Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

 

Yoga One For Me

by Eden Bloom

 

(Misty Falls, #1)
Publication date: October 30th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

They say you can’t outrun your problems, but that won’t stop me from trying…

Josie

It takes my boyfriend proposing for me to realize I need a new life plan, and fast! So I grab my yoga mat and hit the road. I talk my best friend into swapping places while I sort things out. Her small town of Misty Falls is incredible, and exactly what I need to rethink my life choices.

Everything is going great until I run into her brother Rake — literally — and my dinner ends up all over his clothes. Even covered in mashed potatoes, he’s gorgeous. Not that I care. The last thing I need is a relationship after just fleeing one…

Rake

The moment Josie dumps food on me, I know I’m done for. Between the tornado of a person she is and the unexpected surprise that she’s my sudden roommate, I’m in for a ride. But I’ve got too much at stake to let her become a distraction. My lifelong dream depends on staying away from her.

Even if it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Yoga One For Me is a sweet and funny romcom that will warm your heart. It’s a full-length standalone novel that takes place in a charming small town overlooking the beach. Once you step foot in Misty Falls, you won’t want to leave.

Goodreads / Amazon

Get it FREE on Kindle Unlimited!

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Enjoy this peek inside:

I put down the yoga mat and check the fridge. It’s fully stocked with enough food to feed a football team. Raine went all out, and I only left her some bags to dump in the Crockpot. I owe her big time.

My mouth waters as I rifle through the contents of the fridge. I’m going to double my weight if I try to eat all of this before it goes bad. Most of it will end up in the freezer.

As my stomach roars, I make myself a plate of food and fill a glass with iced tea. Then I head for the dining room, my mouth watering.

I round the corner and crash into something. No, someone. A very tall and very muscular someone.

His eyes widen as my food smashes against his white button-down shirt and my black iced tea runs down his khaki pants, making it look like he wet himself. Maybe he did — I can be scary.

I scream. Smack his side with my plate. He’s surprisingly solid. “Get out!”

He backs up, holding out his hands. “Me? I live here. You get out!”

My pulse thrums in my ears. “No, I do. This is my house for the summer.”

“Says who?” He pulls mashed potatoes from his shirt and flops them onto my plate. His wavy, dirty-blonde hair blocks his face, and he brushes it aside getting food in it.

I get lost in his eyes for a moment. Until I remember that he’s an intruder, and my life is in danger. “Leave! Before I call the police.”

“Did you catch the part about me living here?”

I throw the potatoes back at him. “I don’t know who you are, but Raine said I’d have this house to myself.”

He’s really hot. Maybe he’s one of the guys she’s seeing, and he doesn’t realize she’s in Nevada. That makes sense. But why would he think he lives here?

“Where’s she?”

“If you live here, you should know.” I fold my arms.

He tilts his head, and while he looks menacing he also takes my breath away. “I don’t keep track of where my sister is.”

His sister? He’s Raine’s brother.

Crap. He really does have every right to be here.

Though we’ve never met, now I recognize him from the pictures I’ve seen over the years. He’s even taller and more gorgeous in person.

It takes me a moment to find my voice. “You’re Rake.”

“In the flesh.”

“You still have to leave. This isn’t part of my contract with Raine.” There is no contract. At least not on paper. But she did promise me the house to myself. That’s like a contract. In a way. Fine, it’s a stretch. But I’m going with it.

Rake’s brows furrow. “Leave? I need to shower, thanks to you.”

“After that, you can go.” I storm to my room, taking my useless plate of squished food with me. I’ve lost my appetite anyway.

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About Author Eden Bloom:

Eden has always lived in the Pacific Northwest, and it’s her favorite place to write about. She loves hiking in the great outdoors, sitting by lakes, watching waterfalls, and of course reading romantic comedies. There’s nothing like love and laughter to to lift a person’s spirits, and that’s a gift she hopes to share with all of her readers every time they open one of her books.

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The lighter side of the other side!

From sly humour to laugh out loud funny, Drunk Slutty Elf is a hilarious collection of stories in the styles of masters such as Terry Pratchett, Frederick Brown and David Barry.

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Drunk Slutty Elf and Other Stories

Drunk Elves and More Book 1

by D.G. Valdron

Genre: Funny Fantasy, Wacky SciFi, Horror Comedy

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The lighter side of the other side! Drunk Slutty Elf and Other Stories is a collection of humorous short stories of fantasy, horror and science fiction. In Drunk Slutty Elf, a drunken elf thief hooks up with a gray space alien searching for pieces of his spaceship; Djewel and Djinn features the Elf and Alien in the realm of Arabian nights. In Romance of the Undead; a vampire is pursued by his over-enthusiastic fans. Somewhere in The Monkey Sea, an infinite number of monkeys at typewriters plots rebellion. Lovecraft is parodied in Furry Tentacles of Menace ghost hunters confront hamsters from beyond time and space.; The Princess So Sweet and Fair gives us fairy tales gone horribly wrong, a wicked witch taking an unwanted job seriously and a kingdom overrun by frogs. Stone Blockage; ancient astronauts arrive and want us to build pyramids the old fashioned way. Silver Giant Sexy reveals the truth about Kaiju and the alien giants that fight them. Armageddon When, the antichrist shows up for armageddon and nobody cares. Hard Days Blight gives us a devil that cares too much, and damned souls that don’t care at all. There is Simulaw about the future of litigation, and Courtesy Call about the future of telemarketing, plus many more stories, wicked, subversive and funny. From sly humour to laugh out loud funny, Drunk Slutty Elf is a hilarious collection of stories in the styles of masters such as Terry Pratchett, Frederick Brown and David Barry.

