Archive for the ‘comedy’ Category

 

Pity Date

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Pity Series, #1)
Publication date: May 18th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Faith
I should’ve known it wouldn’t work out.

In all my twenty-nine years, life has never been smooth sailing when a man was involved. Astor Hill was everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner—handsome, successful, and interested in me. Until he started cheating. The cherry on the sundae is finding out the truth less than two weeks before we’re supposed to stand up for our best friends at their wedding.

When a staggeringly good-looking and kind stranger comes to town and offers to take me to the wedding, I jump at his proposal. Who cares if he’s gay? Astor doesn’t need to know that.

Teddy
She thinks I’m gay?!

I’m taking a vacation from Hollywood and going back to Elk Lake. My grandfather hasn’t been doing well after Gram died and he needs my support. Luckily, I’m between blockbuster movies so I can make the time.

My first stop is Rosemary’s Bakery for one of the gingersnaps I remember so fondly from my childhood. The only problem is that the girl at the counter has eaten them all. After spilling my tea on me, she bursts into tears and tells me her troubles. I should be annoyed but I’m oddly charmed.

I know what it’s like to be dumped by a cheater, so I do the only thing I can think of: I offer to take her to the wedding to make her ex jealous. Unfortunately, with the help of the tabloids, things quickly spiral out of control…

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Faith

I’ve had an invisible target painted on me that only members of the opposite sex can see. And boy are they determined to shoot me through the heart.

It started with Bobby McEntire in the first grade. My best friend, Anna, used to help me chase him around the playground as a way of declaring my undying devotion. He missed the point entirely and tripped me so that I fell face first into a mud puddle. That single act of war ended any love I’d once felt for him.

In the fourth grade, Kenny Franks caught my eye. He wasn’t the typical boy girls pined for, which made me think he could possibly share my feelings. He had moderately bucked teeth, a nose that turned up just enough to appear porcine, and he wore glasses. Surely, I was enough to catch the heart of one such as him.

Alas, when I asked him to be my boyfriend on Sadie Hawkins Day that same year, he laughed in my face. Laughed. At me. The disdain I felt lasted through our senior year in high school. When he approached me at a friend’s graduation party and asked why I hated him so much, I reverted to childish ways and threw my drink on him before walking away. How dare he forget his transgression?

Then there was that tourist I kissed—my first!—at a beach party the summer before my freshman year. I never got his name, nor did I see him any summers after that. I can’t really say what I felt for him was love, but a definite hormonal reaction took place. Also, I may have pretended that he was my long-distance boyfriend at Katie Ramsey’s big back to school sleepover the week before we entered the hallowed halls of Elk Creek High School. Go, Crappies!—as in the fish, not the poop emoji.

In high school, I was all about Adam Sanchez. Adam was so far out of my league, I knew nothing could ever come of us, but that didn’t stop my fantasies. I spent the whole four years imagining scenarios where he would claim me for his own. My favorite was the one where he strode into the lunchroom like a rock star taking center stage. He stopped right in front of me before loudly declaring my perfection to one and all. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to homecoming/prom/the spring formal—basically, whichever dance was on the horizon. None of that ever happened.

Obviously.

Junior year in college, I thought I’d found my life partner in Trevor Blake. Trevor was your typical tall, dark, and handsome specimen. He was sporty and studious. But more important than both of those things, he had a sense of humor that kept me laughing. The only problem was that after a year of dating, Trevor still hadn’t put any serious moves on me. When confronted with why, he claimed it was because he wanted us to save ourselves until we were married.

He saw us getting married, so, yay! But also, we did not live in Victorian times, so it was kind of hard to trust that was the real reason. In retrospect, I’m hugely grateful I didn’t believe him. A happenstance that was firmly cemented when I caught him making out with his roommate at a kegger their fraternity was throwing. As far as gaydar goes, I didn’t have any.

I dated a few different guys in my twenties, but none of them sent my heart into atrial fibrillation. I simply enjoyed going out with them while I was waiting for “the one.”

Enter Astor Hill. I knew he was it for me the night we met. One look at his sandy-haired Leonardo de Caprio (from Titanic) savoir faire, and my heart rate took off like a particularly vigorous Fourth of July fireworks display. Boom, boom, boom! Everything about him shouted he was destined to be Mr. Faith Reynolds. Although, I’m sure I would have taken his last name instead. I mean, Faith Hill worked so well for, you know … Faith Hill, that I was sure to have equal success. Even though I was no singer …

But then Astor showed his true colors and once again I was left behind. That’s when I should have probably converted to Catholicism and committed my life to God, a la the convent life.

I might have actually done that too, had it not been for the pity date …

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

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Gigi’s Monster Garage

Ghouls and Gals 
Book One
Loretta Kendall 
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Genre: Monster Romance, RomCom
Publisher: Loretta Kendall 
Date of Publication: April 16th
ASIN: B0BZJXVWZZ
Number of pages: 306
Word Count: 89,000
Cover Artist: LK Creative 
 
Tagline:  “I’m a rockabilly love’n, hot-to-trot mechanic with a need for speed. A little sass and not much class, but I’ll keep you entertained and your car in the lane.” ~ Gigi Stein
 
Synopsis
 
Take a wild ride with Gigi, the former bride of Frank N. Stein, as she navigates the world of rat rod racing and explores the unfamiliar territory of understanding love. With a sassy rockabilly style and a lot of attitude, this stitched-up bad girl will capture your heart with lots of laughs along the way. Join her and her misfit friends, including an adorable Venus flytrap who can be a little naughty. Be careful and read the warning signs in the lobby – Molly Sue bites!
 
