Posts Tagged ‘comedy’

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Rewrites of the Heart

by Terry Newman

Genre: Paranormal Romantic Comedy

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JJ Spritely, romance author, writes characters that jump off the page. Figuratively, that is. She never expects them to make a literal leap smack dab into her world. But Alex Zurich and Blake Teesdale do just that. And they’re on a mission to help JJ write her own personal love story with a man she recently met, Kennedy King Cooper.

A history professor, Cooper doesn’t see the value of romance novels and he has even less regard for those who write them. Until he meets a woman who haunts his thoughts.

There’s only one small snag in Alex’s and Blake’s plan…okay…two rather large snags. JJ wants nothing to do with Cooper. The other snag? Alex and Blake aren’t able to return to the pages of their own book.

Will JJ and Cooper write their own love story? And will Alex and Blake find their way back to their own world?

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What makes a good story?

 

A story lives or dies by its characters. There seems to be an age-old debate about whether a novel is plot-driven or character-driven. Without three-dimensional likeable characters, there isn’t a story. If the reader doesn’t like your hero, whether it’s a romance or a mystery, then they won’t care about what happens to them. The plot doesn’t matter.

 

But the best stories, I believe, are those that have a cast of likeable, well-rounded characters. If you can write supporting characters who the readers cheer when they enter a scene, then you’ve got a great story.

 

What are you currently reading?

 

I just finished reading The Love Hypothesis, and Love on the Brain, both by Ali Hazelwood. If you love romantic comedies, then you’ll want to grab up these books. I love her writing style. I’ve also recently finished Boyfriend Material, and Husband Material by Alexis Hall. I highly recommend them both.

 

If your book had a candle, what scent would it be?

 

I can’t believe I had to think about this. It would be a coffee scent. Of course. Everyone in all my books drinks coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. (And you thought I was going to say something romantic, like rose petals.)

 

What did you edit out of this book?

I edited several chapters from other characters’ points of view. I was so into creating all my friends, that I wanted each one to have a say in the book. I gave Deb Dilley, the history department secretary, a couple of chapters. I also gave the department chair, Dr. Thomas Chare, several chapters. They are both wonderful supporting characters with personalities of their own.

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Two things you should know about me: I have an offbeat sense of humor and characters are constantly talking to me, trying to get me to tell their stories. Other than that, I’m a normal person.

I’ve spent most of my adult life writing in some fashion, from small-town reporter, to editor-in-chief and ghostwriter for a national natural health publishing firm. The last decade and a half I’ve worked as a freelance writer, penning ebooks that range from starting a doula services business to Native American herbs.

I’ve finally took the plunge to fiction after pushing oh, so many doubts aside. My first novel with The Wild Rose Press, Heartquake, won a 4.5 crowned heart review with Ind’tale Magazine.

All my books are set in fictional towns in northeast Ohio, where I grew up, and I write about things I love—like coffee.

I have a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy and live in North Lima, a real town in northeast Ohio with all my characters. Yes, it does get crowded.

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For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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At Last

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Seven Brides for Seven Mothers, #8)
Publication date: February 1st 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Queen Charlotte of Malquar has been hard at work setting up all her children, but so far, she’s been unable to find someone for Sophie.

Princess Sophie was supposed to be the second royal sibling to marry, but she broke her engagement when she found out her fiancé was cheating on her.

Sophie has all but given up hope of finding her own fairytale ending. That is, until a mystery bouquet of roses shows up at the palace. The note says they’re from Arlo Hammond. After years of pining for the man she thought was her everlasting love, Sophie finally released all thoughts of Arlo, only to have him show up again thirteen years later. Why?

Will Arlo’s explanation win Sophie’s forgiveness? Will she give him another chance and find her own happy ending at last? Or will the heartache of the past be too much to forgive?

Find out in the final installment of Dineen’s bestselling and deliciously romantic Seven Brides for Seven Mothers series!

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Curling up on my living room sofa, I snuggle under my favorite cashmere throw before picking up the telephone. After punching in the number, I smile when I hear the voice of my dearest friend from university days. “Sophie!” Avery sounds both surprised and delighted. “It’s been ages. How are you?”

“I’m confused,” I tell her bluntly.

“The farthest fork out is for the fish course,” she teases.

“Ha ha ha.” I love how easily we fall into old banter. It’s always been like this between us. But of course, I didn’t call to chit chat. “Do you remember Arlo Hammond?”

I hear her choke on what I’m guessing is her morning coffee. Having grown up in the States, Aves never was one for tea. “Of course I remember. But I thought he was old news.”

“He’s been sending me flowers once a month for the last seven months.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“I figured I’d wait to see if he said anything interesting.”

“And?”

I hear a sharp knock, which I’m hoping is someone from the kitchen with the decadent sweet breads I’ve ordered. Even though my waistline doesn’t need the indulgence, I’m still going to enjoy them. “Hold on, Aves,” I tell her before getting up to retrieve my breakfast.

Padding across my living room rug in bare feet, I pull the door open. My enthusiasm vanishes when I see that my visitor is not from the kitchen. It’s my mother. “What are you doing here?” I greet none too politely.