Amazon * Apple * B&N * Google * Kobo * Smashwords * Bookbub * Goodreads

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Salvra, half-Elf, three-fifth’s-Halfling, foursixteenth’s Dwarf, exiled Princess and sixth level thief sidled up to the bar, where she tried to catch the eye of the one-third Orc, but otherwise pretty human bartender, Logo Longlegs.

The bartender gave her a baleful glare, his eyebrow furrowing in disgust.

“Here to clear up your tab?”

“I’m good for it,” Salvra replied nonchalantly.

Longlegs grunted.

“Give me a mug of your best Aelvish Ale,” she said confidently. “I’m a bit hung over, and I need a pick-me-up. On the tab.”

“No.”

“Dwarf Mead then,” she said, “the good stuff!”

“No.”

“Regular Dwarf Mead,” she said.

“No.”

“Beer?”

“No.”

She sighed and gave him a cold look. Something that tried to convey ‘If I weren’t so hung over, I’d pick this place clean.’

It didn’t work.

She sighed and felt through her purse. She thought she’d had more in there. Someone must have picked her pocket while she’d been drunk. She found a lone bent coin. She looked at it in disgust and slapped it on the bar. Longlegs eyed it doubtfully.

“What will this buy me?” she asked.

“A flagon of drunken Orc’s piss,” he said.

She wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic, but she decided to give it a try.

“I’ll take it.”

Longlegs grunted once. Using tongs, he tossed the coin into a small register, then he grabbed a mug and turned his back to her, fiddling with his trousers.

“Is this going to take long?” she said.

“No more than a minute,” he called back to her. Then he sighed deeply, and she heard the hissing sound of the mug being filled. A second later, he turned back to her slapped the mug on the bar in front of her, careful not to spill any of the thick green liquid in it.

She eyed the mug critically. There was a good head of foam on it, which meant it was fresh. And there were things swimming in it. That was a good sign. She grabbed the handle, threw her head back, and quaffed a deep draught, gasping as the foul liquid slid down her throat. There was a moment when the rest of her stomach contents, appalled at this new visitor, tried to escape. But she’d been down this road before, and held her nostrils closed and lips sealed until everything, including her liver, had resigned itself to fate.

“I’m starting to like the taste,” she said conversationally.

Longlegs gave her a long baleful look.

“There’s work for you,” he said.

She made a face.

“I’m a ninth level thief,” she said, “and an exiled princess. I don’t clean outhouses.”

“Not what I meant.”

“Not that either!” she said indignantly.

“No,” Longlegs said. “That guy.”

He pointed.

She looked. In a corner of the bar, a figure was hunched over a table.

“Nah .. .” she said, after a long look. “I don’t hook up with mysterious strangers in a bar, unless they’re paying up front.”

She hesitated.

“That didn’t come out how I meant,” she said apologetically.

He stared blankly at her.

“Oh all right.” She swallowed the rest of her mug with one deep draught, and when she could breathe again, she ignored his horrified expression, and staggered over, plopping herself into the chair.

“I hear you’re looking for a thief–” but her announcement trailed off as she got a good look at the stranger.

The being in front of her was gray. All gray. Its skin was rubbery. Its head was immense with two huge black almond shaped eyes. The rest of its facial features were tiny, the mouth a mere lipless slit, two tiny notches for nostrils. The rest of it was also incongruously off proportion with its head, the chest narrow, the limbs mere sticks, ending in hands with incredibly long spidery fingers. The sight of those fingers gave Salvra shivers. She wondered if other parts of him were as long and spidery.

“What the hell are you?” she asked breathlessly.

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Drunk Slutty Elf and Zombies

Drunk Elves and More Book 2

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The Drunk Slutty Elf returns, in a new misadventure with zombies. Along the way, there are more funny science fiction and fantasy stories, the foibles of satanic goat hunters, apocalyptic teddy bears, barbarians behaving badly, King Kong’s adventure with Dracula, aliens without a clue, the future of telemarketing, crunchy kaiju goodness and a helpful guide to neighborhood monsters. If you liked the previous collection, you’ll love this.

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Excerpt – Dracula meets King Kong

 

SCENE – SKULL ISLAND, THE CHASM WITH THE LOG UPON IT. DRACULA STANDS ON ONE SIDE OF THE CHASM, DRISCOLL AND THE REST OF THE MEN ARE ON THE LOG.

DRACULA – I am afraid, Mister Driscoll, your adventure ends here. This is as far as you go.

DRISCOLL – What are you talking about, Doctor? Anne is still out there.

DRACULA – My name is Dracula, Mister Driscoll. And Anne is no longer your concern. I have business to take care of. I cannot permit you to go further.

DRISCOLL – You were working with the savages! I knew from the start there was something wrong with you. We should never have trusted you. You were probably making us sick.

DRACULA (laughs) – Wisdom comes too late, Mister Driscoll.

DRISCOLL PULLS PISTOL, AND WAVES TO HIS MEN.

DRISCOLL – We’re coming over. And you can’t stop us, Doctor Carfax, or Dracula, whatever your name is. You’re just one man, and we have the guns.

DRISCOLL ADVANCES ACROSS THE LOG, FOLLOWED BY SEVERAL OF THE CREW OF THE VENTURE.

DRACULA – I am not a man, Mister Driscoll, and your guns are nothing to me.

DRACULA SEIZES THE ROOTS OF THE GIANT FALLEN LOG ACROSS THE CHASM, AND TWISTS. THE ENTIRE LOG ROCKS BACK AND FORTH. SOME OF THE MEN FALL OFF. DRISCOLL AND THE OTHERS FALL PRONE, HANGING ONTO THE LOG FOR ALL THEY ARE WORTH.

