Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Bigfoot Blues banner 2

Have I got the book to share with you today.

Bigfoot Blues, An Elvis Sightings Mystery, is too fun for words. Well, obviously it has words. It’s a book. But it is so different from other cozies I’ve read.

I can’t wait to tell you about it, so here ya go!

Title: Bigfoot Blues
Author: Ricardo Sanchez
Publisher: Carina Press
Pages: 251
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Format: Kindle

BigFoot Blues 2

goodreads-badge-add-plus

My Review

If you’re like me, that catchy title, Bigfoot Blues, and the awesome cover art caught your attention.

In the beginning….

Floyd, the P.I., kisses his girlfriend goodbye, her beard tickling his face. What?!

Now he’s off to make a quick buck. It should be an easy case. Mr. Funk wants him to find his missing daughter. She went to River City, Oregon and wasn’t seen again. Her parents finally received a letter from her stating that she was eloping with Bigfoot and not to worry about her. Yep, you read it right. Eloping with Bigfoot.

Floyd arrives in River City and visits the local police to let them know he’s there for a case. A common courtesy. The flack begins immediately. They think he’s there for the Elvis Impersonator’s contest. Just because he wears sparkly outfits like Elvis, that doesn’t make him an impersonator. He’s an Elvis Lifestyle Artist. Totally different. Riiiight.

I could just see the reactions Floyd got everywhere he went. No wonder he got so much flack. More power to him for sticking to his guns and letting his freak flag fly.

While in town, he crosses paths with the sheriff, in the hospital after a large animal took a chunk out of his butt. Could have been a cougar. Or maybe a chupacabra. Either way, he hires Floyd to catch the thing before it bites someone else.

Now he has two cases.

And he gets another job offer while on the trail of Bigfoot. It seems that Harlan’s swamp dog has been stolen. He specializes in cryptotaxidermy, stuffed creatures made up of different animal parts. You know. The jackalope? Harlan offers Floyd a sweet deal he can’t refuse.

Looks like his case load has gotten bigger.

River City, Oregon is the Mythical Creature Capital of the World. Lots of eccentric and down right loony people visit the city.

Floyd has to weed out the crazies with Goliath in tow. Goliath is a dwarf with a mean streak and the muscle to back it up. Floyd’s nightmare. And my hero. He’s so full of snark, I just had to love him.

So now you have an idea of what is in these pages.

I loved the characters. Not your ordinary John Q. Public. All of them have quirks, are just outside the norm. What a great cast!

And the cases. Come on. An eighteen year old girl elopes with Bigfoot. The Sheriff is gnawed on by a chupacabra. And a swamp dog thingie has gone missing. How do these all combine?

In the funniest ways imaginable. I had to keep making myself slow down to enjoy each page. I was so anxious to see how it all came together.

One of the zaniest cozy mysteries I’ve read yet. Loved it. Hope there’s more to come.

5 Stars

~~~

Synopsis

She eloped with Bigfoot. Or maybe Bigfoot kidnapped her. Either way, I’ve been hired to uncover the truth behind Cindy Funk’s disappearance. Me? I’m Floyd, and I’m a PI living my life as Elvis would have wanted. Not just in sequined jumpsuits. With character.

Cindy’s trail leads me to River City, Oregon—aka the Mythical Creature Capital of the World—where I catch Case #2. This one from an eccentric billionaire who’s lost a priceless piece of “art.” Enter one dead body and I end up deputized to solve Case #3, tracking down a man-eating mountain lion. Or maybe it’s a chupacabra. Or just an ordinary murderer. Hard to say.

I’ve handled my fair share of crazy, but River City’s secrets have me spooked. With an influx of tourists arriving for the town’s annual Elvis tribute contest—what are the chances?—I’ve got to save the girl, solve the rich guy’s problem and leash that chupacabra before a second body is discovered. It might just be mine.

Read more about Floyd’s adventures in Elvis Sightings, available now!

For More Information

~~~

Excerpt

It was ten past two on a Wednesday and I was sitting behind my desk in the office I share with Franklin, a chiropractor. His wife had sent me looking for him almost four years ago, but she was such a harridan that once I’d found him, I couldn’t bring myself to turn over his location. He’d let me use his place as an office, rent-free, ever since.

I checked my watch again.

Wanda was flying back to Kresge today. I resented being dragged away from her, even for just an hour, but the man on the phone had insisted. It had been more than a month since my last case, so while Wanda packed, I came into the office to meet Peter Funk. And he was late.

The clock hit 2:15. I was about to leave when a very lost-looking man in his fifties opened the door.

“You must be Floyd,” he said, taking off his well-worn Caterpillar cap. His bald head had the baked look of someone who spent a lot of time under the hot Idaho sun. “Your Elvis outfit kinda gives it away,” he added.

“You’re Mr. Funk?”

He smiled weakly and bobbed his head up and down in the affirmative.

I pointed him to a seat and sat back down at my desk.

“So what can I do for you?” I asked.

Funk looked down at the cap in his hands and worried at a loose thread with his callused fingers.

“I need you to find my daughter,” he said and looked up at me. “You’ve got to help me. I don’t know who else to turn to.”

“I’d be happy to help, Mr. Funk, but with missing children you’re much better off going to the police.”

Funk stood up and slapped his hat against his thigh. A small cloud of dirt erupted from the dull blue denim of his pants.

“Oh, the cops won’t help me. Cindy’s eighteen. They said they can’t go looking for her if she’s just run off,” he said. “Besides…”

“Besides what, Mr. Funk?”

He took his seat again before finally blurting out, “She ran off to elope with Bigfoot.”

I would have laughed if Funk hadn’t looked so worried.

“Bigfoot?” I said. “That’s a nickname?”