“Good morning to you, too.” She pushes her way through the door.

“I’m on an important call, Mum. I can’t chat right now.” If I tell her who I’m talking to, she’ll simply demand to get on the phone and have her own conversation with Avery.

Stopping in her tracks next to the trestle table against the wall in my foyer, she says, “I see you received the flowers that arrived yesterday.”

“I did.” When she doesn’t immediately respond, I add, “Is there any way we can talk later? I really need to get back to my call. It’s rather important.” Let her assume I’m planning the next big charity event, and child literacy itself is at stake. Participating in charitable events is nearly all I do as a working royal, and while I know it’s an important contribution, it sometimes bores me to the bone.

“I’ll be in the parlor between ten and eleven,” she tells me before backtracking toward the door. Before she walks through it, she adds, “I’ll expect you at ten.”

“I’ll do what I can, Mum.” I’m about to shut the door when I spot the serving girl from the kitchen walking down the hall with my breakfast. I indicate that I’m leaving the door open for her before hurrying back to the couch.

As soon as I pick up the phone, I hear Avery yelling at someone, “Not there! I asked you to put them in the linen closet.”

“Who are you lording it over?” I ask with a laugh.

“My husband, of course. We’re only now getting down to the business of unpacking all the bedding.”

“But you’ve been married and in the house for over six months,” I tell her.

“You know me, Soph, I’m not that fussy. I’m okay with washing the old sheets and then returning them to the bed. However, my mother-in-law feels that kind of bohemian nonsense isn’t good enough for her Tony. She made me register for six sets of linens and now I have to store them all. I should dump them off at her house.”

I don’t even have that many extra sheets,” I tell her.

“I venture you don’t have any idea how many sheets there are in that castle you call home. But you didn’t call me to talk about bedding. You called about Arlo.”

As the server pushes the trolley over the threshold, I motion for her to leave it there before mouthing a quick thank you. When she shuts the door behind her, I ask my friend, “What is he doing getting in touch after all these years?”

“You can’t guess?”

“Avery, what happened between us was over thirteen years ago. It barely even started before it was over.”

“You talked about him constantly for two years,” she reminds me.

It’s true, I did. Arlo Hammond made a huge impact on my life in a very short amount of time, but there was no way there could ever have been anything between us. “I did what I was supposed to do, and I forgot him.”

Why were you supposed to forget him again?”

“Avery Flemming, you know perfectly well.”

“What I know is that your parents are much more open-minded than you give them credit for.”

I don’t give her the satisfaction of agreeing with her. I simply say, “Maybe …”

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

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Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for Last Chance organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.

Author Darren E. Watling will be awarding a $15 Amazon or B&N Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Don’t forget to enter!

And you can click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Last Chance

by Darren E. Watling

Genre: Comedy / Sci-fi

Synopsis

The earth’s epilogue was a forgone conclusion.

Our World selects seven of the best human beings that man, woman, and other could put their faith in, to ensure human existence, each displaying traits of a master in his/hers/its field.

However, not all traits are in the best interest of humankind.

Out of this World places seven hospital patients on a Plan B shuttle. Life was difficult on Earth. A new planet presents new problems. The ex-Fruit and Nut Friendly Psychiatric Hospital patients are up for the challenge.

Into the Other World—The Twist. Not only a mid-1900s dance, it is also associated with a lemon, a warped shape, a frame of mind, a warped frame of mind, a face you pull from sucking lemons and an end of story, unexpected finish, not to be given away, glancing at the back cover.

Enjoy this peek inside:

“The court versus Jarred Pork,” the bailiff announced.

“Another serious offence. Jaywalking again. Unbelievable. What have you got to say for yourself, hmm? Well? Speak up, speak up,” the judge said, his thick and fearsome eyebrows alternating up and down.

“If the court pleases, Your Honour . . .” Sid, the defence lawyer, started.

“I’m not too pleased so far but ‘carry on, Sid’.”

“I’m the accused’s attorney. I will speak for Jarred as the accused is mute.”

The judge gave a heavy sigh and adjusted his black gown. “Very well, continue.”

“Jarred went out looking for his husband, as he hadn’t returned with an asthma puffer for their great-grandson., Wheelchair-bound, Jarred left the child with a trusting neighbour. As Jarred left their tiny unit, the red-bearded, dreadlocked kiddies friend, Molly Lester sang a kiddie song, and everyone assumed the child was safe, sport. (It is said Molly was heard on the phone: Hey, Dad! Bring Bill over. I’ve got another one. Presumably, another child to nurture, teach and explain what fine examples of human beings they are).

“I’ve heard enough from that man’s/woman’s/its mouth. Guilty! Throw away the key, like a rapper!” “Next, and this better be good, Johnny,” Clint said, as Sid swapped out and Johnny became the new defence lawyer.

“You sure are a weird lawyer Johnny, but I like you.”

“The court versus Harlett Sexton Action. The Honourable Judge Clint Eros presiding,” the bailiff stated.