CUT TO DRACULA’S FACE, SHOWING UNEARTHLY STRAIN AT THESE EXERTIONS.

DRACULA HEAVES THE LOG BACK AND FORTH SHAKING IT MORE AND MORE VIOLENTLY, MORE MEN FALL OFF, BUT A FEW REMAIN CLINGING.

DRACULA – You are persistent, Mister Driscoll, but it will not help you.

WITH A MIGHTY HEAVE, DRACULA COMPLETELY LIFTS ONE END OF THE LOG INTO THE AIR, RAISING IT ABOVE HIS HEAD, AND HURLS IT INTO THE CHASM, THE LOG FALLS, TAKING THE REMAINING MEN WITH IT. AS IT FALLS, DRISCOLL DESPERATELY SEIZES A VINE, SWINGING TO PERILOUS SAFETY.

DRACULA GAZES INTO THE CHASM, A SMILE ON HIS FACE. HE LOOKS DOWN, AND FROWNS.

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D.G. Valdron is a shy and reclusive Canadian writer, living in the wilderness of the Canadian Prairie. Like other shy woodland creatures, deer, bunnies, grizzly bears, he is probably more afraid of you, than you are of him. Probably. A longtime nerd who grew up working at a Drive-In Theatre, he loves exploring interesting and obscure corners of pop culture. A longtime writer of Fantasy, Science Fiction and Horror, his published works include a fantasy/murder mystery novel called The Mermaid’s Tale, the alternate history novel, Axis of Andes, several collections of short stories including Dawn of Cthulhu, Giant Monsters Sing Sad Songs, What Devours Always Hungers and There Are No Doors in Dark Places. He’s also a recognized expert on such obscure subjects as the worlds of Edgar Rice Burroughs, obscure science fiction television series and fan films. Drunk Slutty Elf and its follow up are his foray into the lighter side of the other side.

Website * Facebook * Instagram * Amazon * Goodreads

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Beach Please

by Melanie Summers

 

(Paradise Bay, #6)
Publication date: June 22nd 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

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A hilarious and heartwarming story that’ll have you snort-laughing, swooning, and sighing with happiness…

Lola Gordon’s dreams of a thriving surf shop were shattered when her ex vanished with all the money in their business account, leaving her on the brink of losing everything. With the bank set to auction off her beloved shop and its contents in just six weeks, Lola is desperate to find a solution.

When news of an exciting treasure hunt sweeps through the island, Lola sees it as her last chance to reclaim her surf shop and rebuild her life. There’s just one obstacle standing in her way: she needs a boat.

Enter Aidan Clarke, a disillusioned Canadian expat seeking solace in the tranquil shores of Paradise Bay. Having recently discovered his fiancée’s infidelity with his brother, Aidan wants to be alone. So when his parents decide to visit and hunt for a house near his seaside cottage, Aidan realizes he must create an illusion of happiness.

He proposes a deal to Lola: he’ll provide the boat she needs if she agrees to pose as his live-in girlfriend.

As Lola and Aidan set sail on their adventure, the lines between fiction and reality blur, and their fake affection starts to feel all too genuine.

Join Lola and Aidan as their dreams are tested, their hearts are mended, and a sun-kissed romance awaits…

Beach Please is a closed-door rom-com with a bit of heat and a fair bit of cursing. It stands alone (although to get the full treasure hunt experience, it’s best to read Whisked Away first) and comes complete with maps, colourful graphics, and a whole lot of ice cream…

Goodreads / Amazon

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MY REVIEW

It mentions in the synopsis that this is a sun-kissed romance, and it sure is. There’s something about summer that draws me to contemporary romance books.  Especially beachy, funny ones. Beach Please has all that including a treasure hunt and characters that delighted me.

Lola and Aidan both have emotional baggage and need something, anything, to change the course of their lives. Circumstances land them on a boat together and what starts as a ruse quickly turns into something tangible.

A treasure hunt. A fake romance. It’s funny, sunny, spicy and addictive. I sped through Beach Please and got everything I hoped for.

5 STARS

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Enjoy this peek inside:

“Aww, you two look so sweet,” his mom says. “I need to get a picture of you together.”

We both sit up and Aidan puts his arm around me, pulling me in. I rest my head on his shoulder and smile, my heart pounding and my stomach fluttering for some strange reason. I don’t want either of those things to happen. Yes, he’s hot, but he’s also a fussy neat freak and we have absolutely no future together.

“You two are going to have the most beautiful children,” she says, still holding the phone up.

My face flames at that thought and I can’t help but feel a tug of guilt for lying to them like this.

“Did you get the shot, mom?” Aidan asks.

“Nuts,” Ginnie says. “The camera was aimed at me the whole time. One second.”

“Sorry about this,” Aidan murmurs.

“It’s fine, really,” I say, even though it’s not fine because the longer our bodies are pressed together like this, the more I’m enjoying it. If I’m not careful, I’m going to wind up feeling very confused about what we’re actually doing here, and with us about to spend who knows how long alone together on his boat, I definitely can’t afford to be getting confused. I remind myself that he’s solidly anti-relationship. I remind myself we have nothing in common. I remind myself that the last thing I need right now is a man. And yet, the smell of his skin and the feeling of his arm around me is suggesting otherwise…

Author Melanie Summers:

Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.

Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts Series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas, and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.

In her previous life (i.e. before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally – then she’ll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for ‘K’ Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn’t require makeup and/or nylons).

Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she’s not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something–more like just staying until they turn the lights off.

She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International.

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Pity Date

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Pity Series, #1)
Publication date: May 18th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Faith
I should’ve known it wouldn’t work out.