Get ready for motor-revving action as Gigi discovers the truth of the lost romance of her human past, uncovering a hidden agenda for why she’s not like others of her kind. Made for humans and monsters alike, Frank-n-people are nothing more than entertainment and sensual gratification for their owners, created by a madman. Not accepting that as her fate, this undead girl is blazing a path of her own.
 
With the mad scientist Victor’s decision to grant Gigi free will, she has mustered up enough strength to part ways with her abusive ex-husband, following a cataclysmic event that forces vintage horror monsters into the human realm. When she crosses paths with Fox Adams – a lonely human drifter, he wants to work alongside the beautiful, green-skinned drag racing icon in her infamous monster garage. Confused by the attraction to a man with dreams of racing stardom, it forces her to look into who her host body really is if she wants a future with Fox. Together, they form an unlikely bond that will show her she wasn’t just made to be a living Frank-n-mate doll. She was made for love.
 
 

 

Enjoy this peek inside:

“…It’s
not good for people to have to dwell on death.”

Dropping
her head to fiddle with her garage jumper’s zipper, she let out a breath.

“I worry
about that. Some girls get deactivated when they remember their past.
Frank-n-people can go mad when they remember how they died. They become obsessed
with who they were before.”

Taking his
eyes off the road for a moment, Fox wasn’t about to hear that. “Hell, no. I
won’t let them de-animate you. They’ll have to kill me before I let that
happen.”

In a fit
of sudden anger at the thought, Fox pulled to the side of the road with tires
screeching. The old truck’s body shook violently as it came to a stop and dust
from the roadside swirled around them.

The dirt
that wafted in through the air vents made her choke as she looked at Fox like he’d
lost his ever loven’ mind.

“Are you
nuts? What is wrong with you?”

“I won’t
let them do that to you. You’re not undead, Gigi. I’ve seen others like you.
Those other creations are just basically walking, talking drones. You are
nothing like them. You have a soul with real-life emotions and a beating
heart.”

“That’s
not true, Fox. I was made for Frank. He only wanted sex and a maid, so that was
my design. It may not have been exactly what he ordered, but it’s how it is.
Girls like me are made to serve. That’s it.”

“Really?
Then why is it you have free will? Why are you not still bowing down to his
every whim? And why the hell was he the only Frank-n-man to have a mate made
for him since the original Frankenstein monsters? I’ve seen enough of those sex
dolls to know they do whatever their masters say. You don’t call him master,
nor do you ever refer to him as anything other than an abusive asshole. That,
and whatever other choice word you can think of. If you were made for him, you
wouldn’t hate him so much.”

“So, I’m
just… stronger than the others. Maybe I’m a defective model.”

Fox nodded
in agreement to that because she was right. “Yeah, you are. And for whatever
reason, your creator let you be an individual, and that defect is absolute
perfection. Maybe he didn’t want to see you as Frank’s slave. For whatever
reason, he made you unique. Dare I say… human.”

Gigi
didn’t know what to say. He was right, but no one had ever spoken to her like
that. Even her friends never brought up her creator in such a way, except for
Bear. She had wondered why she was different and why didn’t Victor keep to his
sex doll plans.

“You’re
special, stitches. And I for one, am thankful for it. You’re a kindhearted
soul, and whatever you’re afraid of with Frank, I’ll fight to the death to
protect you. I know Bear would too because that guy sees you like his little
sister. He’s a good guy—you both are.”

“You barely
know me,” she pouted.

“Yeah, but
maybe I’m a man who sees you as more than just some sex toy to get off on.
Others might see you that way, but I don’t. If I ever had the pleasure of
making love to a woman as wonderful as you, it wouldn’t be about sex.”

“Oh yeah?
Then what would it be?” she asked with a snarky tone, but still wanting to
know.

Leaning
in, Fox traced his finger down her lightning bolt scar, making her eyes slam
shut expecting pain to come next. But it didn’t, making her curious as to why.
His fingers traced her scar like it was a precious beauty mark and a soft
breath escaped her lips when realizing he had no intention of hurting her.

When his lips grazed her earlobe, he answered,
“It would be pure ecstasy. I’d make you feel things no man ever could. I’d show
you what your heart wants, but you’re too afraid to see.”

 


 

About Author Loretta Kendall:

 
Loretta Kendall started her life with a dream and a story in her mind. For as long as she can remember, she was a storyteller, sharing tales with her friends from her overactive imagination.
 
After twenty-two years as an image consultant in the beauty and entertainment industry, the Indiana native revisited her childhood love for books while continuing working in photography and graphic arts. As a graphic designer she also spends her time creating book covers and marketing materials for advertising for clients.
 