“Oh, you poor thing. What have they got you in here for?” the judge showing compassion to the DD’s.

Harlette continued chewing gum as she spoke, “Well, Clinty, I’m pretty sure it’s a case of mistaken identity. I was on my way to make another porn movie, and the next thing I remember was a police officer saying I hit something or something.”

“You have a very strong defence Miss Action,” the unbiased judge claimed. “Let the prosecution begin.”

From chapter ‘Clint’ part three – Into the Other World

About Author Darren E. Watling:

Born Darren Edward Watling, Subiaco, Western Australia, 1966. Darren excelled in English, maintaining ‘A’s, throughout his schooling and wrote a play, ‘Laughing Gas’, for his school at the age of 10. Credited with one small, published article, Darren found inspiration and reward, arriving at his latest piece, ‘Last Chance’.

He completed an apprenticeship, as a fitter, at Princess Margaret Hospital, while continuing his passion for short story writing.

Traveling Australia for three years on a private bus gave Darren a beginning to the experiences and continued, humorous outlook he has on life.

Darren approached his mother Jill Stubbs Mills and asked for her blessing to take her short story, ‘Deception’, and rewrite it into a novel. (The feedback from her publisher about her story was exceptional). Jill agreed to her son’s request. Sadly, Jill now suffers with dementia, but, keeps her sense of humour.

Various forms of employment, including a movie extra, a welder on a crocodile farm, a drummer for a touring band and currently a roof plumber, gave Darren considerable ‘fuel’, for a fired up, comedic novel.

Darren has had several passions over the past 56 years while walking this Earth. Drums, Karate, tennis and continuing today- comedic writing.

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The Wedding Laughbox

by Julia Kent

 

(Shopping for a Billionaire, #3)
Publication date: November 8th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

The Wedding Laughbox contains FIVE full-length novels and ONE ALL NEW NOVELLA! – from a variety of New York Times bestselling romantic comedy author Julia Kent’s series.

It’s wedding season, and what’s better than a wedding in rom com style?

Julia Kent’s madcap style, that is.

How about a campground double wedding with three grooms and two brides? (What? Yep…) Or a billionaire and his betrothed escaping their own wedding to flee to Vegas? Paparazzi galore and a stubborn father of the groom ruining a CEO’s planned nuptials until he takes matters into his own hands and does love his way? A disgruntled older sister watching her sister find wedded bliss and maybe, just maybe, finding her own love with a rival billionaire?

With five different stories you get bridezillas, momzillas — even a billionaire dadzilla – with over-the-top fun and lush, luxurious settings, all wrapped up in community, connection, and loads of fun.

This boxed set includes:

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife

Shopping for a CEO’s Wife

It’s Always Complicated

Random Acts of Love

Hasty

And an ALL NEW novella featuring Will and Mallory from the book Fluffy, as they go on their honeymoon and discover that life is nothing but a series of coincidences as their past comes back to haunt them with hilarious results.

Sink into SIX humor-filled books that pour you into wedding planning, bachelorette and bachelor parties, give you all the wedding jitters and proud family moments, all wrapped up in a huge boxed set you can sink into and find your way to long-term love.

Note: each of these books can be read as a standalone, but they are part of larger series. All of my Laughbox boxed sets are designed to give readers a taste of my books, centered on a specific concept (in this case, weddings). Full disclosure for readers.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

 

About Author Julia Kent:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.
From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at julia@jkentauthor.com, on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

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Hate, Rinse, Repeat
by Whitney Dineen and Melanie Summers

 

(A Gamble on Love Mom-Com, #3)
Publication date: October 28th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Christmas is a time for hate…

Maisy Moore is not looking forward to the holiday season. As owner of the only hair salon in Gamble, Alaska, she’ll be run off her feet helping her clients get dolled up for Christmas and New Years Eve parties. Parties she’ll never be invited to.

But that’s not the worst of it. As a single mom, she knows she still won’t be able to give her seven-year-old son, Jack, the kind of magical Christmas his classmates get. Telling him how much she loves him will only get a kid that age so far. If only she could give him what he really wants—to know who his dad is.

The last thing Maisy needs is for NHL star Chase Evans to come waltzing back into town like he’s God’s gift to women. But that’s exactly what Chase does.

After a taking a crosscheck from behind, Chase’s season is over. Instead of scoring goals, he’s recovering from shoulder surgery, and according to his mother, there’s no better place to recover than home. Because let’s face it, basking in the glow of local adoration won’t be too bad. There are no fans quite like hometown fans.

The last thing Chase expects is to find Maisy Moore still single. He decides to see if maybe they could rekindle their brief romance that occurred the night of their ten-year high school reunion. But when he tries to talk to her, he discovers Maisy’s feelings of lust have turned to loathing. And he’s determined to find out why.

Will Maisy manage to keep the identity of her son a secret? Will there be a holiday miracle that will reunite two hard-headed lovers? Will the BOGO special on shampoo and conditioner be a hit?