“No, sir.”

Funk pulled a postcard out of his jeans pocket and handed it to me.

On one side was a teenage boy holding up a plaster casting of a giant footprint nearly three feet long. Across the bottom it read “River City—The Home of Bigfoot.” I turned it over. The postmark was three weeks ago in River City, Oregon. The note on the card read:

 

Dear Daddy,

I’ve fallen in love with Bigfoot and we’ve decided to elope. I won’t be coming back to Pocatello. I’ll write again soon.

Cindy

 

She’d put a little heart in place of the dot above the is in both Bigfoot and Cindy.

River City… The name was familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.

“My girl, she’s a willful one she is, but Cindy’s never lied to me. Not once,” Funk said. “If Cindy says she’s eloped with Bigfoot, that’s exactly what she’s done.”

Why did I get all the weirdos? Was it the suit? Or the Lifestyle Elvis thing? Or maybe this was some sort of elaborate practical joke. I let out a low sigh.

A case is a case, I told myself. And this one was just too absurd to be someone shining me on.

~~~

About the Author

Ricardo Sanchez 2

 

Ricardo Sanchez is a writer, toy buff, and lifelong comic book fan.

Elvis Sightings, the first novel in his Elvis Sightings Mysteries series, was released in September , 2014. Bigfoot Blues, the follow up, was released in May, 2015.

Ricardo has written several books for DC Comics, including Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight, Teen Titans Go! and Resident Evil among many others. His original project, A Hero’s Death, was a successful Kickstarter released in May, 2015.

In addition to writing, Ricardo is an Emmy award winning video and animation producer. When he’s not writing, Ricardo maintains a vintage toy blog, drives 70’s muscle cars, and shops year round for Halloween decorations for his home in California.

For More Information

~~~

Did you see that? Wasn’t that????

Until the next time…..

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

Paradise Rot Banner 851 x 315

Paradise Rot

The Island Trilogy

Book One

by Larry Weiner

25712413

goodreads-badge-add-plus

Genre: Satire/Dark Comedy

Publisher: Booktrope

Date of Publication: May 30, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-5137-0031-1/ASIN: B00YLDWX66

Number of pages: 211

Cover Artist: Larry Weiner

My Review

Welcome to tropical paradise. Welcome to The Isle of St. Agrippina. White sandy beaches. Delicious blended drinks. And island cuisine.

But beware. All is not as it seems. And you just might wind up on the menu.

You see, this long abandoned and now reopened and freshly renovated resort is run by zombies. Not the good ones, if there is such a thing, but the hungry ones. And their brains are working just fine. You’ll see.

Kyle, an advertising exec, should have known it was too good to be true. In fact, he did. Who would hire someone straight from the loony bin? But that didn’t stop him from using the plane ticket and jetting to a tropical paradise.

Right from the get go, things are weird. And they keep getting weirder.

What’s with the slow moving people with their perfect over-white teeth, spray on tans, and practiced pronunciation.

Who is the lady in the woods who likes to conk you over the head and drag you to a bar in the jungle tended buy some weird guy.

And did he really see a chihuahua with it’s butt on wheels, and did it actually speak?

I would have given this book 5 Stars just for the ingenuity. But I also laughed out loud, loved the eccentric mish mash of characters, and couldn’t get enough.

Looking for some fun with zombies. Give this one a try. And the next book, Once More, With Blood, is available now so you won’t have to wait for more fun.

5 Stars

~~~~

~~~~

Book Description:

 

Kyle Brightman—late of the advertising industry and soon-to-be-late of the 5th floor psych ward—has a job offer he can’t refuse. A new resort in the Caribbean is looking for an art director.

Kyle soon finds himself on the Isle of St. Agrippina working alongside a beautiful copywriter with an icy handshake. Questions arise: Why does the resort management team sport spray-on tans in the Bahamas? How can the resort offer such cheap vacation packages? What does one do with vats of Astroglide?

To get the answers, Kyle must first navigate a series of wildly unpredictable events with a cast of even more wildly unpredictable characters, including a seductress jungle assassin, her partially paralyzed talking Chihuahua, an Ivy League Rastafarian seaplane captain, Kyle’s ex-psych ward roommate, a former Haliburton mercenary, and a French tavern owner with a fondness for goats, all set to the greatest hits of the 70’s. Pablo Cruise never felt so right.

