One man’s journey through the sick and twisted world of heroin addiction.
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Standing Room Only
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by Josh Liccardi
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Genre: Fictional Biography
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One man’s journey through the sick and twisted world of heroin addiction. Listen to his every thought as he tries to reexamine life, or what it has become. See each struggle unfold as things get more and more complicated. Learn how to curve the pain, and ultimately how to simply just give up.
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*Please note – due to an Amazon error, the ebook connected to the Amazon paperback is incorrect and NOT by this author!*
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151 Productions ebook * B&N * Paperback Amazon *Goodreads
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It hits me hard. Then it pulls through me like a freight train that is stuck on its rails, but set to full throttle at its fastest speed. The pause button has been pushed. Time is slowed to an almost stop. All the energy in the world enters me through the invisible lines that are attached to every square inch of my body. For a second, I have entirely disappeared. Absorbed into everything else that is….and isn’t. This feeling can only be described as indescribable. Without experiencing it yourself, there is no possible way that one could ever even imagine its magnitude and significance. Soon time will begin again and catch up in a strange and ambiguous way. I can see around things that normally seem so benign and unimportant. A new way of thinking takes over as I try to grasp all the differences between what I’ve been told, and what I am currently actually seeing. Things that normally aren’t this clear are suddenly lit up and almost transparent. Like the answers were always just sitting there right in front of me waiting to be found. This is how I want to feel all the time. I can’t imagine dying without ever having felt this way – I now finally feel as though there was a point to living. A glimpse into the soul this deep should not be passed over. Never again will I see things the way that I used to – through a murky filtered lens. Never again will I feel hopelessly trapped inside of someone else’s great idea that I simply do not agree with or accept. Never again will I fear that there is nothing else to be found. Never again will I search for a way to fill the voids that so profoundly populate my chest. I know that in the physical sense I am sitting on the floor against Dave’s beat up brown couch, but I can’t feel it. A numbness has engulfed my body which pulsates at irregular time intervals as a reminder of its presence. A cyclone of thoughts swirl through my head like watercolors being brushed lazily onto a canvas. There is no pain in this place. No worries. No cares. Just the forever stillness of my physical self that has relaxed to the consistency of putty. This is the high. This is what we all crave and spend all of our energy constantly seeking. It has become irreplaceable. It has become everything.
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Can you, for those who don’t know you already, tell something about yourself and how you became an author?
As far back as I can recall I would write little snippets of thoughts or even short story type excerpts instead of paying attention in school, to pass the monotony of it all. Writing was always a passion that would eat away at me in the back of my mind until I had no choice but to put my thoughts down on paper. Even if these thoughts didn’t formulate into anything more, the act of writing them out and working through the words left me with a cathartic feeling.
What is something unique/quirky about you?
I drink more coffee than water throughout the day and am running out of free skin to tattoo.
I was also recently informed by a close friend that I have a knack for coming up with analogies to describe things, and that I “do this all the time” – after giving it some thought, I don’t think he’s wrong.
Tell us something really interesting that’s happened to you!
Once on a business trip to San Diego I was shocked to run into an old co-worker there who had moved to the area without my knowledge. I live in MA, so to randomly run into someone you actually know literally on the other side of the country seemed extremely odd, and of course, interesting!
What are some of your pet peeves?
I don’t have many that I can think of, however the biggest thing that comes to mind is “giving up”. I personally exhaust every route possible before doing so, and I have come to expect the same from others. The younger people in my life who I’ve had the pleasure of mentoring over the years always get this advice from me – do you best to never give up, you might end up surprising yourself.
Where were you born/grew up at?
I was born in Great Barrington MA and grew up in a nearby town called Hinsdale. It was a rural area with not much to do but to make your own fun, mostly outside either alone or with neighborhood friends.
If you knew you’d die tomorrow, how would you spend your last day?
I would spend the day at the ocean surrounded by loved ones (hopefully), specifically my daughter. Knowing that I was going to die would create immense anxiety, and being at the edge of the water could help with calming my nerves. My daughter would be the last person that I’d want to see before making the final descent into nothingness.