Find out in the deliciously funny and ridiculously romantic final installment of the Love is a Gamble Mom-Com Series.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Childhood can be hard at the best of times. But when your name rhymes with crazy, lazy, hazy, daisy, and Swayze—as in Patrick—it’s worse than you can imagine. Here are a few phrases I heard ad nauseum during my formative years:

“It’s crazy Maisy with the lazy eye!” Corrective glasses fixed the eye, but there’s no coming back from such an abysmal start to your school years. Kind of like if you wore a body brace in middle school, you will always be the girl who wore the body brace in middle school. And if you wore a body brace and had a lazy eye? It was no picnic, let me tell you.

An actual allergy to allergy medication—you can’t make this stuff up—was to blame for my third-grade teacher often complaining, “Maisy was a little hazy today.”

I have Dr. Seuss to thank for, “It’s Daisy Head Maisy!” That’s right, his first posthumous book was gunning for me. I turned down free tickets to Seussical (the musical) because of it.

Finally, my least favorite and most often heard—thank you, Chase Evans—“Maisy Swayzeee, wassup?!” This one was often accompanied by, “Nobody puts Maisy in the corner.”

Being that I live in the town where I grew up, I’m often reminded of my past nicknames. Owning the only hair salon in Gamble, Alaska, means old classmates and their mothers are always hanging around (and bringing their hilarious memories of me with them—Remember that time your back brace got caught in the monkey bars?).

If having a challenging start to life wasn’t enough, I’ve made one or two questionable decisions along the way that have added to my troubles. The first being that the father of my son does not know he’s the father of my son.

I know, I know, “secret baby” is by far the worst romance trope. As romance novels are my only social life, I read a ton of them. And even before I got pregnant with Jack, I always passed on the secret baby ones. I mean, who keeps a secret that big?

Short answer—me. But I have my reasons. More on that later because I’ve got much bigger problems these days.

 

 

Author Bio:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Author links
Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.

Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts Series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas, and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.

In her previous life (i.e. before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally – then she’ll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for ‘K’ Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn’t require makeup and/or nylons).

Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she’s not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something–more like just staying until they turn the lights off.

She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International.

Author links
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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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Queen of Hearts

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Seven Brides for Seven Mothers, #6)
Publication date: October 14th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

* All books in this series read as standalones.

Queen Charlotte of Malquar has a talent. She’s already helped two of her children find mates, and now she’s convinced her daughter’s new secretary would be a perfect partner for her remaining single son.

Agnes Dupuis has a plan. She’s going to work for the royal family for a couple of years before opening her own upscale employment agency. When she starts her job with Princess Aubrey, she knows everything is on track. After a short time, she gets transferred to the crown prince’s staff, and she couldn’t be more ecstatic.

At thirty-five, Prince Andrew knows it’s past time for him to find a bride. Unfortunately, it’s a nearly impossible task. While he would like to marry for love, it doesn’t look like that will be an option. His future wife will be queen one day and she must have all the necessary skill sets to thrive in that role.

Sparks fly when Agnes and Drew start to work together. Drew fights his attraction for his new secretary as hard as he can. Meanwhile, Agnes doesn’t know what she’s doing wrong. She can’t seem to do anything to make the prince happy.

Will Queen Charlotte be responsible for another match? Or are Agnes and Drew destined to forever butt heads.

Find out in the deliciously fun sixth installment of the Seven Brides for Seven Mothers Series

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Sir, I have the update you requested on McMillian.” In the month that I’ve been Prince Andrew’s secretary, I can count on one hand the number of times he’s looked at me when I’m speaking. Currently, I’m attempting to communicate with his back.

Waving his hand in the air in what I can only construe as a dismissive manner, he says, “Leave it on my desk and I’ll read it later.”

“It’s not a written update.” Try as I might, I can’t keep the edge from my voice. While the rest of the royal family treat me kindly, Andrew has never been so inclined. He acts like I’m his own personal robot who doesn’t require basic courtesy.

He continues to face the window, allowing me the opportunity to study him. He’s taller than most at three inches over six feet, with proud broad shoulders, and short dark hair so thick a bird could nest in it—there’s something about my new boss’s appearance that brings to mind Disney’s Prince Charming. It was Cinderella who had the bird fetish, right?

“Then put it in writing and leave it on my desk.” The sharpness of his tone snatches me from the precipice of the illusion that Andrew might have Charming’s personality. No, nothing charming here.

“Yes, sir.” I shift on my heels as I start to feel a blister forming. These infernal stilettos. I could wear sporting shoes to work for all Prince Andrew would ever notice. “Will that be all, sir?”

He abruptly turns around and glares at me, his penetrating brown eyes practically nailing me to the floor. “No, that’s not all. Will McMillian be coming back to work soon?”

“Um … well … I wouldn’t think so. He’s still in San Francisco receiving treatments for his Parkinson’s disease.”

The prince grunts loudly. “Has his replacement been found yet?”

Is this guy a moron? “I’m his replacement, sir. I thought you knew that.” My spine straightens, making me very close to his own height with my new shoes.

“I was under the impression you were a temp.” His eyebrow cocks in such a supercilious manner, it’s all I can do not to punch him.