Amazon   BN

~~~~

Excerpt: Chapter One

 

“THERE’S A REASON WE PUT PATIENTS IN RESTRAINTS THIS WAY,” Hap the orderly explained. “See before, when it became necessary to administer a four-point restraint on someone, we’d just do the standard two feet to each side of the gurney and two wrists by the waist. Now we have you done up with the POS 2206 restraint which you’d have to pretty much be motherfuckin’ Houdini to get out of, see what I’m sayin’? We got one arm up and one down so you don’t pop your shoulder out of your socket. Does that matter to the average whack job that comes through here all spun out screaming about the end times or how the government implanted tiny computers in their heads? Nuh-uh. They just keep wigglin’ around as if their super human powers are gonna set them free. Forget it, son. Your body belongs to the St. Eligius psych ward, fifth floor, Seattle, Washington, in these United States of America.”

It was true.

Kyle Brightman lay restrained on the gurney looking something like a flamenco dancer striking a pose horizontally. Unlike flamenco dancers and their elaborate sequined outfits, Kyle was in jeans and a faded Clash T-shirt covered in eggs, tapenade, and mace. Also unlike flamenco dancers, Kyle had been tased in a supermarket. But then it had been a weird week in an off kilter year, so in retrospect it seemed fitting to be held down to a gurney in a hospital corridor getting a lesson in the history and technique of human body restraint from Hap, the large African American orderly schooled in human confinement arts.

Kyle fully submitted to the restraints, finding them rather soothing— Temple Grandin was on to something, he thought. He also thought about the starting place on the long road of his downward spiral: from being fired from his advertising gig as an art director, to mowing the grass for a local golf course, and finally to freaking out on a couple of elderly women blocking the aisle in a supermarket because they wouldn’t move their carts a few inches over when he’d asked.

All in three months’ time.

In truth, the brain lock up had been a long time coming. A bitter divorce that had cost him his waterfront condo and his cat, Lester. The passed over promotion at work to a younger junior art director. The diagnosis of Bipolar II. The drinking. The petty shoplifting at the local Rite Aid. It was a perfect storm of anxiety and neurosis crashing down upon an already paranoid and erratic man with authority issues and a tendency toward drama.

But the idea of his mental state as a tornado gathering energy as it swept across his life was nothing new to Kyle or those around him. His moods were a dangerous balancing act of wit, anger, and a general cluelessness that on the best of days came across as mercurial.

He knew this about himself, and though countless therapists had talked him through his childhood, his mother, his school years, and subsequent launch into adulthood, everybody had yet to find a cure. As a creative director with similar tendencies had once put it to Kyle, he’d best learn to be an asshole with serious repenting skills if he was to survive at all, let alone in advertising.

In Kyle’s mind, every time he met a woman, took a job, or made a friend, he imagined a stop watch starting, ticking off the days, hours, minutes, seconds until eventually they would learn the truth about him: that his moods were like forecasting the weather. It was a seemingly mundane twist of fate then that Kyle Brightman would completely lose his shit because two aged, upper crust cronies wouldn’t move their shopping carts over enough for him to pass. If only he had known what they had been discussing (the cost increase in septic pumping/ whose Mexican gardener was better) he might have picked a more symbolic moment to melt down. But then, he had realized as he began cursing at the top of his lungs that he really wasn’t in the driver’s seat. And when he began to throw eggs at them, followed by a jar containing tapenade while knocking over a display rack of various energy bars, it became clear that he was now entering new territory.

Territory that would require restraints.

“When do I get out of the restraints?” Kyle asked Hap.

“That depends on you,” Hap said. “If you cooperate and let us do our job and you do yours you won’t see restraints again. But if you start to go sideways, we put you in the metal room, hose you down and go to work on you with rubber Billy maces.”

“What?”

“I’m fuckin’ with you. You’ll be fine. We’re gonna take you to your room. You’ll meet your roommate and we’ll get you on the road to recovery.”

Kyle hadn’t thought about recovery until it was mentioned. It was a rare instance that he lived in the moment. He was aware, strapped to the gurney, that he was extraordinarily tired.

“What if I don’t recover?” Kyle asked.

“You will,” Hap said. “I been doing this a long time and I can tell the ones who are gonna make it and the ones who fall through the cracks. You’re the first one.”

“What do you tell the ones who you know are gonna fall through the cracks?” Kyle asked.

“Same bullshit I told you,” Hap said.

~~~~

About the Author:

Larry  Weiner

 

Larry Weiner is the author of PARADISE ROT (BOOK ONE), ONCE AGAIN, WITH BLOOD (BOOK TWO) and the forthcoming HINDU SEX ALIENS (BOOK THREE) that make up the Island Trilogy. Larry earned a degree in film from CSULA and was an award-winning art director. He lives on an island in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, two kids and a gaggle of animals. He plays bass and thus has poor hearing.

Website / Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads

~~~~

giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png

a Rafflecopter giveaway

~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

wedding haters

Wedding Haters by Melissa Baldwin

The exquisite dress, the dazzling menu, the family drama . . . It’s the day every girl dreams of, and Madison Wales is no exception. Her wedding plans seem to be going perfectly thanks to her very talented wedding planner, Sienna Harris. That is, until her grandmother and her two overachieving, bullying cousins suddenly want to become very involved in her big day. But . . . why? Madison’s perfect wedding dreams are dashed as things slowly start to unravel. With family drama in her midst, she wonders if her cousins are behind each disaster or if she has truly become a paranoid bridezilla. Will Madison be able to withstand all of the pressure and finally stand up for herself? The idea of eloping with her fiancé, Cole, is looking better everyday, even if it means leaving her dream wedding behind. Will she make the right choice?

Amazon * Barnes & Noble * Kobo

add to goodreads

 

Excerpt

“There you are. Why did you run off so abruptly?” She sounds very concerned. I contemplate explaining everything to her, but I’m not sure I want to share the skeletons in my closet just yet.
“I’m sorry. I’m just a little nervous about seeing my cousins. I haven’t seen them in a while,” I explain.
“Don’t you worry! When it comes to family, it doesn’t matter how much time goes by,” she says as she pats my arm.
This woman has no clue what is about to take place. My grandmother alone is a piece of work; thankfully, they have met and really got along well. I’m secretly hoping that the Ellie I spoke with on the phone is the Ellie that shows up tonight. Susan and Cole leave as I take a few more minutes to myself. As I stand, there in Susan’s perfect guest bathroom it occurs to me that maybe I’m completely over-reacting. Ellie and I did have a good conversation, and ultimately they have gotten their way by being asked to be in the wedding. That should be enough for them to be on their best behavior and not make themselves look bad in front of my new family.
Just then, I hear the doorbell ring and hear several female voices. Cole knocks on the door.
“All hell is about to break loose, are you ready?” he says, raising his eyebrows. He grabs my hand.
“I’m ready, but the question is, are you?” I lean up on my tippy toes to give him another kiss, and we head to the living room as if we are walking into a lion’s den.