She has been writing full time since 2017 following an amazing writing journey that led to the completion of several novellas, novels, serial stories on popular book apps, and anthologies. An award winning, traditional, and self-published author, Loretta has a passion for creating happily ever after romance stories with the perfect mix of steamy and slow burn moments. A hopeless romantic, she lives her own happily ever after of twenty-seven years of wedded bliss with her husband being a plant mom to her favorite Venus flytrap, Molly Sue.
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Tour Giveaway 
 
Free novella download when readers sign up for Loretta’s newsletter. 

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Grand Gestures

by Lynne Hancock Pearson

 

Publication date: April 15th 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

She will grit her teeth and smile at the snobby and suspicious CFO if it means landing the contract. But she won’t put on a dress and definitely not heels.

Event planner Jane Beckett has big dreams for her small company and is bending over backward to accommodate demanding clients. Jane doesn’t have to like them. She doesn’t have to spend her free time with them. But she wants to tease the grumpy pencil-pushing executive who always seems to be in her way, muss up his hair and show him that there’s more to life than boardrooms and bottom lines. That is, when she doesn’t want to yell at him. Or punch him.

Liam Cross believes every woman has a hidden agenda, one that involves taking advantage of big hearted, clueless billionaires like his best friend and co-worker. He’s watching Jane and her sister to ensure that party-planning is all that’s going on. Even though she manages to steal his assistant, he likes what he sees in the smart-mouthed brunette, admires her stubborn independence, and wants to help her fledgling firm succeed despite his misapprehensions.

Paintballs, punches, and sparks fly when inflated egos and miscommunication threaten relationships between friends, family, and partners.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Kobo

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Enjoy this peek inside:

With whiskey warming his belly and muddling his mind, signing up for a paintball session seemed like a great idea, in the light of day and with a pounding headache, not so much. He intended to argue his way out of the non-refundable fee he’d paid in his drunken state. Settling his sunglasses firmly over his eyes, Liam hauled his sorry ass out of the car. His back hurt, his head hurt, and his hands hurt.

Fingering a fresh blister on the palm of his hand, he cursed himself for not wearing gloves at the batting cage the night before. He’d gone directly from the office to the sports field in Magnuson Park. For two hours, he’d slugged away at balls. Personal day. Liam had never taken a personal day. Other than dental and medical checkups, he never took a day off. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d done anything fun without Chuck. He’d whacked the ball time and time again, thinking about his best friend potentially getting his heart stomped on. Again. Worn out from swinging the bat, he’d stopped for booze and takeout, then headed home to stalk Jane Beckett online.

Bullseye Paintball was located in an old salvage yard off Aurora. Whooping with glee, kids erupted out of SUVs and mini vans in the parking lot. Wincing at the noise, Liam made his way to the office and pulled open the heavy door.

“What are you doing here?”

Shit!

Wearing black cargo pants tucked into combat boots and a black hooded sweatshirt, Jane Beckett lounged against the registration desk. She flicked her bangs out of her eyes with a toss of her head and smirked at him. “You’re not playing, are you?”

Her dismissive tone rubbed against his raw nerves. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

Sipping from a travel mug, Jane’s gaze roamed up and down his body, taking in his khaki shorts, fresh white collared shirt, and sneakers. Her lips twitched. “Oh, no reason at all.”

The door opened, and the small office filled with kids, backing Liam into a corner and saving him from having to reply. Jane shifted her attention to the kids and raised her arms in the air.

“Who’s ready to have fun?” she yelled.

“Yay!” the kids replied at the top of their lungs.

“Who’s ready to get dirty?”

They yelled louder.

“Who’s ready to plant a garden?”

The kids looked confused.

“I’m just messing with you!” Jane grinned and opened the door to the playing field. “Head out and find Jason. He’s going to fit you with safety equipment and guns.”

The kids stampeded out, leaving two dads dressed in camo-chic, looking both excited and nervous. One of whom wore an air cast on one leg. “Oh dear,” Jane said, “you’re not going to be able to play with that.”

The man in the cast replied, “Stan and I discussed strategy. I figured I’d prop myself up in a corner and shoot from behind cover.”

“Yeah,” Stan said. “You and I can run and juke, draw their fire, and Carl can pick them off. He can as well.” He looked toward Liam. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name. Whose dad are you?”

Three pairs of inquisitive eyes turned toward him. “Nobody’s. I’m not part of the party.” He felt like a fool. How the hell to get out of this while saving face?

“Liam’s never played before. He’s here to scout the place for a team-building event for his company.”

Carl and Stan nodded at Jane’s remarks. Liam shot her a quick smile of thanks.

Then she cocked one hip, crossed her arms, and threw him under the bus. “We’ve got tactical gear you can borrow for firsthand experience, Mr. Cross. How about it?”

“Yeah,” Carl said. “You’ll be able to see how much fun it is. And help us out. There’s twelve of them, and with my bum leg, they’ll make mincemeat out of us.”

Stan nudged Carl’s shoulder. “Don’t scare him.” He turned to Liam. “It won’t be that bad. The girls are experienced. We’ll tell Jessica, that’s our daughter, to tell them to go easy on you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Liam caught the grin Jane was attempting to hide behind her hand. Great. She was laughing at him. There was no way he could get out of this and still keep his man card. “I’m in.” He extended his hand to Carl but glared at Jane.

