Simpson family, free-spirited, accident-prone Willow is determined to make her own way in life. Her greatest joy is her food truck, The Dancing Crêpe. Baking is her one true passion, and she is content to keep it that way. Love and romance have never been on her agenda, but she suddenly finds herself in the middle of a deliciously decadent love triangle. With two gorgeous men vying for her attention, she vows to keep her distance from both of them, but the tantalizing chemistry is hard to ignore.
Willow would be living the sweet life if it weren’t for her young, beautiful, gold-digging stepmother, Elizabeth, who is nothing but a nagging thorn in her side. She is determined to save her oblivious father from his bad choices, and hopes to add Elizabeth to the long line of ex-step-mothers. Unfortunately, it seems that someone wants to get rid of Willow instead. One crazy night changes everything, and Willow’s life is turned upside down. Between thwarting her own murder plot, keeping her divinely tasty admirers at bay, and trying to stay on the good side of her finicky cat, Omelet, Willow’s plate is full. With far too many cooks in the kitchen, will she be able to stay alive long enough to figure out who wants to kill her?

Purchase Links

Available now. Grab your copy today.
Love At First Crepe Teaser

An Excerpt from the Book

Take an inside look at Love At First Crepe. Read this sizzling excerpt from the book.
Unfortunately, my sense of self-preservation seemed to be on vacation. I was completely frozen in fear, unable to move for what seemed like years. The giant didn’t move either, and I wondered why. Strangely enough, he seemed just as surprised as I was that he was in my living room. We looked at each other, his beady eyes visible through the holes of his ski mask. The synapses in my brain finally began to fire, and I jumped into action, kicking the intruder as hard as I could in the groin. He groaned in pain and clumsily took a swipe at me with the knife as he sank to his knees.
I rolled out of his path and jumped swiftly to my feet. Unfortunately, the maneuver didn’t work exactly as I planned. I lost my towel in the process and was startled to remember that I was completely naked underneath. My lack of clothing was the least of my worries. I had far bigger fish to fry.
I darted into the kitchen and ducked behind the counter. He rose slowly and lumbered toward me. Think, Willow, think!
The man was huge, larger than any human I’d ever seen. I made a quick mental note that his terrifying size might also work against him. Conversely, I was small and quick, and I was determined to use these things to my advantage. I didn’t have much else. As he drew close to me, I sprinted back into the living room. Until I figured out what to do next, I had to stay out of his way.
To be honest, I didn’t have much to offer in the strength department, and I fleetingly wished that I would have paid more attention to weight training at some point in my life. There was no time for regrets at that moment though, so I took quick stock of what I could use to fight back. There was a large paperweight on the table in the foyer. If I could get to that, I could smash him in the head with it. Of course, if I managed to get that far, I’d be better off running out the front door. I thought about my ballet classes and made a list of moves I could use for self-defense. Granted, it wasn’t much, but it was all I had.
A grand battement might do the trick. I could bring my foot right up to his face and take him out, with my toes perfectly pointed of course. Given his size though, I doubted if my foot would reach that far. I groaned, wishing I had some martial arts experience instead. Ballet wasn’t exactly famous for its self-defense tactics, but it would have to do. Rich girls weren’t brought up to fight intruders. That’s what Dad paid the bodyguards to do.
I jumped behind the couch, thankful that there was at least a large piece of furniture between me and the colossus. I was hopeful that one of my neighbors might overhear the altercation, although I knew that was a long shot. I could die there and no one would know until some unlucky neighbor smelled my rotting flesh from the hallway.

Giveaway

WIN $10 GC AND MORE!
Love At First Crepe Giveaway Graphic
Prizes up for grabs:
$10 Amazon Gift Card
Love at First Crepe (eBook Copy)
Contest runs from July 22 – 28, 2017.

About Heidi Renee Mason

Heidi Renee Mason

Heidi Renee Mason is an Ohio girl transplanted into the Pacific Northwest. She is a home schooling mom of three daughters, wife of one mail man, and a people-watching introvert who can be found hiding in the nearest corner. She is an Amazon International Best-selling author and writer of your next happily ever after.
Connect with Heidi Renee Mason on social media:
Love At First Crepe Tour Graphic
For more information, visit the Love At First Crepe Book Page at Book Unleashed.
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