~~~~~

MelissaAuthor Melissa Baldwin

Melissa graduated from the University of Central Florida with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communications; she has always had a love for writing. An avid journal keeper, she fulfilled her dream with her debut novel, An Event To Remember . . . Or Forget.
Melissa resides in Orlando, Florida, with her husband and young daughter. She is a master at organization and multi-tasking. Her daily jobs include mother, chauffeur, wife, PTA President, Fitness Trainer, and now Author.
When she has free time, she enjoys traveling, fitness, decorating, fashion, and taking a Disney Cruise every now and then.

Facebook * Twitter * Pinterest * Instagram

 

50_Amazon_Paypal

 

$50 Blast Giveaway

Enter to win an Amazon Gift Card or Paypal Cash

Ends 5/11/15

Open only to those who can legally enter, receive and use an Amazon.com Gift Code or Paypal Cash. Winning Entry will be verified prior to prize being awarded. No purchase necessary. You must be 18 or older to enter or have your parent enter for you. The winner will be chosen by rafflecopter and announced here as well as emailed and will have 48 hours to respond or a new winner will be chosen. This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook, Twitter, Rafflecopter or any other entity unless otherwise specified. The number of eligible entries received determines the odds of winning. Giveaway was organized by Kathy from I Am A Reader and sponsored by readinglight.com. VOID WHERE PROHIBITED BY LAW.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

~~~~~

Summer banner 2

The minute I spotted this cover art and the title Summer On The Short Bus, I knew I wanted to read this book.

While I don’t have a review for you today, I do have a fun post and a giveaway, so don’t forget to enter!

~~~

Summer cover

Synopsis

Spoiled, Versace-clad Cricket Montgomery has seventeen years of pampering under her belt. So when her father decides to ship her off to a summer camp for disabled teens to help her learn some accountability, Cricket resigns herself to three weeks of handicapped hell.

Her sentence takes a bearable turn as she discovers the humor and likeability of the campers and grows close to fellow counselors. Now, if she can just convince a certain Zac Efron look-alike with amazing blue eyes that she finally realizes there’s life after Gucci, this summer could turn out to be the best she’s ever had.

Summer on the Short Bus is a very non-P.C., contemporary YA with a lot of attitude, tons of laughs, and a little life lesson along the way.

About The Author

Bethany Crandell lives in San Diego with her husband, two daughters (one of whom is differently-abled), and a chocolate lab with no regard for personal space. She watches too much TV, savors avocados, and is still waiting for Jake Ryan to show up at her door. She writes YA because the feelings that come with life’s “first” times are too good not relive again and again.

~~~

Summer Giveaway Banner

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Click on the widget below to follow the tour for more fun stops and more chances to win!

book nerd TourHost badge

~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

AfterlifeOrBust banner

Afterlife Or Bust. That title made me chuckle. Then I spotted the cover art and knew this was going to be a fun read!

Come on in and check it out.

And don’t forget to enter the giveaway!

~~~

Afterlife or Bust

by June Mayes

AfterlifeOrBust cover

 

BLURB

Lizzie is making the best of her life, er afterlife. She’s working hard being a doctor to all things supernatural and for the most part has managed to behave. With her daytime watcher in tow and a very enticing Master Vampire turning up the heat of their romance, things couldn’t be better.

Of course things could get worse and do. Being killed again was not part of Lizzie’s agenda and having to navigate the politics of all things that go bump in the night is just icing on the afterlife cake. But Lizzie has plans. She’s going to make her death worth living and she is going to drag everyone else along kicking and screaming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy this fun Excerpt

 

“Nice scrubs,” Frank said, sounding relaxed for the first time all day, er night. I had to give him credit, he wasn’t laughing.

“Apparently, these were the only scrubs they could rustle up on short notice,” I muttered, determined not to give any one of the cretins I worked with the satisfaction of losing my temper. I pulled my very recently washed blonde hair into a braid and tossed it back over my shoulder in agitation.

“They’re cute,” Frank said with a big grin. Behind him, Furball was snickering. While the boys may not get along at the best of times, for some reason, when it came to me being the brunt of a cruel joke, they seemed to find camaraderie. I, on the other hand, was not amused.

“They have bunnies all over them,” I pointed out unimpressed, “which I imagine goes down well in a ward with patients under the age of twelve. This, however, is not the pediatric ward.” I tossed a glare toward Elvis and Abbie. Both were engrossed in their paperwork. I was so not buying it. I leaned up against the counter and crossed my arms to sulk.

Frank kept smiling, and I swear he was leaning closer for a kiss. Oh boy. Suddenly he stopped. Squinting, he moved in. Let me clarify, he leaned away from my mouth and closer to examine my top. Talk about disappointed.

“It looks like someone’s drawn on it,” he murmured. He fingered one of the drawings.

I huffed a sigh and picked up my files again, moving toward my next patient. Frank followed. There was no way he was going to let this one drop.

“Do the bunnies have fangs?” he asked incredulously.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR Bio and Links:

June Mayes is a Cape Cod born and bred writer who lived in London for 10 years before returning home. She’s a hopeless romantic with a passion for writing all sorts of genre. Her days are spent juggling family life, walking the dog, writing and reading books, more books and even more books!

Amazon author page ~ Goodreads

Buy Link: Amazon

~~~~

giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png

a Rafflecopter giveaway

~~~~~

Click on the banner below to follow the tour and comment.

The more you comment, the more chances to win.