“I started out that way, but I was informed last week that I was doing such a good job I was being made a permanent member of your staff.” Put that in your pipe …

“Who told you that?” he demands angrily. Instead of letting me answer that the Master of Household himself told me, Andrew continues, “As far as I’m concerned, you are not permanent.”

How in the world am I supposed to respond to that? The whole point of me working in the royal household is to make a strong enough connection to open my own employment agency. Once I do that, I’ll be able to supply staff to the palace. The only way that’s going to happen is to impress my current boss. The same man who appears to hate me.

So, while I want to take my shoe off and smack Andrew over the head with the sharp pointed heel, I force myself to ask, “Is there something you’d like me to do that I’m not currently doing?”

His glare darkens as he takes a step forward. I stand rooted to the floor, unable to look away. “You’re a woman.”

“How astute of you.” Yes, my response is snotty, but I’ve had just about enough of being treated like a disposable entity by this patronizing man.

“Excuse me?” Another step.

“Prince Andrew, my being a woman in no way hinders my ability to perform my duties with precision. In fact, I would argue that my being a woman makes me more efficient.”

“How do you figure that?” How in the world did I have a crush on this arrogant beast throughout my entire adolescence? I don’t care how gorgeous he is, the prince is not a nice man. Let me rephrase that. He’s not nice to me. He seems to love everyone else.

“Women are much better multi-taskers than men.” I raise one finger in the air to start ticking off my points. Another finger goes up. “We’re very attuned to details …” More join in. “We’re empathetic, nurturing, and are able to see more than what is required of us.” If I don’t stop talking now, I may truly be out of a job.

“And you’re saying these qualities are inherent to your sex? That men do not possess them?” If he walks any closer to me, he’ll be standing behind me.

I force my gaze up to meet his. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“Prove it.”

I reach up and pick an invisible piece of fluff from his collar. “Your shirt is starting to fray.” I turn my gaze back to his in a challenging manner. “Your valet is a man, is he not?”

“You know he is.”

“If your valet were a woman, you would be wearing an impeccable shirt with no sign of wear.” That may or may not be an accurate statement as I’ve made up the sorry condition of his apparel. It appears that women can also be liars when it suits them.

“Are you now applying for the job of my valet?” I know he’s being facetious, but I can’t help the stirring I feel at the thought of what that job would entail. Assisting Andrew in the bath or shower if needed, helping him to go from a naked state to a clothed one, undressing him for bed at night … Its getting hot in here.

“I don’t want Finnley’s job. I’m merely saying that women are more detail oriented. That’s all.”

“I leave my bedchamber at eight o’clock every morning.”

“How lovely for you.” I mean, seriously, what else am I going to say?

“You will now meet me there at seven forty-five and inspect my clothing for any imperfections before I start my day.”

“But I don’t come to work until nine.” Surely, he doesn’t expect me to get here early to make sure another member of his staff is doing his job.

“You now arrive at seven thirty so that you can get to my rooms by seven forty-five.” He leans down so menacingly, if he were a tiger, I’d be afraid for my life. “That is, if you want to keep your position. If you’re unable to do so, I’ll gladly hire a man to replace you.”

So that’s his game. He’s actively looking for a way to get rid of me. If the success of my future agency wasn’t on the line, I’d turn around and walk out of his office without a backward glance. Unfortunately, that action will not aid my plans. “Would you like me to bring your coffee up with me?” I mean, hell, if I’m moonlighting as his valet’s helper, maybe he wants me to take on some kitchen duties.

“I think I can trust the kitchen to deliver my coffee.” He cocks his head to the side, before adding, “Unless you care to complain about them, as well.”

I shake my head vigorously, hoping to activate some good sense. I really don’t need to get into any more trouble. I look at my watch and see that it’s nearing five. “If I’m expected back here so early, I’ll head out now.”

“I’m afraid I’ll still need you here until six o’clock every day.”

Being that I’ve never seen him past our four o’clock meeting since the day I started working for him, I’m certain this is a lie. Which of course can only mean one thing.

Prince Andrew has just declared war on me.

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

 

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I am so excited that BAR TALES- A BARTENDER’S STORY VOL1 by A.J. Anthony is available now and that I get to share the news! 

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If you haven’t yet heard about this wonderful book, be sure to check out all the details below.

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This blitz also includes a giveaway  for a Kindle Paperwhite, a $25 Amazon GC, or more amazing prizes courtesy of A.J. Anthony! So if you’d like a chance to win, check out the giveaway info below.
Hosted by Rockstar Book Tours.

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About The Book:

BAR TALES- A BARTENDER’SSTORY VOL1

by Author: A.J. Anthony

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Pub. Date: October 3, 2022

Publisher: Fab Media

Formats:  Hardcover, Paperback, eBook, Audiobook

Pages: 312

Find it: GoodreadsAmazon, Kindle, Audible, Spanish Edition (Relatos de un Bar – La Historia de un Cantinero Vol. 1)

 

Read for
FREE with a Kindle Unlimited Membership!