Thirty minutes later, he found himself cowering behind a stack of wooden pallets with a barrage of paintballs coming at him. What the holy hell?! This was not fun. This was terrifying. He looked back and spotted Carl wedged between empty oil drums, cackling maniacally as paintballs pinged off the metal. What was wrong with these people?

Author Lynne Hancock Pearson:

Lynne Hancock Pearson writes fun, flirty, feel-good fiction set in the Pacific Northwest. Stories of people finding their way, even if it takes a while to get there.

She lives near Seattle with two and a half finicky felines and one long-suffering husband. She is a left-handed middle child who grew up in the Great White North.

Website / Goodreads / Twitter / Instagram

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Welcome to my stop during the book blitz for A Case of Madness by Yvonne Knop. In A case of Madness, a world-weary Sherlock Holmes scholar loses his job and his sanity when the great detective materializes in his flat to help solve a mystery that involves a handsome male stranger.

This book blitz is organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The book blitz runs from 3 till 16 April. See the tour schedule here.

A Case of Madness
By Yvonne Knop

 

A Case of Madness book cover

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Age category: Adult
Release Date: 20 March 2023

Blurb:

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Andrew Thomas just got sacked. He’s permanently drunk. He’s got cancer. Is inescapably gay. Was hit by a bus. And he’s fallen in love with a stranger whose life he saved.

As a newly-unemployed Sherlock Holmes scholar, Andrew knows only Holmes can help him untangle the madness his life has become, but Holmes isn’t real. Except he absolutely appeared in Andrew’s house, told him he’s in love with a man he just met…and then in a fit of pique Andrew sent him away.

Sure Holmes is probably a hallucination or a specter or a ghost, but now Andrew desperately needs his help. So to find the answer to his case and the man of his dreams, Andrew takes to chasing a fictional character through London with his very own Watson.

Links:
Goodreads
Amazon
Amazon UK
B&N
Kobo
Bookdepository
Improbable Press

Yvonne Knop author picture

About Author Yvonne Knop:
Yvonne is a bi and nonbinary writer who dedicates their free time to extending the secret Gay Agenda.

Although born and raised in the north of Germany, Yvonne’s passion for Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who, their sassy humor, and aversion to talking on public transport made them suspiciously British from early on.

As a natural matter of cause and effect, Yvonne moved to London in 2014 and started to write (a novel for the drawer). No word was written until 2017 when the sudden question of ‘What if I could talk to Sherlock Holmes?’ came up to them.

Conducting PhD research in the world’s most extensive Sherlock Holmes collection, located in Minneapolis, USA, was a great help for answering that question. The result was not a PhD, but their debut Novel A Case of Madness, originally written in German and in a bold move translated by the author themselves when nobody in Germany understood a word they were saying.

Author links:
Website
Twitter
Instagram
2023 Debuts
Newsletter

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For a list of my reviews go HERE.

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Rewrites of the Heart

by Terry Newman

Genre: Paranormal Romantic Comedy

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JJ Spritely, romance author, writes characters that jump off the page. Figuratively, that is. She never expects them to make a literal leap smack dab into her world. But Alex Zurich and Blake Teesdale do just that. And they’re on a mission to help JJ write her own personal love story with a man she recently met, Kennedy King Cooper.

A history professor, Cooper doesn’t see the value of romance novels and he has even less regard for those who write them. Until he meets a woman who haunts his thoughts.

There’s only one small snag in Alex’s and Blake’s plan…okay…two rather large snags. JJ wants nothing to do with Cooper. The other snag? Alex and Blake aren’t able to return to the pages of their own book.

Will JJ and Cooper write their own love story? And will Alex and Blake find their way back to their own world?

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Amazon * Books2Read * Bookbub * Goodreads

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What makes a good story?

 

A story lives or dies by its characters. There seems to be an age-old debate about whether a novel is plot-driven or character-driven. Without three-dimensional likeable characters, there isn’t a story. If the reader doesn’t like your hero, whether it’s a romance or a mystery, then they won’t care about what happens to them. The plot doesn’t matter.

 

But the best stories, I believe, are those that have a cast of likeable, well-rounded characters. If you can write supporting characters who the readers cheer when they enter a scene, then you’ve got a great story.

 

What are you currently reading?

 

I just finished reading The Love Hypothesis, and Love on the Brain, both by Ali Hazelwood. If you love romantic comedies, then you’ll want to grab up these books. I love her writing style. I’ve also recently finished Boyfriend Material, and Husband Material by Alexis Hall. I highly recommend them both.

 

If your book had a candle, what scent would it be?

 

I can’t believe I had to think about this. It would be a coffee scent. Of course. Everyone in all my books drinks coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. (And you thought I was going to say something romantic, like rose petals.)

 

What did you edit out of this book?

I edited several chapters from other characters’ points of view. I was so into creating all my friends, that I wanted each one to have a say in the book. I gave Deb Dilley, the history department secretary, a couple of chapters. I also gave the department chair, Dr. Thomas Chare, several chapters. They are both wonderful supporting characters with personalities of their own.

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Two things you should know about me: I have an offbeat sense of humor and characters are constantly talking to me, trying to get me to tell their stories. Other than that, I’m a normal person.

I’ve spent most of my adult life writing in some fashion, from small-town reporter, to editor-in-chief and ghostwriter for a national natural health publishing firm. The last decade and a half I’ve worked as a freelance writer, penning ebooks that range from starting a doula services business to Native American herbs.