Goddess Fish Promotions

~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

ghostly undertaking  large banner 640

A Ghostly Undertaking

by Tonya Kappes

A Cast of characters and a story so well written you will think you are right there in the midst of all the happenings.
~Shelley’s Book Case​

I loved this story…Tonya Kappes is one of my favorite authors to read she adds humor into her mystery when you least expect it.
~Community Bookstop

The book is full of distinctive characters and all the charm of small southern town…an entertaining read from start to finish.
~Musings and Ramblings

Ms. Kappes has become one of my new favorite authors with A Ghostly Undertaking because I don’t think I laughed this hard in quite a while as I did with this story.
~Books-N-Kisses

A Ghostly Undertaking: A Ghostly Southern Mystery
(Ghostly Southern Mysteries)

18624809
Series: Ghostly Southern Mysteries
Mass Market Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Witness (February 24, 2015)
ISBN-13: 978-0062374646
E-Book ASIN: B00KPVCEDU

.
goodreads-badge-add-plus

 My Review

 Emma is not a demure southern belle. She’s a true southern gal after my own heart. Blurts out what pops in her mind. Not afraid to look crazy. Dives in feet first and to heck with the consequences.

Life gets crazy for Emma after a plastic Santa falls off the roof of Artie’s Deli and Meat store and knocks her out. When she comes to she can see ghosts. Everyone thinks she’s either gone around the bend or suffering from ‘funeral trauma.’

Emma soon knows better when Ruthie Sue, co-owner of the Sleepy Hollow Inn, along with Emma’s grandmother Zula Mae, is found dead at the bottom of the stairs. Her ghost comes to Emma, adamant she was pushed and wants her murderer brought to justice.

Ruthie and Zula Fae were arch enemies and that puts Zula in the spotlight as a prime suspect. Emma has to put on her sleuthing cap and get to the bottom of it as another person falls victim.

Emma and her older sister, Charlotte, operate The Eternal Slumber Funeral Home, owned by their grandmother Zula Mae.

I could just see Emma speeding pell mell through town in her hearse, arguing with the ghost of Ruthie Sue, and the people with their mouths hanging up, shaking their heads as they declare Emma has lost her marbles.

The only one that doesn’t chalk her antics up to lunacy is the handsome Sheriff Jack Henry. He sees more than craziness in Emma’s information. She knows thing only Ruthie Sue could know.

I enjoyed the blooming romance between Jack Henry and Emma Lee. They may not be school kids anymore, but their attraction to each other is bumbling, teasing, and sweet.

I felt so at home in this book. I live in the south and can tell you that these characters are genuine, right down to two first names.

The mystery isn’t obvious and the antics of all of the characters had me snickering.

A light hearted cozy mystery that tickled my funny bone, I do declare.

4 Stars

***

Synopsis

A funeral, a ghost, a murder . . . It’s all in a day’s work for emma lee raines . . .

Bopped on the head from a falling plastic Santa, local undertaker Emma Lee Raines is told she’s suffering from “funeral trauma.” It’s trauma all right, because the not-so-dearly departed keep talking to her. Take Ruthie Sue Payne—innkeeper, gossip queen, and arch-nemesis of Emma Lee’s granny—she’s adamant that she didn’t just fall down those stairs. She was pushed.

Ruthie has no idea who wanted her pushing up daisies. All she knows is that she can’t cross over until the matter is laid to eternal rest. In the land of the living, Emma Lee’s high-school crush, Sheriff Jack Henry Ross, isn’t ready to rule out foul play. Granny Raines, the widow of Ruthie’s ex-husband and co-owner of the Sleepy Hollow Inn, is the prime suspect. Now Emma Lee is stuck playing detective or risk being haunted forever.

~~~~

A Ghostly Grave: A Ghostly Southern Mystery, Book Two

22608162

  • Series: Ghostly Southern Mysteries (Book 2)
  • Mass Market Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Witness (March 31, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062374818
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062374813

goodreads-badge-add-plus

My Review

This is the second book in The Ghostly Southern Mysteries Series and is just as fun as the first book.

Emma first began seeing ghosts when a plastic Santa fell off the roof of Artie’s deli and meat the and knocked her out cold. When she came to in the hospital Chicken Teater was there. That couldn’t be as his body had been seen to at her very own funeral home, Eternal Slumber, and she’d seen him buried.

Everyone in town saw her talking to a ghost and just scratched it off as crazy Emma and her ‘funeral trauma, kind of like PTSD.

Emma soon learns it’s not just hallucinations and is caught up in the murder of Ruthie, her grandma’s nemesis. That placed Zula Fae right in the crosshairs of sexy Sheriff Jack Henry, Emma’s school crush. Emma, with the help of Ruthie’s ghost, sticks her pretty little nose into the investigation as more people are attacked.

That first ghostly case lands her where she is now. When Ruthie Sue finally moved on to wherever ghosts go, she started telling other ghosts that hadn’t moved on about Emma’s gift as a Betweener medium. She can see and here the ghosts of murdered people that are stuck and can’t move on. Just what Emma needs. She helped solve Ruthie Sue’s murder and now she’s sending her clients from the beyond.

So now she stands by the grave of Chicken Teater, local chicken farmer, as his casket is being exhumed.

Her list of suspects is vast as pretty much the whole town is gawking behind the police tape.

Could it be Chicken’s widow, Marla Maria, the beauty queen? Could it be she was jealous of the competition from Mrs. Cluckington, Chicken’s prize winning hen? As Emma looks at all of the faces, she has her work cut out for her.

The Kentucky Cave Festival is gearing up to begin and Emma wants to get this case wrapped up faster than you can say Bees on a Bicycle.

I think it’s sweet how one glimpse into Jack Henry’s eyes can make the butterflies flutter in Emma’s stomach. She’s smitten and so is he. These too are so cute together.

There’s no lacking in colorful, quirky characters and the fun and mystery just keeps on rolling. Feathers fly as Emma leaves no tomb stone unturned to get to the bottom of it.

You don’t have to read the first book to dip your toes into this one, but I’d say grab the first book too and get twice the fun from the beginning.

4 Stars

***

Synopsis

There’s a ghost on the loose—and a fox in the henhouse

Four years ago, the Eternal Slumber Funeral Home put Chicken Teater in the ground. Now undertaker Emma Lee Raines is digging him back up. The whole scene is bad for business, especially with her granny running for mayor and a big festival setting up in town. But ever since Emma Lee started seeing ghosts, Chicken’s been pestering her to figure out who killed him.

With her handsome boyfriend, Sheriff Jack Henry Ross, busy getting new forensics on the old corpse, Emma Lee has time to look into her first suspect. Chicken’s widow may be a former Miss Kentucky, but the love of his life was another beauty queen: Lady Cluckington, his prize-winning hen. Was Mrs. Teater the jealous type? Chicken seems to think so. Something’s definitely rotten in Sleepy Hollow—and Emma Lee just prays it’s not her luck.