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24 years ago, Beau Garrett brawled
with and then abandoned his best friend to die a needless death. A deceitful
coverup that still haunts him to this day. Unbeknownst to the unscrupulous nightclub
owner, the dead man’s son, Sean Collins, is his cabaret’s best bartender,
hellbent on revenge. Can Sean uncover the truth and bring down Beau before his
own demise? Strap in for a fun and wild ride.

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Dark…Humorous…Captivating. Magic Mike meets Breaking Bad.

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Bar Tales, A Bartender’s Story Vol.1, is a fast-paced, erotic dramedy featuring Sean Collins, accountant turned bartender. Experience the decadence through the eyes of a former
industry insider, without the guilt, hangovers, and peril. Reader indiscretion is advised.

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Get the FREE Cocktail Recipe & Companion Book at: https://BookHip.com/SQSSCSG
Join to get updates, chances to win merch and other great prizes.

 

 

Excerpt from Chapter 11:

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Sean felt numbness in his arms and an intense chill
throughout his body. Looking up, he saw that his hands were bound together and
that he was dangling from a hook like a beef carcass. He turned his head to the
right which caused him to rotate slightly. Out of the corner of his eye, he
could see another figure hanging next to him. He contorted his body to get a
better look. It was Crystal. She was severely beaten and drenched in blood. Her
face was almost unrecognizable. He examined her further and saw flaps of flesh hanging
down her chest. The massive implants had apparently been cut out. Above that
carnage, NO MAS was crudely carved into her chest arching over
the gruesome handiwork. Sean’s stomach churned. Oh shit time to pay for
fucking the bosses wife.

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Coky entered the walk-in freezer wearing a butcher’s apron, carrying a chainsaw. 

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“Bueno, you’re awake. I want you to see this.” 

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Coky pulled on the starter cord once, twice, three times, and
it fired up. The familiar, now horrifying buzz of the saw filled Sean’s ears. Gas
exhaust clouded the room. The roar alerts Crystal. Her head bobs up and her
eyes open wide. She wiggled but is dangling helplessly. Coky stepped up to her
and revved up the saw.

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“I’m sorry hermosa, bosses orders. I will make it quick for you.” 

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“No Coky, this is all on me!” Sean pleaded…

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About A J Anthony:

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A J Anthony
is a San Francisco Bay Area native, where he bartended for over 15 years in a
variety of pubs, restaurants and night clubs. In Bar Tales – A Bartender’s
Story Vol. 1, he integrates and weaves his years of “interesting”,
real-world experiences into this work.

In addition
to this genre, he also has sci-fi and flash-fiction projects in the works. A J
is also a graphic designer and audio book narrator. In addition to writing, he
enjoys art, tennis and auto-crossing car racing.

He currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona with his wife and three cats.

“I hope you will listen to and/or read my novel entitled Bar Tales – A Bartender’s
Story Vol. 1. I filled it with many of my actual experiences I’ve accumulated
over the years in the trenches, woven into a compelling story with rich
characters. I call it my auto-barography. I’ve also created a companion book
loaded with lots of fun and interesting extras.”

– AJ Anthony

Subscribe to AJ’s Newsletter!

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | TikTok | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon

 

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Giveaway hosted by A.J. Anthony

Prizes:

(1) Kindle Paperwhite – Waterproof (ARV $110)

(2) $25 Amazon Gift Card (2 Winners, ARV 2x$25)

(1) Bar Tales NHBC T-shirt from Fab Media (https://fabmedia.myspreadshop.com/) (ARV
$27.95)

(1) Bar Tales Autographed Hardcover Book (ARV $24.95)

(1) Bar Tales Audiobook (ARV $19.95)

Ends January 2, 2023, midnight EST. 

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For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

 

Pride and Piña Coladas

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by Melanie Summers

 

(Paradise Bay, #5)
Publication date: September 22nd 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

From best-selling author Melanie Summers comes a enemies-to-lovers tale that’ll have you laughing, swooning, and blending up a pitcher of fruity girl drinks…

I’m Nora Cooper—single woman about to turn thirty, wildly unsuccessful plant fanatic, and event planner at Paradise Bay Resort. My shot at ‘the big time’ has finally arrived—the resort is hosting the World Bartender Championships and I’ve been asked to head up the hospitality team.

There’s only one big problem. And his name is Theo Rojas. You’ve heard of his family—they own Rojas Rum (and about 200 other premium liquors, some of which may be on your shelf right now). As the major sponsor of the event, Theo has decided to be onsite, micromanaging every second of the competition.

He’s stuck up, rude, and arrogant (and a bunch of other adjectives I had better not use). He also seems to have added ‘make Nora’s life absolute hell’ to the top of his to-do list.

Too bad for Mr. Grumpy Chinos because he doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. I’ve taken on far worse foes than him. And if he thinks he’s going to get the best of me, he’s in for a wake-up call.

So when we find ourselves stranded on a private island overnight, I’m determined to put him in his place once and for all.

Only somehow, instead of continuing our constant sparring, we wind up kissing. And I did NOT expect him to kiss like that.

