fuonlyknew

Featuring ‘The Beast’, an expedition truck, as seen on TV*

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A Vintage Truck: An Amateur Team: An Immovable Deadline
The Comic Memoir of a Crazy Idea

In this captivating true story, join an intrepid married couple as they take another wild leap into the world of nomadic living.
Four years previously, Jackie and Mark gave up work to embark on a permanent road trip with four dogs. However, one Friday the 13th, forces beyond their control cause them to throw caution to the wind and buy a 30-year-old army truck sight unseen from the internet.
Their goal: to create an expedition truck fit to drive overland to Mongolia.
Follow them as they dive headfirst into the daunting but thrilling task of converting this rugged vehicle into a perfect off-grid tiny house on wheels.
Yet their first ever DIY van conversion proves to be a rollercoaster ride, when they sell their house to fund the build, and Friday the 13th comes back to haunt them.
Is their confidence that, ‘there’s always a solution,’ misplaced?
With their relationship, sanity, and finances on the line, can they navigate the pitfalls of their first-ever build and avoid becoming homeless?
Filled with quirky van life friends and unexpected twists, this is an inspiring tale of perseverance, friendship, and finding the courage to conquer the challenges that face those who dare to chase their dreams.

* The Beast made a guest appearance on Ben Fogle’s New Lives In The Wild

ARC Reviews:

“An honest and often funny account of the realities of when people actually begin to live their dream.” Anna Rashbrook, Author

“A page-turner!…You never know what will happen next!” Carrie Riseley, Author

“The trials and tribulations of building a home on six wheels, told with laughter and insight… a must read – even if it’s just to stop you making the same mistakes!” Maximilian Sam, Award-Winning Author

“This book is a fantastic look at designing a unique project and going for it with humor and perseverance. If one is tired of another ‘chucking it all and renovating an old house’ story, this is a quixotic twist that will keep you entertained.” Kari Iverson Lane

“Hugely inspirational, because I think many would have just given up trying, with all the things they had to put in place to get their dream of owning and converting The Beast off the ground. What a story – and a fabulously entertaining book/read.” Julie Haigh, Goodreads Librarian and Top 1,000 Amazon reviewer.

**Get it for Only .99 cents!**

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Amazon * Bookbub * Goodreads

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Grand Designs

 

Word Count 693

This is the first chapter, and gives a humorous idea of what caused us to embark on our vehicular Grand Design. Grand Designs features in the narrative of the book, with a few guest appearances from virtual Kevin McCloud at strategic stages in the build!

 

Grand Designs

 

I have an admission to make. Property renovation programmes are my guilty pleasure – and an inspiration.

First and foremost, I’m a Hammer Head.

For years, Homes Under the Hammer was my weekday daytime paramour. ‘Hammer,’ as it’s known to aficionados, features unsuspecting buyers purchasing property at auction. They aspire to find rubies in the rough and profit from the plain, but frequently end up with dry rot, subsidence, and a blown budget.

This happens most often when they ignore Hammer’s golden rules.

1. ALWAYS view before bidding.
2. Read the legal pack.
3. Set a budget and stick to it.

I love the variety of projects they feature: from old sewage works to pieces of industrial wasteland, with every type of residential dwelling in between. But, a highlight for me is the literal soundtrack. The music is truly inspiring. They might pair the ‘Before’ montage of a ramshackle wreck with This Ole House by Shakin’ Stevens. Dodgy circuitry? Cue Eddy Grant’s Electric Avenue. My all-time favourite was the outstanding appropriation of Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell for a many-bedroomed residence whose only toilet was outside. I’m certain that in the midnight hour, the young lady who cried for more, more, more was not lodging an impassioned request additional indoor privies.

From the beginning, George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces has been grist to the mill of my tiny home aspirations. Here, subjects create bonkers but bijou living quarters from sheds, tree houses, or an odd assortment of base vehicles such as a derelict boat, a retired London bus, or a decommissioned Sea King helicopter fuselage strapped to a flatbed truck.

But if it’s wild ambition meeting unfettered eccentricity you’re after, there’s always the granddaddy of them all, Grand Designs.

Since 1999, architect Kevin McCloud, MBE, clad in a blazer with his trademark woolly scarf rippling behind in a breeze of creativity, follows the visionaries of this world. The ones who drive humanity forward with their crazy thinking, experimental ideas, and unwavering optimism. People prepared to sacrifice their sanity – along with their relationships and their grandchildren’s inheritance – on the altar of their bold, unconventional, and sometimes hopelessly insane, home-building dreams.

Who can forget the “heroic” Eco Arch house, whose domed roof was a confection of ceramic tiles and plaster of Paris last seen in 14th century Spain? It partially collapsed when one of the crew leaned on it. Or the monumental challenge of Yorkshire’s Hellifield Peel Tower? A stately seven-bedroom family castle raised from an 800-year-old pile of Grade-1-listed rubble, despite the central wall disintegrating and the costs exploding. Or the builds based on the shape of an ammonite fossil or a hamster wheel?

At key milestones, McCloud pops in to survey the subject’s progress, proffer wise counsel, and gently allude to flaws in design and logic. Then, he presents his signature soliloquy to camera like a wandering, windblown poet.

“This collapsing beam is no mere structural support. It is the spine of Rufus’ aspirations. The backbone of Camilla’s dream.”

When he returns to find the unfortunate couple/kids/newborns spending another unexpected winter in a caravan surrounded by freezing mud and construction chaos, McCloud may discuss the pros and cons of their approach to Project Management.

Regardless of my decades long televisual apprenticeship, I never understood the purpose of Project Management.

Even as an absolute novice, who had disregarded Hammer’s principal golden rule and bought unseen.

If you have discussed your plans with a knowledgeable contractor who is working for you, what’s the point of a Project Manager? Won’t the builder simply handle it for you?

And if you’re a reasonably intelligent individual, capable of navigating the treacherous waters of budget overruns and construction calamities, can’t you just oversee a project yourself?

Even in absentia, because coronavirus travel restrictions mean you can’t return to the UK to supervise your project in person?

After all, email and international mobile telecommunications have featured on the communication landscape for decades.

I could almost see McCloud’s quizzical eyebrows arch higher than the dome of the 14th century Spanish villa.

With our own Grand Design, my husband Mark and I were about to discover the merits of hands-on project management.

The hard way.

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