I’ve finally took the plunge to fiction after pushing oh, so many doubts aside. My first novel with The Wild Rose Press, Heartquake, won a 4.5 crowned heart review with Ind’tale Magazine.

All my books are set in fictional towns in northeast Ohio, where I grew up, and I write about things I love—like coffee.

I have a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy and live in North Lima, a real town in northeast Ohio with all my characters. Yes, it does get crowded.

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Website * Facebook * Twitter * Instagram * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

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Follow the tour HERE for special content and a giveaway!

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

 

At Last

by Whitney Dineen

 

(Seven Brides for Seven Mothers, #8)
Publication date: February 1st 2023
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Queen Charlotte of Malquar has been hard at work setting up all her children, but so far, she’s been unable to find someone for Sophie.

Princess Sophie was supposed to be the second royal sibling to marry, but she broke her engagement when she found out her fiancé was cheating on her.

Sophie has all but given up hope of finding her own fairytale ending. That is, until a mystery bouquet of roses shows up at the palace. The note says they’re from Arlo Hammond. After years of pining for the man she thought was her everlasting love, Sophie finally released all thoughts of Arlo, only to have him show up again thirteen years later. Why?

Will Arlo’s explanation win Sophie’s forgiveness? Will she give him another chance and find her own happy ending at last? Or will the heartache of the past be too much to forgive?

Find out in the final installment of Dineen’s bestselling and deliciously romantic Seven Brides for Seven Mothers series!

Goodreads / Amazon

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Curling up on my living room sofa, I snuggle under my favorite cashmere throw before picking up the telephone. After punching in the number, I smile when I hear the voice of my dearest friend from university days. “Sophie!” Avery sounds both surprised and delighted. “It’s been ages. How are you?”

“I’m confused,” I tell her bluntly.

“The farthest fork out is for the fish course,” she teases.

“Ha ha ha.” I love how easily we fall into old banter. It’s always been like this between us. But of course, I didn’t call to chit chat. “Do you remember Arlo Hammond?”

I hear her choke on what I’m guessing is her morning coffee. Having grown up in the States, Aves never was one for tea. “Of course I remember. But I thought he was old news.”

“He’s been sending me flowers once a month for the last seven months.”

“And you’re just telling me now?”

“I figured I’d wait to see if he said anything interesting.”

“And?”

I hear a sharp knock, which I’m hoping is someone from the kitchen with the decadent sweet breads I’ve ordered. Even though my waistline doesn’t need the indulgence, I’m still going to enjoy them. “Hold on, Aves,” I tell her before getting up to retrieve my breakfast.

Padding across my living room rug in bare feet, I pull the door open. My enthusiasm vanishes when I see that my visitor is not from the kitchen. It’s my mother. “What are you doing here?” I greet none too politely.

“Good morning to you, too.” She pushes her way through the door.

“I’m on an important call, Mum. I can’t chat right now.” If I tell her who I’m talking to, she’ll simply demand to get on the phone and have her own conversation with Avery.

Stopping in her tracks next to the trestle table against the wall in my foyer, she says, “I see you received the flowers that arrived yesterday.”

“I did.” When she doesn’t immediately respond, I add, “Is there any way we can talk later? I really need to get back to my call. It’s rather important.” Let her assume I’m planning the next big charity event, and child literacy itself is at stake. Participating in charitable events is nearly all I do as a working royal, and while I know it’s an important contribution, it sometimes bores me to the bone.

“I’ll be in the parlor between ten and eleven,” she tells me before backtracking toward the door. Before she walks through it, she adds, “I’ll expect you at ten.”

“I’ll do what I can, Mum.” I’m about to shut the door when I spot the serving girl from the kitchen walking down the hall with my breakfast. I indicate that I’m leaving the door open for her before hurrying back to the couch.

As soon as I pick up the phone, I hear Avery yelling at someone, “Not there! I asked you to put them in the linen closet.”

“Who are you lording it over?” I ask with a laugh.

“My husband, of course. We’re only now getting down to the business of unpacking all the bedding.”

“But you’ve been married and in the house for over six months,” I tell her.

“You know me, Soph, I’m not that fussy. I’m okay with washing the old sheets and then returning them to the bed. However, my mother-in-law feels that kind of bohemian nonsense isn’t good enough for her Tony. She made me register for six sets of linens and now I have to store them all. I should dump them off at her house.”

I don’t even have that many extra sheets,” I tell her.

“I venture you don’t have any idea how many sheets there are in that castle you call home. But you didn’t call me to talk about bedding. You called about Arlo.”

As the server pushes the trolley over the threshold, I motion for her to leave it there before mouthing a quick thank you. When she shuts the door behind her, I ask my friend, “What is he doing getting in touch after all these years?”

“You can’t guess?”

“Avery, what happened between us was over thirteen years ago. It barely even started before it was over.”

“You talked about him constantly for two years,” she reminds me.

It’s true, I did. Arlo Hammond made a huge impact on my life in a very short amount of time, but there was no way there could ever have been anything between us. “I did what I was supposed to do, and I forgot him.”

Why were you supposed to forget him again?”

“Avery Flemming, you know perfectly well.”