In all my twenty-nine years, life has never been smooth sailing when a man was involved. Astor Hill was everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner—handsome, successful, and interested in me. Until he started cheating. The cherry on the sundae is finding out the truth less than two weeks before we’re supposed to stand up for our best friends at their wedding.

When a staggeringly good-looking and kind stranger comes to town and offers to take me to the wedding, I jump at his proposal. Who cares if he’s gay? Astor doesn’t need to know that.

Teddy
She thinks I’m gay?!

I’m taking a vacation from Hollywood and going back to Elk Lake. My grandfather hasn’t been doing well after Gram died and he needs my support. Luckily, I’m between blockbuster movies so I can make the time.

My first stop is Rosemary’s Bakery for one of the gingersnaps I remember so fondly from my childhood. The only problem is that the girl at the counter has eaten them all. After spilling my tea on me, she bursts into tears and tells me her troubles. I should be annoyed but I’m oddly charmed.

I know what it’s like to be dumped by a cheater, so I do the only thing I can think of: I offer to take her to the wedding to make her ex jealous. Unfortunately, with the help of the tabloids, things quickly spiral out of control…

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Faith

I’ve had an invisible target painted on me that only members of the opposite sex can see. And boy are they determined to shoot me through the heart.

It started with Bobby McEntire in the first grade. My best friend, Anna, used to help me chase him around the playground as a way of declaring my undying devotion. He missed the point entirely and tripped me so that I fell face first into a mud puddle. That single act of war ended any love I’d once felt for him.

In the fourth grade, Kenny Franks caught my eye. He wasn’t the typical boy girls pined for, which made me think he could possibly share my feelings. He had moderately bucked teeth, a nose that turned up just enough to appear porcine, and he wore glasses. Surely, I was enough to catch the heart of one such as him.

Alas, when I asked him to be my boyfriend on Sadie Hawkins Day that same year, he laughed in my face. Laughed. At me. The disdain I felt lasted through our senior year in high school. When he approached me at a friend’s graduation party and asked why I hated him so much, I reverted to childish ways and threw my drink on him before walking away. How dare he forget his transgression?

Then there was that tourist I kissed—my first!—at a beach party the summer before my freshman year. I never got his name, nor did I see him any summers after that. I can’t really say what I felt for him was love, but a definite hormonal reaction took place. Also, I may have pretended that he was my long-distance boyfriend at Katie Ramsey’s big back to school sleepover the week before we entered the hallowed halls of Elk Creek High School. Go, Crappies!—as in the fish, not the poop emoji.

In high school, I was all about Adam Sanchez. Adam was so far out of my league, I knew nothing could ever come of us, but that didn’t stop my fantasies. I spent the whole four years imagining scenarios where he would claim me for his own. My favorite was the one where he strode into the lunchroom like a rock star taking center stage. He stopped right in front of me before loudly declaring my perfection to one and all. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to homecoming/prom/the spring formal—basically, whichever dance was on the horizon. None of that ever happened.

Obviously.

Junior year in college, I thought I’d found my life partner in Trevor Blake. Trevor was your typical tall, dark, and handsome specimen. He was sporty and studious. But more important than both of those things, he had a sense of humor that kept me laughing. The only problem was that after a year of dating, Trevor still hadn’t put any serious moves on me. When confronted with why, he claimed it was because he wanted us to save ourselves until we were married.

He saw us getting married, so, yay! But also, we did not live in Victorian times, so it was kind of hard to trust that was the real reason. In retrospect, I’m hugely grateful I didn’t believe him. A happenstance that was firmly cemented when I caught him making out with his roommate at a kegger their fraternity was throwing. As far as gaydar goes, I didn’t have any.

I dated a few different guys in my twenties, but none of them sent my heart into atrial fibrillation. I simply enjoyed going out with them while I was waiting for “the one.”

Enter Astor Hill. I knew he was it for me the night we met. One look at his sandy-haired Leonardo de Caprio (from Titanic) savoir faire, and my heart rate took off like a particularly vigorous Fourth of July fireworks display. Boom, boom, boom! Everything about him shouted he was destined to be Mr. Faith Reynolds. Although, I’m sure I would have taken his last name instead. I mean, Faith Hill worked so well for, you know … Faith Hill, that I was sure to have equal success. Even though I was no singer …

But then Astor showed his true colors and once again I was left behind. That’s when I should have probably converted to Catholicism and committed my life to God, a la the convent life.

I might have actually done that too, had it not been for the pity date …

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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Eggs For the Ageless

by Kyle A. Massa

Genre: Comedy, Fantasy

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Religion is a funny thing. Especially when you accidentally create your own.

Eccentric young writer Zeggara “Egg” East has done just that, much to the chagrin of her devout mother. Egg’s new religion is called “Penguinism” and it’s proving far more popular than anyone—even the immortal Ageless—could’ve imagined. And the thing about deities is, they don’t appreciate a rival dogma.

Now everyone’s choosing sides in the coming conflict, including a tea-slurping tyrant, a guy with 12 gifts, and the God of Waste Management. So when Egg and her mother pick opposing factions, Egg has to wonder…can they reconcile, or will religion keep them apart forever?

Perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett, Christopher Moore, and Douglas Adams, Eggs for the Ageless is a comic fantasy novel about family, faith, and waddling—not necessarily in that order.