Who is your hero and why?
I can’t really think of anyone (fictional or real) that I would call my “hero”, but if I had to choose, I suppose it would be two people. My Grandfather is one, and the other would by my Father. My Grandfather was an extremely kind person and was someone that I observed for years. I was able to learn a lot from him while I was growing up, and he inadvertently showed me how to deal with most situations in life. My Father is also one of the nicest people you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting. He’s an extremely hard worker and has always chosen to do the right thing in life. Both provided me with many social skills and abilities to navigate life in a respectful manner.
What kind of world ruler would you be?
A peaceful one (if that is at all possible). I have always felt as though we should all help each other as human beings and do what we can to lift those up around us. The world we live in today does not have that mentality, and the people who hold power are generally only concerned with acquiring more of it. As a world leader I would desperately try to push humanity toward hitting a reset button, and changing archaic ways that end up doing more harm than good.
What are you passionate about these days?
I am mostly passionate about my current writing projects, one of which is a comic book series called “Tribes of Erutan” who my closest friend and I have created together. We are close to publishing the second issue and will then immediately be moving on to the third. It’s been a tremendously rewarding project and we hope to create many more in the future. When I’m not working on that specifically, I’ve been writing another novel as well, so that is also at the top of my list lately.
What do you do to unwind and relax?
I rarely have “relaxing” time, however when I do, I usually end up either playing some video games, enjoying a sessions of D&D with some friends, or spending time near the ocean. Every year I travel down to coast of Virginia and just get away from everything around me. Staring into the vastness of the ocean fills me with inspiration while simultaneously having an overall calming effect.
How to find time to write as a parent?
Finding time to do anything as a parent is difficult! When my daughter was still very young the opportunity to write was almost non-existent. There were times where I would have a sudden thought and I would quickly type it out on my phone to not lose the idea etc. Now that she has grown into a teenager, finding time has become a bit easier. I end up writing a lot at night, or simply in between obligations such as work and family activities.
When did you first consider yourself a writer?
Once I published my first novel I began to feel somewhat ok with the title, however I’m not a fan of titles in general. I feel that stamping a title or name on someone/something immediately provides preconceived notions and tends to make people overlook the qualities behind the veil. Anyone can be a “writer”, whether you can invoke feeling in a reader is another thing entirely. My goal is always to make someone feel something.
Do you have a favorite movie?
Too many to list, however a few that come to mind are “Fight Club”, “Trainspotting”, “Donnie Darko”, “The Godfather”,
Which of your novels can you imagine made into a movie?
Definitely Standing Room Only. There is plenty of drama, with some elements of action as well. While some scenes would certainly have some grittiness, I feel like the emotion would come across well on screen.
As a writer, what would you choose as your mascot/avatar/spirit animal?
An English Bulldog – hands down. I’m only slightly biased due to having my own 12 year old English Bulldog, but seriously I think they’re amazing dogs despite their physical challenges. They are incredibly stubborn yet extremely loyal and dedicated. I cannot help but smile every time I see one.
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Josh Liccardi is an American author who grew up in the Berkshires located in Western Massachusetts. He was born in 1981 to a small family and grew up in a rural area 15 miles away from a small centralized city. With not much to do he spent his time creating scenarios for himself and other neighborhood kids near him in order to pass the time outside of school. At an early age Josh became interested in computers and started learning their ways from the inside out, which ended up turning into a career choice as he aged. School was never of much interest, but Josh did attend some college, before dropping out and focusing solely on his first IT job. The years went by and he bounced around between a few different companies, but still to this day is working in IT. When not engrossed in work he was able to find time to write various things, which did get put on hold after the birth of his daughter. Josh is able to focus more on writing now however and recently created 151 Productions with his dear friend and artist Shawn. Through this endeavor Shawn and Josh will continue to create and publish various works such as a comic book series as well as upcoming novels that are already in process. They are both very grateful to get their creations out into the world and hope to share their art for years to come.
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