“What I know is that your parents are much more open-minded than you give them credit for.”

I don’t give her the satisfaction of agreeing with her. I simply say, “Maybe …”

Author Whitney Dineen:

Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries — not always in that order.

Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.

She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.

Gold Medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2017.

Silver medal winner at the International Readers’ Favorite Awards, 2015, 2016.

Finalist RONE Awards, 2016.

Finalist at the IRFA 2016, 2017.

Finalist at the Book Excellence Awards, 2017

Finalist Top Shelf Indie Book Awards, 2017

Website / Goodreads / Twitter / Facebook / Instagram

 

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Welcome to my stop on the virtual book tour for Last Chance organized by Goddess Fish Promotions.

Author Darren E. Watling will be awarding a $15 Amazon or B&N Gift Card to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Don’t forget to enter!

And you can click on the tour banner to see the other stops on the tour.

Last Chance

by Darren E. Watling

Genre: Comedy / Sci-fi

Synopsis

The earth’s epilogue was a forgone conclusion.

Our World selects seven of the best human beings that man, woman, and other could put their faith in, to ensure human existence, each displaying traits of a master in his/hers/its field.

However, not all traits are in the best interest of humankind.

Out of this World places seven hospital patients on a Plan B shuttle. Life was difficult on Earth. A new planet presents new problems. The ex-Fruit and Nut Friendly Psychiatric Hospital patients are up for the challenge.

Into the Other World—The Twist. Not only a mid-1900s dance, it is also associated with a lemon, a warped shape, a frame of mind, a warped frame of mind, a face you pull from sucking lemons and an end of story, unexpected finish, not to be given away, glancing at the back cover.

Enjoy this peek inside:

“The court versus Jarred Pork,” the bailiff announced.

“Another serious offence. Jaywalking again. Unbelievable. What have you got to say for yourself, hmm? Well? Speak up, speak up,” the judge said, his thick and fearsome eyebrows alternating up and down.

“If the court pleases, Your Honour . . .” Sid, the defence lawyer, started.

“I’m not too pleased so far but ‘carry on, Sid’.”

“I’m the accused’s attorney. I will speak for Jarred as the accused is mute.”

The judge gave a heavy sigh and adjusted his black gown. “Very well, continue.”

“Jarred went out looking for his husband, as he hadn’t returned with an asthma puffer for their great-grandson., Wheelchair-bound, Jarred left the child with a trusting neighbour. As Jarred left their tiny unit, the red-bearded, dreadlocked kiddies friend, Molly Lester sang a kiddie song, and everyone assumed the child was safe, sport. (It is said Molly was heard on the phone: Hey, Dad! Bring Bill over. I’ve got another one. Presumably, another child to nurture, teach and explain what fine examples of human beings they are).

“I’ve heard enough from that man’s/woman’s/its mouth. Guilty! Throw away the key, like a rapper!” “Next, and this better be good, Johnny,” Clint said, as Sid swapped out and Johnny became the new defence lawyer.

“You sure are a weird lawyer Johnny, but I like you.”

“The court versus Harlett Sexton Action. The Honourable Judge Clint Eros presiding,” the bailiff stated.

“Oh, you poor thing. What have they got you in here for?” the judge showing compassion to the DD’s.

Harlette continued chewing gum as she spoke, “Well, Clinty, I’m pretty sure it’s a case of mistaken identity. I was on my way to make another porn movie, and the next thing I remember was a police officer saying I hit something or something.”

“You have a very strong defence Miss Action,” the unbiased judge claimed. “Let the prosecution begin.”

From chapter ‘Clint’ part three – Into the Other World

About Author Darren E. Watling:

Born Darren Edward Watling, Subiaco, Western Australia, 1966. Darren excelled in English, maintaining ‘A’s, throughout his schooling and wrote a play, ‘Laughing Gas’, for his school at the age of 10. Credited with one small, published article, Darren found inspiration and reward, arriving at his latest piece, ‘Last Chance’.

He completed an apprenticeship, as a fitter, at Princess Margaret Hospital, while continuing his passion for short story writing.

Traveling Australia for three years on a private bus gave Darren a beginning to the experiences and continued, humorous outlook he has on life.

Darren approached his mother Jill Stubbs Mills and asked for her blessing to take her short story, ‘Deception’, and rewrite it into a novel. (The feedback from her publisher about her story was exceptional). Jill agreed to her son’s request. Sadly, Jill now suffers with dementia, but, keeps her sense of humour.

Various forms of employment, including a movie extra, a welder on a crocodile farm, a drummer for a touring band and currently a roof plumber, gave Darren considerable ‘fuel’, for a fired up, comedic novel.

Darren has had several passions over the past 56 years while walking this Earth. Drums, Karate, tennis and continuing today- comedic writing.

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For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

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I am so excited that MISS INDECISIVE: A ROMANTIC COMEDY by Elise Eliot is available now
and that I get to share the news!

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If you haven’t yet heard about this wonderful book, be sure to check out all the
details below.

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This blitz also includes a giveaway for a $10 Amazon GC’s courtesy of Rockstar Book Tours. So if you’d like a chance to win, check out the giveaway
info below.