What readers are saying:

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A fantasy comedy that swims in similarly madcap waters as works by Terry Pratchett and Christopher Moore, Massa’s novel coolly and deftly introduces a farcical setting that reflects the absurdity of today’s world, brimming with commentary on religion, capitalism, and writing.”Kirkus Reviews

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A riot of a book where the characters amuse while offering cutting critiques of human nature (and god nature?). Light as well as insightful. A triumph.”Kate Tailor, Benjamin Franklin Award Winning Author

Hilarious, quirky, and sharply satirical. Kyle A. Massa has crafted a work of comedic genius that will make you laugh until you cry, while simultaneously exploring the hypocrisy of some of humanity’s deepest-held beliefs. A read for anyone who delights in absurdity.” – Laura Lauda, Author

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Eggs for the Ageless is a hoot. It’s fun and easy to read, but leaves you with lots to think about, and endless chuckles. It’s filled with delightful characters, both good and bad. Kyle A. Massa weaves together a bundle of hilarious plot threads so expertly that you never quite know where they’re going, but can’t wait to get there.” – Geoff Jones, Author of The Dinosaur Four

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Fun, funny, and wildly creative.” – Nathan Pieplow, Author

Interesting character development and a fast-clip storyline tells a very funny tale. Highly recommend.”AJM, Amazon Reviewer

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Author’s Site * Amazon * Apple * B&N * Google * Kobo * Books2Read * Bookbub * Goodreads

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Q: What inspired you to write this book?

 

I’ve always been fascinated by ancient mythology, particularly the Greeks, because they’re pretty much an immortal dysfunctional family. Though they had deities for almost everything, they were still missing some important subjects, such as waste management. So I filed that idea away.

I was also interested in the origins of Scientology (and its effects on the film career of John Travolta). It’s a religion intentionally started by an author, which made me wonder, what if a writer started a religion by accident?

When I combined those two ideas, I found I had a compelling conflict: Writer accidentally starts her own religion, stealing worshippers from the existing pantheon of gods and goddesses. They get mad at the writer, and chaos ensues. That became the plot of Eggs for the Ageless.

 

Q: What can we expect from you in the future?

 

For me, the greatest allure of independent authorship is creative freedom. I want to explore as many genres as I can, which is why I’m following up Eggs for the Ageless with a collection of nonfiction essays, due out in the fall. From there, I’m deciding between a book of interlocking novellas, or a sci-fi novel about parallel bachelor/bachelorette parties. Wish me luck.

 

Q: What are common traps for aspiring writers?

 

Getting discouraged by early obscurity.

I remember when I finally finished and published my first book, I had this expectation of success. I wasn’t expecting all five-star reviews or massive sales—just hoping for a modest amount of both.

Instead, my launch was pretty unremarkable. Family and friends bought it (and I’m so thankful that they did!), but sales quickly dropped off.

At first, I was disappointed. When Stephen King wrote Carrie, Hollywood adapted it into a major movie two years later. So where the hell was Brian De Palma, and why wasn’t he adapting my book?

Then, weirdly, I heard an anecdote about Bruce Springsteen that brightened my mood. Today, fans recognize Bruce’s first two albums (Greetings from Asbury Park, N.J. and The Wild, the Innocent & the E Street Shuffle) as classics. However, at the time of release, they didn’t sell well nationally at all. Only after the runaway success of his third album, Born to Run, did most fans discover the previous two.

This is a roundabout way of saying that consistency is the best way to build your community. Even if your first few books don’t work, keep writing. Eventually, you’ll write your Born to Run.

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Kyle A. Massa is a comic fantasy author living somewhere in upstate New York with his wife, their daughter, and three wild animals. His published works include three books and several short stories. When he’s not writing, he enjoys reading, running, and drinking coffee.

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Grand Gestures

by Lynne Hancock Pearson

 

Publication date: April 15th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

She will grit her teeth and smile at the snobby and suspicious CFO if it means landing the contract. But she won’t put on a dress and definitely not heels.

Event planner Jane Beckett has big dreams for her small company and is bending over backward to accommodate demanding clients. Jane doesn’t have to like them. She doesn’t have to spend her free time with them. But she wants to tease the grumpy pencil-pushing executive who always seems to be in her way, muss up his hair and show him that there’s more to life than boardrooms and bottom lines. That is, when she doesn’t want to yell at him. Or punch him.

Liam Cross believes every woman has a hidden agenda, one that involves taking advantage of big hearted, clueless billionaires like his best friend and co-worker. He’s watching Jane and her sister to ensure that party-planning is all that’s going on. Even though she manages to steal his assistant, he likes what he sees in the smart-mouthed brunette, admires her stubborn independence, and wants to help her fledgling firm succeed despite his misapprehensions.

Paintballs, punches, and sparks fly when inflated egos and miscommunication threaten relationships between friends, family, and partners.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

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Enjoy this peek inside:

With whiskey warming his belly and muddling his mind, signing up for a paintball session seemed like a great idea, in the light of day and with a pounding headache, not so much. He intended to argue his way out of the non-refundable fee he’d paid in his drunken state. Settling his sunglasses firmly over his eyes, Liam hauled his sorry ass out of the car. His back hurt, his head hurt, and his hands hurt.

Fingering a fresh blister on the palm of his hand, he cursed himself for not wearing gloves at the batting cage the night before. He’d gone directly from the office to the sports field in Magnuson Park. For two hours, he’d slugged away at balls. Personal day. Liam had never taken a personal day. Other than dental and medical checkups, he never took a day off. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything fun without Chuck. He’d whacked the ball time and time again, thinking about his best friend potentially getting his heart stomped on. Again. Worn out from swinging the bat, he’d stopped for booze and takeout, then headed home to stalk Jane Beckett online.

Bullseye Paintball was located in an old salvage yard off Aurora. Whooping with glee, kids erupted out of SUVs and mini vans in the parking lot. Wincing at the noise, Liam made his way to the office and pulled open the heavy door.

“What are you doing here?”

Shit!