~~~~

Tonya 5
About This Author

Tonya Kappes is a USA Today Bestselling Author.

I write fun humorous fiction, some with romance and some with a little mystery.

More than anything I love to connect with readers! I’m a huge fan of them and LOVE getting to know them. Making readers smile, and remembering not to take life too seriously is how I like to write. I’m addicted to coffee, McDonald’s Diet Coke, and Red Hots Candy to keep her going!

When I’m not writing about quirky characters and even quirkier situations, I’m busy being the princess, queen and jester of my domain which includes my BFF husband,  three teenage boys, two dogs and one ornery cat.

And be sure to stalk me on Facebook,  Twitter, TSU, Instagram!

Website – http://www.tonyakappes.com/

Purchase Links
Amazon    B&N   Book Depository

~~~

giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png

a Rafflecopter giveaway

~~~

Tour Participants

March 6 – Shelley’s Book Case – Review, Guest Post

March 7 – Escape With Dollycas Into A Good Book – Spotlight 

March 8 – Cozy Up With Kathy – Interview

March 9 – Community Bookstop – Review

March 10 – Musings and Ramblings – Review

March 11 – A Blue Million Books – Interview

March 12 – Books-n-Kisses – Review, Guest Post

March 13 – Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers – Guest Post

March 14 – off

March 15 – off

March 16 – Melina’s Book Blog – Review, Guest Post

March 17 – fuonlyknew – Review

March 18 – Brooke Blogs – Review

March 19 – readalot – Review

March 20 – Mochas, Mysteries and Meows – Review, Guest Post

~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

 .
Welcome to the cover reveal for Out From Under.
I’ll be reviewing this for the tour in March.
This is going to be such fun!
.
.
Out From Under
Pea Pod Girls’ Investigations Book #1
By- Melanie Donithan, Dee Middleton-Taylor, and Suzanne Curry
Genre- Romance/Mystery/Humor
Expected Publication Date- March 2015
.
 
Three small town, middle-aged women with big town dreams open up The Pea Pod Girls’ Investigations. Gigi VanWey, the Amazon Queen, Tallulah Dewy Townz, the pint-sized rebel who can open a can of whoop ass, and Babs Rosencrantz, the Jewish Guru, had no idea how much trouble they could stir up with their first case. These extremely resourceful women are three peas in a pod who know how to get a job done.
 
Their first client, trophy wife and recovering-sugar-daddy-addict Cyndi Lou Montgomery, wants to find out how one minute she’s watching the Douglas County 4th of July celebration and the next, waking up in the Douglas County Prize Bull Barn in a most un-lady-like situation. Now Cyndi is being blackmailed, and given specific instructions to follow.
 
The Pea Pod Girls didn’t know that a home explosion, being shot at, missing evidence and unwanted help from the new town sheriff, Jackson Lee – who, by the way, is so hot you could fry an egg on his fine ass – would be part of the job.
 
The case comes to a head when the Pea Pod Girls set a trap for the blackmailer at the annual Midnight Madness Costume Ball.
Will the Pea Pod Girls be able to solve the mystery before the clock strikes midnight?
.
Now, doesn’t this sound like a whole lot of fun? I’m reading this right now and assure you, it is!
.

(more…)

the getaway girls tour banner

Virtual Book Tour Dates: 12/29/14 – 1/5/15

Genres: Fiction, Paranormal, and Humor

The Getaway Girls

the getaway girls 670x1000coverhires

add-to-goodreads-button

Blurb:

Four girlfriends on a weekend trip to New Orleans attract the attention of flesh-eating Scavengers. The women must rely on their wits, a cocky Irish movie star, and a dodgy deal with vampires to survive the night during this wild adventure through the Big Easy.

 

Excerpt:

Audrey downed her drink and then stood up saying, “On that note, I’ve got to pee.” She smoothed down the back of her dress, wary of unwittingly flashing the bar and yanked open the enormous front door.
The walls of the cavernous hallway were hung with old paintings, but Audrey barely noticed them as she walked down a threadbare carpet runner toward the back. She passed the old dining room and then the long, wooden bar where two college boys in button-down shirts and khaki shorts were tossing back whiskey.
“Hey, darlin’,” the tall one with floppy dark blonde hair said, as he approached Audrey. He had a deep voice, the kind of Southern accent that suggested lots of money and bourbon, and a cocky grin that reeked of frat parties and date rape. “Why don’t you let me buy you a drink?”
Audrey smiled and said, “Thanks, but I’ve already got a drink and I’m with my friends.”
The boy smiled and reached out a hand to place on Audrey’s elbow. “Aw, sugar, you’re too pretty to hang out with the girls all night. You haven’t visited New Orleans till you’ve had a Tulane man buy you a cocktail.”
Audrey laughed. “You’re cute, but I’m probably old enough to be your mom. Thanks anyway, sport!” She darted into the ladies’ room, leaving Tulane Boy panting and angry on the other side of the door.
“Come on, man,” his friend said, tugging on his arm. “Plenty other bitches out here, let’s get another round.”
“Yeah, sure.” Tulane Boy jerked away from his buddy, saying, “You go order, I gotta take a leak.”
“You come right back, though, y’hear?” The friend asked, looking Tulane Boy as directly in the eye as his drunken state would allow. “We don’t want any trouble, do we?”
“No, man. No trouble.”
Tulane Boy ducked into the men’s room for about sixty seconds, and then he eased the door quietly back open. He stood in front of the ladies’ room door and looked to the right and to the left. He put one large hand on the frosted glass panel of the door, and carefully began to turn the knob with the other hand.
“Leave her alone.” The cultured English voice startled Tulane Boy and he jerked around. A tall, dark-haired man sat in the parlor across the hall from the bar. His face was hidden in the shadowy light of the empty room, but his muscular arm stretched the fabric of his suit coat as he casually turned his highball glass round and round in his hand.
Tulane Boy was certain he hadn’t noticed anyone when he’d slipped into the hall, but maybe he had made a mistake in the murky light.
He smiled his practiced good ol’ boy grin and said, “Leave who alone? I’m just tryin’ to take a piss, brother.” He then pretended to notice that he had the wrong bathroom door and slapped his hand across his forehead. “Oh man, look at that – I almost went into the ladies’ room. Thanks for the heads up.” He nodded to the man who, Tulane Boy could clearly tell did not believe him, and he turned around and headed back to the bar.
The man sat without moving in the dark parlor until Tulane Boy disappeared from sight. He stared directly ahead with black eyes and inhaled deeply of the stale, dusty air. His full lips curved up only slightly as if he’d just thought of something funny.
Then he stood up and placed his empty glass on a table without a sound and with a few quiet steps, approached the ladies’ room door.

 

Buy Link:

Amazon

 

deirdre2013-002_25

 

About the Author:

Deirdre H. Gage is a Texas writer who has claimed half a dozen other places as home, including Kentucky and Chicago – but her heart belongs to the Big Easy. She has been published in Cosmopolitan Magazine, Appalachian Heritage literary journal, the Darker Times Anthologies, and Richardson Living Magazine. The Getaway Girls: A New Orleans Tale of Monsters, Mayhem and Moms is her first novel.

 

Connect With The Author:

Website

Facebook

Google+

Pinterest

Twitter

~~~~~

giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png

 

Giveaway:

Win one of three $15 Amazon gift cards on this tour! Open worldwide.

This giveaway will run 12/29/14 – 1/5/15.

Click on the link below to enter.

Enter through Rafflecopter.

~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

 

Today I’m excited to share the teaser tour for The Bleaklisted Books by David M. Brown and Donna Brown. This is humorous non-fiction for every cat and animal lover. The Bleaklisted Books releases December 1st!

 

My mini-irons,

I urge you to embrace the goose-spell of Animal Farm and you will find sanctuary when our difficult war is over. I will add, of course, that given that conquering the world means a long, long, long, long, long war, I will permit you to read another book every now and again.

Just remember which books are bleak-listed; e.g. Barry Potterer, 100 Years of Silly Tudor, Prude and Perjury, The Hungary Olympic Games, The Chronicles of Nerdia and Of Mike and Ben.

In the meantime, here is a list of books I have vetted and will reconsider for approval if the appro… apprap… proper changes are made. Read this manyule carefully mini-irons.

.

Your Cat-tain Charlie Brown

US Amazon | General link (diverts to relevant Amazon) | Goodreads
.
Excerpt


What happens?

Some spy is told to carry out an assignment in East Germany to uncover a double agent but he falls for someone prior to this and love ultimately messes the operation up.

Reason for bleaklisting?

Proper spies don’t fall in love. Wimps they are!What should have happened?Eric is sent on an exclusive mission into East Germany to assassinate a double agent. Before setting off he is approached by an air stewardess named Fiz who fancies him but he turns her down. She does warn him that it’s cold in East Germany and gives him some cough syrup.Suspicious of the bottle labelled poison with a skull on it, Eric tosses the syrup and completes his mission. When he returns home to England he has a runny nose and is coughing a lot. Fiz realises he has seen through the poison expertly disguised as cough syrup and she runs away. She is shot and killed by a traffic warden who believes her car is parked on double yellow lines. Eric ends the novel by nipping to the pharmacy for some genuine cough syrup.Special instructionMake available at MI5, MI6, CIA, B&Q and M&S and rename The Spy Who Came Home with a Cold.

 
Mr B compares the stories

Dear me, Charlie, I thought you’d like John le Carré’s 1963 Cold War Novel. The Spy Who Came in From the Cold does deal with Communist East Germany where Alec Leamas is sent, under the pretence that he is defecting, and with the intention of locating Mundt, suspected of being a double agent. Alec has a romance with Liz which ultimately throws a spanner in the works. There isn’t anything about cough syrup thankfully and as with Charlie’s other efforts, this one is likely to disappear into the ether. My apologies to Mr le Carré for this despicable alternative to his story.
 
About the Authors: 

Donna: Donna is a longtime book lover and sometime book reviewer and has devoured books from

an early age. She writes short (or long) stories as and when inspiration hits and is married to fantasy author David M. Brown (Fezariu’s Epiphany, A World Apart). She was also co-contributor to David’s book, Man vs Cat, a humorous look at life with six rambunctious rescue cats.

Donna has lived in many different areas of the UK over the last 30-something years but has remained in Yorkshire for the past decade. She ardently disputes the misnomer that ‘It’s grim up north’. You can find Donna on Google+, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Goodreads, or visit her and her husband’s shared blog: B-Lines and Felines.

Website | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram 

David: David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Hons in History and English, David’s dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.

Although David is inspired primarily by fantasy fiction, he also finds his muse in the form of anime, world cinema, history, and biographies. His own books, Fezariu’s Epiphany and A World Apart, combine aspects from worlds both old and new into compelling tales of a world not soon forgotten., David himself certainly does not lack a spirit of adventure; in fact, he left his job in 2007 in order to spend a month travelling. Second only to meeting and marrying his wife, David counts this as one of the most amazing experiences of his life.

Feline Central
.
giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png
 
.
$20 Gift Certificate for Amazon or B&N & paperback or audiobook of Man vs. Cat (INT)Ends December 16th.
.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This event was organized by CBB Book Promotions.

 ~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg

Graveyard Shift Banner 851 x 315

You know you want it!

Just look at that cover.

And it’s got reapers.

So come on in and check out Graveyard Shift.

Grab your free copy.

And enter the giveaway for a chance to win some awesome prizes!

Graveyard Shift

Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc.

Book One

Angela Roquet

Graveyard Shift Front Cover with IRA sticker

c8df8-add2bto2bgoodreads2bblack

Genre: Urban Fantasy

Original print publication October 2009

ISBN-10: 1480004189 / ISBN-13: 978-1480004184 / ASIN: B009M0ARH0

Number of pages: 258 / Word Count: 70,000

Cover Artist: Angela Roquet

 

Book Description:

 

The Inferno has Evolved…

Lana Harvey is a reaper, and a lousy one at that. She resides in Limbo City, the modern capital of the collective afterlives, where she likes to stick it to the man (the legendary Grim Reaper himself) by harvesting the bare minimum of souls required of her. She’d much rather be hanging out with Gabriel, her favorite archangel, at Purgatory Lounge. But when a shocking promotion falls in her lap, Lana learns something that could unravel the very fabric of Eternity. If the job isn’t completed, there could be some real hell to pay.

 

Free ebook copy available at Amazon BN   Smashwords

Excerpt:

“Go help Coreen and Kevin! I’ll take care of them.” Josie fired another arrow through the nearest demon’s eye. Pus exploded from the gaping wound. The beast wailed and clawed at its face before Josie darted it through the skull. A cloud of murky smoke rose in its place. The second demon was quicker. It rolled away from her and scrambled behind a semi. Josie pounced onto the hood of a car and hurried after it.

The sound of traffic crunched in my ears. Angry horns blared as cars and trucks slowed around the charred bridge and missing chunk of railing. Humans may fear death, but they never pass up an opportunity to gawk at it.

I leaned over the wrecked ledge and caught a glimpse of the bus before it disappeared entirely. Kevin and Coreen’s robes laid abandoned on the crumbling bridge. I yanked mine over my head and tossed it next to theirs. It was no good to me in the water. I grasped my scythe in both hands and jumped.

The momentum of the fall pulled me under the icy water, and I found the bus, still bubbling as the remaining air inside tried to escape. I latched onto an open window and pulled myself around to the door.

Inside, Coreen and Kevin cut away the passengers’ seatbelts. Coreen jerked around and then relaxed when she saw it was only me. Kevin’s mop of curls floated around his face, rendered weightless in the dark water. He struggled with a dagger, trying to free the last man. I slipped the blade of my scythe under the buckle and tore it loose from the seat. He gave me a relieved smile, but only a brief one. Air bubbles leaked from the corners of his mouth and he pinched his lips shut again. He grabbed two of the men under their arms and heaved them out the door.

There were only five. One of the band mates must have been driving. Coreen grabbed the next two and left the drummer for me. He was unconscious. The others had a chance of making it out alive, and I hoped they did. We had enough problems. We didn’t need four additional souls to tend to.

Mickey, our catch, was slowly drowning in my arms. This wasn’t how he was meant to go, but I wasn’t about to go to the trouble of saving him just so he could die an hour later. That’s as far as destiny would take him. I was just saving him the extra trauma.

His soul glowed as I pulled it free from his body, and his eyes flashed open in surprise. I pulled him close and wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him from turning back and seeing his body. The shock is too much for some souls. I pulled him out the door and swam towards the ascending bubbles, fleeing for the surface.

 

About the Author Angela Roquet:

Graveyard Shift AngelaRoquet1B

 

Urban fantasy author Angela Roquet is a great big weirdo. She collects Danger Girl comic books, owls, skulls, and random craft supplies. Her obsessions include the Wizard of Oz, over-sweetened coffee, and all things Joss Whedon. She’s a fan of renewable energy, marriage equality, and religious tolerance. As long as whatever you’re doing isn’t hurting anyone, she’s a fan of you, too.

Angela lives in Sedalia, Missouri with her husband and son. When she’s not swearing at the keyboard, she enjoys painting, goofing off with her family and friends, and reading books that raise eyebrows. GRAVEYARD SHIFT, the first novel in Angela’s Lana Harvey, Reapers Inc. series, is now available for FREE on Kindle, Nook, & Smashwords.

You can find Angela online at:

Website ~ Newsletter ~ Blog ~ Twitter

Facebook ~ Goodreads ~ Youtube ~ Google +

~~~

giveaway photo: Giveaway Banner for 42nd giveaway.png

Tour giveaway

1 $25 Amazon card

1 signed set of paperbacks open to US Shipping

Click on the rafflecopter below to enter.

Raffle button

~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

horseshoe photo: Horseshoe horseshoe.jpg