 

MISS INDECISIVE: A ROMANTIC COMEDY

 by Elise Eliot

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Pub. Date: December 10, 2022

Publisher: Elise Eliot

Formats: Paperback, eBook

Pages: 312

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Find it: GoodreadsAmazon

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Read for FREE with a Kindle Unlimited Membership! 

 

Lesson #1: Don’t fall in love with two guys at the same time.

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Vanessa Hunt prefers to stay in her 5th grade classroom and
avoid relationships entirely, so when she meets not just one, but two, handsome
strangers in the same week, it starts to throw her entire life off balance.

How is she supposed to avoid Jack, aka Principal Hottie, when
he walks right into her school as the new interim principal? Too bad she’s made
a rule for herself that she will never date someone she works with ever again.

Then, there’s fireworks when she meets Rishi at her
roommate’s wedding. Only problem is: Rishi’s family wants him to marry someone
else. When he finds himself torn between tradition and his heart, he will have
to decide how many rules he’s willing to break for love.

Turns out, one teacher + one principal + one doctor = an
equation that is nothing but trouble. When Vanessa starts having feelings for
them both, she learns that falling – in love and in life – can really turn your
whole world upside down. Will she figure things out before she ends up losing
them both?

 

 

TikTok Teaser:

 

@eliseeliotauthor When Vanessa meets Rishi, she’s unprepared for the feelings it stirs up. She has no idea how much it’s going to turn her world upside down. #booktok #sneakpeek #excerpt #sweetromancebooks #lovetriangletrope #arcreaderswanted #romanticcomedy ♬ Summer – Instrumental – Devinney

 

 

About Elise Eliot:

Elise Eliot is a highly-caffeinated
wordsmith who loves writing funny, romantic stories that offer readers a mental
vacation. She grew up watching classic romantic comedies over and over until she
memorized all the lines, and they have inspired her to write her own. When she
isn’t plotting her next novel, she can be found chauffeuring tiny humans or
stopping her dogs from mass destruction. Miss Indecisive is her first novel.
Follow her to find out what’s next!

Follow Elise everywhere!- https://linktr.ee/eliseeliot

 

 

 

 
 
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1 Winner will receive a $10 Amazon GC, International.
Ends December 27th, midnight EST.

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a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

 

The Wedding Laughbox

by Julia Kent

 

(Shopping for a Billionaire, #3)
Publication date: November 8th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

The Wedding Laughbox contains FIVE full-length novels and ONE ALL NEW NOVELLA! – from a variety of New York Times bestselling romantic comedy author Julia Kent’s series.

It’s wedding season, and what’s better than a wedding in rom com style?

Julia Kent’s madcap style, that is.

How about a campground double wedding with three grooms and two brides? (What? Yep…) Or a billionaire and his betrothed escaping their own wedding to flee to Vegas? Paparazzi galore and a stubborn father of the groom ruining a CEO’s planned nuptials until he takes matters into his own hands and does love his way? A disgruntled older sister watching her sister find wedded bliss and maybe, just maybe, finding her own love with a rival billionaire?

With five different stories you get bridezillas, momzillas — even a billionaire dadzilla – with over-the-top fun and lush, luxurious settings, all wrapped up in community, connection, and loads of fun.

This boxed set includes:

Shopping for a Billionaire’s Wife

Shopping for a CEO’s Wife

It’s Always Complicated

Random Acts of Love

Hasty

And an ALL NEW novella featuring Will and Mallory from the book Fluffy, as they go on their honeymoon and discover that life is nothing but a series of coincidences as their past comes back to haunt them with hilarious results.

Sink into SIX humor-filled books that pour you into wedding planning, bachelorette and bachelor parties, give you all the wedding jitters and proud family moments, all wrapped up in a huge boxed set you can sink into and find your way to long-term love.

Note: each of these books can be read as a standalone, but they are part of larger series. All of my Laughbox boxed sets are designed to give readers a taste of my books, centered on a specific concept (in this case, weddings). Full disclosure for readers.

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo

 

About Author Julia Kent:

New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Julia Kent writes romantic comedy with an edge. Since 2013, she has sold more than 2 million books, with 4 New York Times bestsellers and more than 21 appearances on the USA Today bestseller list. Her books have been translated into French, German, and Italian, with more titles releasing in the future.
From billionaires to BBWs to new adult rock stars, Julia finds a sensual, goofy joy in every contemporary romance she writes. Unlike Shannon from Shopping for a Billionaire, she did not meet her husband after dropping her phone in a men’s room toilet (and he isn’t a billionaire she met in a romantic comedy).

She lives in New England with her husband and three children where she is the only person in the household with the gene required to change empty toilet paper rolls.

She loves to hear from her readers by email at julia@jkentauthor.com, on Twitter @jkentauthor, on Facebook at @jkentauthor, and on Instagram @jkentauthor. Visit her at http://jkentauthor.com

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram / Newsletter / Bookbub / Amazon

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For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.

 

Miles and Miles of You
by Jennifer Bonds

 

Miles and Miles of You by [Jennifer Bonds]

Published by: Entangled: Amara
Publication date: November 7th 2022
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance

Get on board with @SoSavvyTraveler!

Lucy Gonzalez might have once been a stressed personal assistant, but now she’s hitched up her grandma’s bitchin’ vintage Airstream and hitting the road with all the best places to find cheap eats and see the sights on a shoestring budget.