Wearing black cargo pants tucked into combat boots and a black hooded sweatshirt, Jane Beckett lounged against the registration desk. She flicked her bangs out of her eyes with a toss of her head and smirked at him. “You’re not playing, are you?”

Her dismissive tone rubbed against his raw nerves. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

Sipping from a travel mug, Jane’s gaze roamed up and down his body, taking in his khaki shorts, fresh white collared shirt, and sneakers. Her lips twitched. “Oh, no reason at all.”

The door opened, and the small office filled with kids, backing Liam into a corner and saving him from having to reply. Jane shifted her attention to the kids and raised her arms in the air.

“Who’s ready to have fun?” she yelled.

“Yay!” the kids replied at the top of their lungs.

“Who’s ready to get dirty?”

They yelled louder.

“Who’s ready to plant a garden?”

The kids looked confused.

“I’m just messing with you!” Jane grinned and opened the door to the playing field. “Head out and find Jason. He’s going to fit you with safety equipment and guns.”

The kids stampeded out, leaving two dads dressed in camo-chic, looking both excited and nervous. One of whom wore an air cast on one leg. “Oh dear,” Jane said, “you’re not going to be able to play with that.”

The man in the cast replied, “Stan and I discussed strategy. I figured I’d prop myself up in a corner and shoot from behind cover.”

“Yeah,” Stan said. “You and I can run and juke, draw their fire, and Carl can pick them off. He can as well.” He looked toward Liam. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Whose dad are you?”

Three pairs of inquisitive eyes turned toward him. “Nobody’s. I’m not part of the party.” He felt like a fool. How the hell to get out of this while saving face?

“Liam’s never played before. He’s here to scout the place for a team-building event for his company.”

Carl and Stan nodded at Jane’s remarks. Liam shot her a quick smile of thanks.

Then she cocked one hip, crossed her arms, and threw him under the bus. “We’ve got tactical gear you can borrow for firsthand experience, Mr. Cross. How about it?”

“Yeah,” Carl said. “You’ll be able to see how much fun it is. And help us out. There’s twelve of them, and with my bum leg, they’ll make mincemeat out of us.”

Stan nudged Carl’s shoulder. “Don’t scare him.” He turned to Liam. “It won’t be that bad. The girls are experienced. We’ll tell Jessica, that’s our daughter, to tell them to go easy on you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Liam caught the grin Jane was attempting to hide behind her hand. Great. She was laughing at him. There was no way he could get out of this and still keep his man card. “I’m in.” He extended his hand to Carl but glared at Jane.

Thirty minutes later, he found himself cowering behind a stack of wooden pallets with a barrage of paintballs coming at him. What the holy hell?! This was not fun. This was terrifying. He looked back and spotted Carl wedged between empty oil drums, cackling maniacally as paintballs pinged off the metal. What was wrong with these people?

Author Lynne Hancock Pearson:

Lynne Hancock Pearson writes fun, flirty, feel-good fiction set in the Pacific Northwest. Stories of people finding their way, even if it takes a while to get there.

She lives near Seattle with two and a half finicky felines and one long-suffering husband. She is a left-handed middle child who grew up in the Great White North.

Website / Goodreads / Twitter / Instagram

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Welcome to my stop during the book blitz for A Case of Madness by Yvonne Knop. In A case of Madness, a world-weary Sherlock Holmes scholar loses his job and his sanity when the great detective materializes in his flat to help solve a mystery that involves a handsome male stranger.

This book blitz is organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The book blitz runs from 3 till 16 April. See the tour schedule here.

A Case of Madness
By Yvonne Knop

 

A Case of Madness book cover

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Age category: Adult
Release Date: 20 March 2023

Blurb:

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Andrew Thomas just got sacked. He’s permanently drunk. He’s got cancer. Is inescapably gay. Was hit by a bus. And he’s fallen in love with a stranger whose life he saved.

As a newly-unemployed Sherlock Holmes scholar, Andrew knows only Holmes can help him untangle the madness his life has become, but Holmes isn’t real. Except he absolutely appeared in Andrew’s house, told him he’s in love with a man he just met…and then in a fit of pique Andrew sent him away.

Sure Holmes is probably a hallucination or a specter or a ghost, but now Andrew desperately needs his help. So to find the answer to his case and the man of his dreams, Andrew takes to chasing a fictional character through London with his very own Watson.

Links:
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Amazon
Amazon UK
B&N
Kobo
Bookdepository
Improbable Press

Yvonne Knop author picture

About Author Yvonne Knop:
Yvonne is a bi and nonbinary writer who dedicates their free time to extending the secret Gay Agenda.

Although born and raised in the north of Germany, Yvonne’s passion for Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who, their sassy humor, and aversion to talking on public transport made them suspiciously British from early on.

As a natural matter of cause and effect, Yvonne moved to London in 2014 and started to write (a novel for the drawer). No word was written until 2017 when the sudden question of ‘What if I could talk to Sherlock Holmes?’ came up to them.

Conducting PhD research in the world’s most extensive Sherlock Holmes collection, located in Minneapolis, USA, was a great help for answering that question. The result was not a PhD, but their debut Novel A Case of Madness, originally written in German and in a bold move translated by the author themselves when nobody in Germany understood a word they were saying.

Author links:
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2023 Debuts
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For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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Rewrites of the Heart

by Terry Newman

Genre: Paranormal Romantic Comedy

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JJ Spritely, romance author, writes characters that jump off the page. Figuratively, that is. She never expects them to make a literal leap smack dab into her world. But Alex Zurich and Blake Teesdale do just that. And they’re on a mission to help JJ write her own personal love story with a man she recently met, Kennedy King Cooper.