And now I have totally forgotten all the nasty things I was planning to say to him. Something about him being arrogant, right?

Gah! Someone please send help because I absolutely CANNOT fall for this guy…

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

She’s completely flustered, and I have to say I’m enjoying this more than I should. But hey, she’s accused me of some pretty rotten things, so I’d say it’s only fair.

“Nothing… I don’t know. But now that we’re stranded here, I’m off the clock, so for the next however many hours we’re stuck here together, I’m not an events coordinator, and you’re not a guest who…needs things. We’re just two people who happen to be stranded in the same villa. So, don’t think you can tell me to get out of my wet clothes, because I’ll decide if and when I’m going to take my clothes off!”

“Someone clearly thinks highly of herself if she’s suggesting I want to get her naked,” I say before pursing my lips.

Nora gasps. “She does not!”

I shrug. “If you say so, but it really did seem like it when you said that whole thing about not ‘giving it to me,’ when the only reason I suggested getting out of our wet clothes is because you’re shivering and I came across a couple of plush bathrobes in the closet when I went to find the towels.”

“Oh,” she says, dropping her shoulders a little.

“There’s also a washing machine and a dryer, so I’m planning to launder my things, but if you want to stay—” I point to her—“as you are, suit yourself. I am going to have a hot shower.”

Her teeth start to chatter, but she still has that stubborn look on her face. “I can see how that would be a reasonable idea.”

“Is that your way of apologizing?”

“I don’t owe you an apology,” she snaps.

“Don’t you? Where I come from, when we make false accusations, we apologize and then commit to not doing it again,” I tell her. And before I can stop myself, I add, “But perhaps that’s only common courtesy among the top one percent of the world.”

Her cheeks turn bright red and she sputters, “You know what? I am going to have a shower. A nice, long one, but not because you told me to. Because I want to.”

“Have fun, Captain Justice,” I murmur when she turns to leave the room.

That did it. She does a U-turn. “Captain Justice?” she hisses.

“I’d say that suits someone who thinks she’s the paragon of all things just in this world, listening to only one side of a story and casting judgment on who’s right and who’s the devil.” Okay, so now I’m just being a jerk, but at this point, I don’t care. “Or should I call you Captain Jumps to Conclusions, based on you accusing me of trying to get you into bed just now?”

“Captain Jumps to Conclusions? Do you even hear yourself? That’s quite possibly the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said in the history of speaking!”

“Captain Accusations, then?” I ask calmly.

“You are the most rude, most arrogant, entitled man I’ve ever met!” she shouts, moving towards me until she’s so close she has to tilt her head back to look up at me. “You should be called Captain Thinks His Shit Doesn’t Stink!”

I scoff, leaning closer to her. “It’s not so easy, is it? Coming up with sarcastic super-hero names when you’re angry.”

“No, it’s not!” she yells.

“Exactly! So don’t make fun of my attempt,” I yell back, too angry to laugh at the level of insanity we’ve reached.

I stare down at her face, only inches from mine. She’s still shivering, and even though I’m furious, I want to wrap my arms around her and warm her up. Or kiss her hard on the mouth. Or both.

.

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Author Melanie Summers:

Melanie Summers also writes steamy romance as MJ Summers.

Melanie made a name for herself with her debut novel, Break in Two, a contemporary romance that cracked the Top 10 Paid on Amazon in both the UK and Canada, and the top 50 Paid in the USA. Her highly acclaimed Full Hearts Series was picked up by both Piatkus Entice (a division of Hachette UK) and HarperCollins Canada. Her first three books have been translated into Czech and Slovak by EuroMedia. Since 2013, she has written and published three novellas, and eight novels (of which seven have been published). She has sold over a quarter of a million books around the globe.

In her previous life (i.e. before having children), Melanie got her Bachelor of Science from the University of Alberta, then went on to work in the soul-sucking customer service industry for a large cellular network provider that shall remain nameless (unless you write her personally – then she’ll dish). On her days off, she took courses and studied to become a Chartered Mediator. That designation landed her a job at the R.C.M.P. as the Alternative Dispute Resolution Coordinator for ‘K’ Division. Having had enough of mediating arguments between gun-toting police officers, she decided it was much safer to have children so she could continue her study of conflict in a weapon-free environment (and one which doesn’t require makeup and/or nylons).

Melanie resides in Edmonton with her husband, three young children, and their adorable but neurotic one-eyed dog. When she’s not writing novels, Melanie loves reading (obviously), snuggling up on the couch with her family for movie night (which would not be complete without lots of popcorn and milkshakes), and long walks in the woods near her house. She also spends a lot more time thinking about doing yoga than actually doing yoga, which is why most of her photos are taken ‘from above’. She also loves shutting down restaurants with her girlfriends. Well, not literally shutting them down, like calling the health inspector or something–more like just staying until they turn the lights off.

She is represented by Suzanne Brandreth of The Cooke Agency International.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

 

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The Proposal Laughbox

by Julia Kent

 

(Laughbox Boxed Sets, #2)
Publication date: September 13th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

The Proposal Laughbox contains THREE full-length novels and TWO novellas – ONE ALL NEW! – from New York Times bestselling romantic comedy author Julia Kent’s series.