And she has company along for the ride. If those thirst-worthy abs seem familiar, it’s because they belong to billionaire Miles Hart. True story, he used to be Lucy’s boss until she quit on him. Something about not being appreciated? Anyway, you will appreciate Miles—and his groveling—plenty on this trip.

Now, you have front-row seats to the hottest trip of the year. Sparks! Fireworks! Unexpected smooching! And you won’t want to miss the jaw-dropping surprise that will make this destination totally worth the hilarious journey…

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo / Google Play

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Enjoy this peek inside:

Lucy’s gaze locks on the luggage at my feet and her umber eyes go round. “Why do you have a suitcase?”

I flash her a winning smile. “I’m coming with you.”

Her jaw drops, revealing a row of straight white teeth, but she recovers quickly, snapping her mouth shut.

“No.” She shakes her head vigorously. “Absolutely not.”

I’d expected resistance, but I’ll win her over. I always do.

Not always.

I wouldn’t be in this mess if that were true.

“What do you mean ‘no’? This was your idea,” I remind her. “You’re the one who said ‘watch me.’ I’m just taking you up on the offer.”

Her mouth opens. Then closes. Then opens again.

I wait a beat, but still no words come. She’s literally speechless.

That’s a first.

“I need your help. If the only way to get it is to join you on this little adventure,” I say, nodding toward the camper, “then so be it.”

“Little adventure?” she echoes, planting her hands on her hips. “There’s nothing little about what I have planned.”

“Of that, I have no doubt.”

But if life has taught me anything, it’s that having dreams and making them reality are two very different things. My brothers and I poured everything we had to give into Triada, knowing full well that success was a long shot. And while I believe Lucy can achieve just about anything she sets her mind to, I’m not convinced her life’s dream is to be a travel influencer.

Hell, I’m pretty sure she plucked the idea out of thin air that day in my office.

“What about Triada?” she challenges, eyes glinting with triumph. “In the two years I’ve worked for you, you haven’t taken a single vacation.”

Has it really been so long since I took time off?

Focus, asshole.

“Who said anything about a vacation?” I wink at her. “I can work remotely. All I need is my laptop and hotspot.”

The little skeptic arches a brow and I chuckle.

“Okay, fine. I need you too.” That, at least, earns me a smile. Thank Christ for small favors. “Besides, I want to be there when you come to your senses and ditch this ridiculous plan.”

Annoyance flashes across her face, but it’s gone in an instant.

“You’re serious?” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You really mean to join me on this trip?”

“Yes.” Despite the fact that I’m going to catch hell from my brothers when they find out.

Ask forgiveness, not permission.

It’s a mindset that’s always served me well.

“And you think this is a better solution than simply hiring a new assistant?” she asks, words dripping with sarcasm.

“Hell, yes.”

The corner of her mouth twitches at my obvious desperation, but I let it roll off my back. The only thing that matters now is her answer. Our eyes lock and she stares at me for a long moment, probably weighing her options and the outcome of each.

Meticulous, as always.

I’d expect nothing less.

“All right,” she finally says, voice taking on a sly edge. “I’ll let you tag along. If you agree to travel as I do. No upgrades. No five-star hotels. No Michelin star restaurants.”

That’s it? The lack of strings is a pleasant surprise.

“Done.” I snort. “What kind of snob do you take me for?”

Lucy laughs, and it’s a light, airy sound reminiscent of better days. Days when I wasn’t up to my ass in problems.

“I mean it.” She pokes me in the chest. “The whole point of this trip is to show real people travelling on a budget. The world doesn’t need another Lifestyles of the Rich and Photoshopped brand designed to make the masses feel inferior.”

“Fine.” After the week I’ve had, I’ll agree to just about anything. “How hard can it be, anyway?”

“For a guy used to room service and luxury accommodations?” She smiles up at me sweetly. “I imagine it’ll be quite challenging.”

The hell it will. Despite my current wealth, I’m no stranger to rough living conditions. I may enjoy the finer things in life—who doesn’t?—but I don’t need them to survive.

“I didn’t get where I am by caving under pressure.” I lean in close, pitching my voice low. “I can handle it. Can you?”

Indignation flares in her dark eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” I say, choosing my words carefully, “that I don’t think you’ll last two weeks.”

“Ha.” Lucy crosses her arms. “I won’t last two weeks? You won’t last two days without your gourmet coffee and Egyptian cotton sheets.”

“Want to bet?”

~~~~~

 

Author Jennifer Bonds:

Jennifer Bonds is the USA Today bestselling author of sizzling contemporary romance with sassy heroines, sexy alphas, and a whole lot of mischief. She’s a sucker for enemies-to-lovers stories, laugh-out-loud banter, and over-the-top grand gestures. Jennifer lives in Pennsylvania, where her overactive imagination and weakness for reality TV keep life interesting. She’s lucky enough to live with her own real-life hero, two adorable (and sometimes crazy) children, and one rambunctious K9. Loves Buffy, Mexican food, a solid Netflix binge, the Winchester brothers, cupcakes, and all things zombie. Sings off-key.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

 

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Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

For a list of my reviews go HERE.

For a list of free eBooks updated daily go HERE

To see all of my giveaways go HERE.