A history professor, Cooper doesn’t see the value of romance novels and he has even less regard for those who write them. Until he meets a woman who haunts his thoughts.

There’s only one small snag in Alex’s and Blake’s plan…okay…two rather large snags. JJ wants nothing to do with Cooper. The other snag? Alex and Blake aren’t able to return to the pages of their own book.

Will JJ and Cooper write their own love story? And will Alex and Blake find their way back to their own world?

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Amazon * Books2Read * Bookbub * Goodreads

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What makes a good story?

 

A story lives or dies by its characters. There seems to be an age-old debate about whether a novel is plot-driven or character-driven. Without three-dimensional likeable characters, there isn’t a story. If the reader doesn’t like your hero, whether it’s a romance or a mystery, then they won’t care about what happens to them. The plot doesn’t matter.

 

But the best stories, I believe, are those that have a cast of likeable, well-rounded characters. If you can write supporting characters who the readers cheer when they enter a scene, then you’ve got a great story.

 

What are you currently reading?

 

I just finished reading The Love Hypothesis, and Love on the Brain, both by Ali Hazelwood. If you love romantic comedies, then you’ll want to grab up these books. I love her writing style. I’ve also recently finished Boyfriend Material, and Husband Material by Alexis Hall. I highly recommend them both.

 

If your book had a candle, what scent would it be?

 

I can’t believe I had to think about this. It would be a coffee scent. Of course. Everyone in all my books drinks coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. (And you thought I was going to say something romantic, like rose petals.)

 

What did you edit out of this book?

I edited several chapters from other characters’ points of view. I was so into creating all my friends, that I wanted each one to have a say in the book. I gave Deb Dilley, the history department secretary, a couple of chapters. I also gave the department chair, Dr. Thomas Chare, several chapters. They are both wonderful supporting characters with personalities of their own.

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Two things you should know about me: I have an offbeat sense of humor and characters are constantly talking to me, trying to get me to tell their stories. Other than that, I’m a normal person.

I’ve spent most of my adult life writing in some fashion, from small-town reporter, to editor-in-chief and ghostwriter for a national natural health publishing firm. The last decade and a half I’ve worked as a freelance writer, penning ebooks that range from starting a doula services business to Native American herbs.

I’ve finally took the plunge to fiction after pushing oh, so many doubts aside. My first novel with The Wild Rose Press, Heartquake, won a 4.5 crowned heart review with Ind’tale Magazine.

All my books are set in fictional towns in northeast Ohio, where I grew up, and I write about things I love—like coffee.

I have a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy and live in North Lima, a real town in northeast Ohio with all my characters. Yes, it does get crowded.

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Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

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For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

 

At Last

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Seven Brides for Seven Mothers, #8)
Publication date: February 1st 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Queen Charlotte of Malquar has been hard at work setting up all her children, but so far, she’s been unable to find someone for Sophie.

Princess Sophie was supposed to be the second royal sibling to marry, but she broke her engagement when she found out her fiancé was cheating on her.

Sophie has all but given up hope of finding her own fairytale ending. That is, until a mystery bouquet of roses shows up at the palace. The note says they’re from Arlo Hammond. After years of pining for the man she thought was her everlasting love, Sophie finally released all thoughts of Arlo, only to have him show up again thirteen years later. Why?

Will Arlo’s explanation win Sophie’s forgiveness? Will she give him another chance and find her own happy ending at last? Or will the heartache of the past be too much to forgive?

Find out in the final installment of Dineen’s bestselling and deliciously romantic Seven Brides for Seven Mothers series!

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Curling up on my living room sofa, I snuggle under my favorite cashmere throw before picking up the telephone. After punching in the number, I smile when I hear the voice of my dearest friend from university days. “Sophie!” Avery sounds both surprised and delighted. “It’s been ages. How are you?”

“I’m confused,” I tell her bluntly.

“The farthest fork out is for the fish course,” she teases.

“Ha ha ha.” I love how easily we fall into old banter. It’s always been like this between us. But of course, I didn’t call to chit chat. “Do you remember Arlo Hammond?”

I hear her choke on what I’m guessing is her morning coffee. Having grown up in the States, Aves never was one for tea. “Of course I remember. But I thought he was old news.”

“He’s been sending me flowers once a month for the last seven months.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“I figured I’d wait to see if he said anything interesting.”

“And?”

I hear a sharp knock, which I’m hoping is someone from the kitchen with the decadent sweet breads I’ve ordered. Even though my waistline doesn’t need the indulgence, I’m still going to enjoy them. “Hold on, Aves,” I tell her before getting up to retrieve my breakfast.

Padding across my living room rug in bare feet, I pull the door open. My enthusiasm vanishes when I see that my visitor is not from the kitchen. It’s my mother. “What are you doing here?” I greet none too politely.

“Good morning to you, too.” She pushes her way through the door.

“I’m on an important call, Mum. I can’t chat right now.” If I tell her who I’m talking to, she’ll simply demand to get on the phone and have her own conversation with Avery.

Stopping in her tracks next to the trestle table against the wall in my foyer, she says, “I see you received the flowers that arrived yesterday.”

“I did.” When she doesn’t immediately respond, I add, “Is there any way we can talk later? I really need to get back to my call. It’s rather important.” Let her assume I’m planning the next big charity event, and child literacy itself is at stake. Participating in charitable events is nearly all I do as a working royal, and while I know it’s an important contribution, it sometimes bores me to the bone.

“I’ll be in the parlor between ten and eleven,” she tells me before backtracking toward the door. Before she walks through it, she adds, “I’ll expect you at ten.”

“I’ll do what I can, Mum.” I’m about to shut the door when I spot the serving girl from the kitchen walking down the hall with my breakfast. I indicate that I’m leaving the door open for her before hurrying back to the couch.