Who doesn’t love a funny, heartwarming proposal? Diamond engagement rings, flowers, candy, romantic dinners — it’s all in here in rom com style.

Julia Kent’s madcap style, that is.

Future brides swallow engagement rings, paparazzi crash tender moments when billionaires pop the question, mistaken identity causes mayhem, small-town lumberjacks ask their girfriends for their hands in marriage, and rock stars make grand gestures on New Year’s Eve.

Laugh, swoon, blush and let your imagination heat up as you read across varying series, different heat levels, but all connected by love.

This boxed set includes:

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Fiancee
Random Acts of New Year
Shopping for a CEO’s Fiancee (A USA Today bestseller)
Random Acts of Yes

and an ALL NEW novella, Love You Fiancee, featuring Kell and Rachel from Love You Right, as Kell pops the question during the I Will Always Love You festival in his hometown of “Love You,” Maine – where every day is Valentine’s Day.

Sink into five fun books that leave you with all the feels, loads of laughs, and strange looks from people around you as you read, giggle, and fall in love.

Note: each of these books can be read as a standalone, but they are part of larger series. All of my Laughbox boxed sets are designed to give readers a taste of my books, centered on a specific concept (in this case, proposals and engagements). Full disclosure for readers.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

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Enjoy this peek inside:

From Love You Fiancee

His lemur was limp.

And it was all his fault.

His and his alone.

That’s what Kell got for ordering a lemur costume online instead of finding a store and trying one on, or having one made to order. Two-day shipping was the biggest selling point, and though he’d bought the most expensive option, there hadn’t exactly been a plethora of choices.

Of all the bungles: He’d planned his marriage proposal down to the last detail, but forgot about the lemur costume until it was almost too late.

Leo the Limp Lemur would have to do.

 

Author Julia Kent:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.
From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at julia@jkentauthor.com, on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Bookbub / Newsletter / Amazon

 

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The Last One
by A.S. Kelly

 

61496683. sy475

Publication date: July 25th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Anya O’Donnell, and I’d like to declare myself guilty beyond all reasonable doubt.
Guilty of what, you ask?
Well, for starters, I’m guilty of lying to everyone for years; of pretending when I should have been showing them all who I really was, what I really wanted. I’m guilty of pushing away the only person who wanted to stay, convinced that, one day, he’d have left, anyway.
I told him we were a mistake.
I told him I was better off without him.
I told him that I didn’t love him.
And now I miss him. I miss his cups of tea and his stupid cheese crackers. I miss his clothes, strewn about the house. I miss the way he would watch me sleep. I miss his arms, holding me tightly each night, making me feel at home.
But now we’re both alone. And I’m scared.
I’m scared that he believed everything I told him; that he has no intention of coming back.

Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Owen McKenna, and I’m furious.
Why, you ask?
Well, because I decided to follow my heart and not my head. Because I didn’t listen to my friends or to their far-fetched theories. Because I left anyway – even when everyone was telling me to stay.
And now she doesn’t want me back. But I want her, desperately.
She’s the woman I’ve been waiting for. She’s incredibly sexy, and can make you laugh, even when you least want to. She’s never let anyone in, apart from me; and when she crumbles into my arms, it makes me feel like the only guy in the world.
But I ruined everything.
I let the L-word slip, and she panicked.
She told me things she didn’t even think – I know that. I know her.
I know that she’s scared, that she doesn’t want to take this risk. But I do. I’m ready.
I’m her exception.
I just need to make her see that, too.

Goodreads / Amazon

~~~~~

Enjoy this peek inside:

“Ms. O’Donnell.”
“What?”
“My surname. O’Donnell.”
“Mine is…”
“I didn’t ask. I’m telling you mine. You can call me Ms. O’Donnell.”
“Are you serious?”
“Good morning, Ms. O’Donnell. Or good evening, depending on the circumstance.”
“Can I wish you goodnight, too?”
“You’re not helping yourself.”
I laugh. I like winding her up – mainly because she doesn’t flinch.
“Are you telling me I can’t even say your name?”
“Only friends use my name.”
“And I’m not a friend?”
“No.”
“And I’ll never become a friend?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ve seen me naked. And usually, friends don’t see each other naked.”
“Is that one of your rules?”
“It’s just become one.”
“A special rule for me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not even my type.”
“What is your type?”
“That’s something I don’t share with strangers or acquaintances. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have work waiting for me.”
She slowly walks to the entrance, under my watchful gaze. I can’t help but fixate on the slinky, sensual movement of her hips.
“Ms. O’Donnell?” I call. She stops and looks around at me again.
“I hope you have a great day.”
“I thought it would be. Now I’m not so sure.”

Author A.S. Kelly

A. S. Kelly writes Rom-Com, Romantic Fiction and Family Saga.
Avid reader, hopeless romantic, lover of yoga, knitting and home baking.
She was born in Italy but lives in Ireland with her husband, two children and a cat named Oscar.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Newsletter

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