As soon as I pick up the phone, I hear Avery yelling at someone, “Not there! I asked you to put them in the linen closet.”

“Who are you lording it over?” I ask with a laugh.

“My husband, of course. We’re only now getting down to the business of unpacking all the bedding.”

“But you’ve been married and in the house for over six months,” I tell her.

“You know me, Soph, I’m not that fussy. I’m okay with washing the old sheets and then returning them to the bed. However, my mother-in-law feels that kind of bohemian nonsense isn’t good enough for her Tony. She made me register for six sets of linens and now I have to store them all. I should dump them off at her house.”

I don’t even have that many extra sheets,” I tell her.

“I venture you don’t have any idea how many sheets there are in that castle you call home. But you didn’t call me to talk about bedding. You called about Arlo.”

As the server pushes the trolley over the threshold, I motion for her to leave it there before mouthing a quick thank you. When she shuts the door behind her, I ask my friend, “What is he doing getting in touch after all these years?”

“You can’t guess?”

“Avery, what happened between us was over thirteen years ago. It barely even started before it was over.”

“You talked about him constantly for two years,” she reminds me.

It’s true, I did. Arlo Hammond made a huge impact on my life in a very short amount of time, but there was no way there could ever have been anything between us. “I did what I was supposed to do, and I forgot him.”

Why were you supposed to forget him again?”

“Avery Flemming, you know perfectly well.”

“What I know is that your parents are much more open-minded than you give them credit for.”

I don’t give her the satisfaction of agreeing with her. I simply say, “Maybe …”

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Twitter / Facebook / Instagram

 

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Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for Last Chance organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.

Author Darren E. Watling will be awarding a $15 Amazon or B&N Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Don’t forget to enter!

And you can click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Last Chance

by Darren E. Watling

Genre: Comedy / Sci-fi

Synopsis

The earth’s epilogue was a forgone conclusion.

Our World selects seven of the best human beings that man, woman, and other could put their faith in, to ensure human existence, each displaying traits of a master in his/hers/its field.

However, not all traits are in the best interest of humankind.

Out of this World places seven hospital patients on a Plan B shuttle. Life was difficult on Earth. A new planet presents new problems. The ex-Fruit and Nut Friendly Psychiatric Hospital patients are up for the challenge.

Into the Other World—The Twist. Not only a mid-1900s dance, it is also associated with a lemon, a warped shape, a frame of mind, a warped frame of mind, a face you pull from sucking lemons and an end of story, unexpected finish, not to be given away, glancing at the back cover.

Enjoy this peek inside:

“The court versus Jarred Pork,” the bailiff announced.

“Another serious offence. Jaywalking again. Unbelievable. What have you got to say for yourself, hmm? Well? Speak up, speak up,” the judge said, his thick and fearsome eyebrows alternating up and down.

“If the court pleases, Your Honour . . .” Sid, the defence lawyer, started.

“I’m not too pleased so far but ‘carry on, Sid’.”

“I’m the accused’s attorney. I will speak for Jarred as the accused is mute.”

The judge gave a heavy sigh and adjusted his black gown. “Very well, continue.”

“Jarred went out looking for his husband, as he hadn’t returned with an asthma puffer for their great-grandson., Wheelchair-bound, Jarred left the child with a trusting neighbour. As Jarred left their tiny unit, the red-bearded, dreadlocked kiddies friend, Molly Lester sang a kiddie song, and everyone assumed the child was safe, sport. (It is said Molly was heard on the phone: Hey, Dad! Bring Bill over. I’ve got another one. Presumably, another child to nurture, teach and explain what fine examples of human beings they are).

“I’ve heard enough from that man’s/woman’s/its mouth. Guilty! Throw away the key, like a rapper!” “Next, and this better be good, Johnny,” Clint said, as Sid swapped out and Johnny became the new defence lawyer.

“You sure are a weird lawyer Johnny, but I like you.”

“The court versus Harlett Sexton Action. The Honourable Judge Clint Eros presiding,” the bailiff stated.

“Oh, you poor thing. What have they got you in here for?” the judge showing compassion to the DD’s.

Harlette continued chewing gum as she spoke, “Well, Clinty, I’m pretty sure it’s a case of mistaken identity. I was on my way to make another porn movie, and the next thing I remember was a police officer saying I hit something or something.”

“You have a very strong defence Miss Action,” the unbiased judge claimed. “Let the prosecution begin.”

From chapter ‘Clint’ part three – Into the Other World

About Author Darren E. Watling:

Born Darren Edward Watling, Subiaco, Western Australia, 1966. Darren excelled in English, maintaining ‘A’s, throughout his schooling and wrote a play, ‘Laughing Gas’, for his school at the age of 10. Credited with one small, published article, Darren found inspiration and reward, arriving at his latest piece, ‘Last Chance’.

He completed an apprenticeship, as a fitter, at Princess Margaret Hospital, while continuing his passion for short story writing.

Traveling Australia for three years on a private bus gave Darren a beginning to the experiences and continued, humorous outlook he has on life.

Darren approached his mother Jill Stubbs Mills and asked for her blessing to take her short story, ‘Deception’, and rewrite it into a novel. (The feedback from her publisher about her story was exceptional). Jill agreed to her son’s request. Sadly, Jill now suffers with dementia, but, keeps her sense of humour.

Various forms of employment, including a movie extra, a welder on a crocodile farm, a drummer for a touring band and currently a roof plumber, gave Darren considerable ‘fuel’, for a fired up, comedic novel.

Darren has had several passions over the past 56 years while walking this Earth. Drums, Karate, tennis and continuing today- comedic writing.

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