Featuring ‘The Beast’, an expedition truck, as seen on TV*
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A Vintage Truck: An Amateur Team: An Immovable Deadline
The Comic Memoir of a Crazy Idea
In this captivating true story, join an intrepid married couple as they take another wild leap into the world of nomadic living.
Four years previously, Jackie and Mark gave up work to embark on a permanent road trip with four dogs. However, one Friday the 13th, forces beyond their control cause them to throw caution to the wind and buy a 30-year-old army truck sight unseen from the internet.
Their goal: to create an expedition truck fit to drive overland to Mongolia.
Follow them as they dive headfirst into the daunting but thrilling task of converting this rugged vehicle into a perfect off-grid tiny house on wheels.
Yet their first ever DIY van conversion proves to be a rollercoaster ride, when they sell their house to fund the build, and Friday the 13th comes back to haunt them.
Is their confidence that, ‘there’s always a solution,’ misplaced?
With their relationship, sanity, and finances on the line, can they navigate the pitfalls of their first-ever build and avoid becoming homeless?
Filled with quirky van life friends and unexpected twists, this is an inspiring tale of perseverance, friendship, and finding the courage to conquer the challenges that face those who dare to chase their dreams.
* The Beast made a guest appearance on Ben Fogle’s New Lives In The Wild
ARC Reviews:
“An honest and often funny account of the realities of when people actually begin to live their dream.” Anna Rashbrook, Author
“A page-turner!…You never know what will happen next!” Carrie Riseley, Author
“The trials and tribulations of building a home on six wheels, told with laughter and insight… a must read – even if it’s just to stop you making the same mistakes!” Maximilian Sam, Award-Winning Author
“This book is a fantastic look at designing a unique project and going for it with humor and perseverance. If one is tired of another ‘chucking it all and renovating an old house’ story, this is a quixotic twist that will keep you entertained.” Kari Iverson Lane
“Hugely inspirational, because I think many would have just given up trying, with all the things they had to put in place to get their dream of owning and converting The Beast off the ground. What a story – and a fabulously entertaining book/read.” Julie Haigh, Goodreads Librarian and Top 1,000 Amazon reviewer.
**Get it for Only .99 cents!**
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Grand Designs
Word Count 693
This is the first chapter, and gives a humorous idea of what caused us to embark on our vehicular Grand Design. Grand Designs features in the narrative of the book, with a few guest appearances from virtual Kevin McCloud at strategic stages in the build!
Grand Designs
I have an admission to make. Property renovation programmes are my guilty pleasure – and an inspiration.
First and foremost, I’m a Hammer Head.
For years, Homes Under the Hammer was my weekday daytime paramour. ‘Hammer,’ as it’s known to aficionados, features unsuspecting buyers purchasing property at auction. They aspire to find rubies in the rough and profit from the plain, but frequently end up with dry rot, subsidence, and a blown budget.
This happens most often when they ignore Hammer’s golden rules.
- ALWAYS view before bidding.
- Read the legal pack.
- Set a budget and stick to it.
I love the variety of projects they feature: from old sewage works to pieces of industrial wasteland, with every type of residential dwelling in between. But, a highlight for me is the literal soundtrack. The music is truly inspiring. They might pair the ‘Before’ montage of a ramshackle wreck with This Ole House by Shakin’ Stevens. Dodgy circuitry? Cue Eddy Grant’s Electric Avenue. My all-time favourite was the outstanding appropriation of Billy Idol’s Rebel Yell for a many-bedroomed residence whose only toilet was outside. I’m certain that in the midnight hour, the young lady who cried for more, more, more was not lodging an impassioned request additional indoor privies.
From the beginning, George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces has been grist to the mill of my tiny home aspirations. Here, subjects create bonkers but bijou living quarters from sheds, tree houses, or an odd assortment of base vehicles such as a derelict boat, a retired London bus, or a decommissioned Sea King helicopter fuselage strapped to a flatbed truck.
But if it’s wild ambition meeting unfettered eccentricity you’re after, there’s always the granddaddy of them all, Grand Designs.
Since 1999, architect Kevin McCloud, MBE, clad in a blazer with his trademark woolly scarf rippling behind in a breeze of creativity, follows the visionaries of this world. The ones who drive humanity forward with their crazy thinking, experimental ideas, and unwavering optimism. People prepared to sacrifice their sanity – along with their relationships and their grandchildren’s inheritance – on the altar of their bold, unconventional, and sometimes hopelessly insane, home-building dreams.
Who can forget the “heroic” Eco Arch house, whose domed roof was a confection of ceramic tiles and plaster of Paris last seen in 14th century Spain? It partially collapsed when one of the crew leaned on it. Or the monumental challenge of Yorkshire’s Hellifield Peel Tower? A stately seven-bedroom family castle raised from an 800-year-old pile of Grade-1-listed rubble, despite the central wall disintegrating and the costs exploding. Or the builds based on the shape of an ammonite fossil or a hamster wheel?
At key milestones, McCloud pops in to survey the subject’s progress, proffer wise counsel, and gently allude to flaws in design and logic. Then, he presents his signature soliloquy to camera like a wandering, windblown poet.
“This collapsing beam is no mere structural support. It is the spine of Rufus’ aspirations. The backbone of Camilla’s dream.”
When he returns to find the unfortunate couple/kids/newborns spending another unexpected winter in a caravan surrounded by freezing mud and construction chaos, McCloud may discuss the pros and cons of their approach to Project Management.
Regardless of my decades long televisual apprenticeship, I never understood the purpose of Project Management.
Even as an absolute novice, who had disregarded Hammer’s principal golden rule and bought unseen.
If you have discussed your plans with a knowledgeable contractor who is working for you, what’s the point of a Project Manager? Won’t the builder simply handle it for you?
And if you’re a reasonably intelligent individual, capable of navigating the treacherous waters of budget overruns and construction calamities, can’t you just oversee a project yourself?
Even in absentia, because coronavirus travel restrictions mean you can’t return to the UK to supervise your project in person?
After all, email and international mobile telecommunications have featured on the communication landscape for decades.
I could almost see McCloud’s quizzical eyebrows arch higher than the dome of the 14th century Spanish villa.
With our own Grand Design, my husband Mark and I were about to discover the merits of hands-on project management.
The hard way.
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10 Things I’ve Learned from Life on the Road
My husband, Mark and I, packed up our life in 2016 to embark on a 3-year trip in our caravan (RV trailer.)
Eight years into that 3-year trip, it seems we underestimated how addictive travel could be.
So here we are, still touring, but in The Beast, a rather more rugged vehicle we converted to take us even further off the beaten path.
When we set out, we were complete newbies, but in the intervening time, we’ve picked up a few tips. Here, I want to share with you some of the lessons we’ve learned from life on the road.
- Never Miss An Opportunity To Pee: From 25-years as a field sales representative to my days as a permanent nomad, I’ve learned the importance of seizing bathroom opportunities whenever possible. Failure to accept this truth invites a three-hour traffic jam and a rock-solid guarantee that when you get there, the next convenience will be out of order.
- Value Experience Over Stuff: In 1994, a rafting trip down the Zambezi taught me a valuable lesson: that happiness comes from enjoying life, not owning things. I spent a week sleeping under the stars on riverside beaches with only two sets of clothing – wet and dry – yet I’ve never felt so happy or fulfilled. These days, nearly everything I own is in the truck. I don’t feel weighed down by possessions I don’t need or use. There’s nothing I want, and nothing I could own that would make me any happier than I am. Having enough, and being satisfied with it, is rather a fine way to exist.
- Pack Light – But Don’t Skimp on Underwear: You never need as much as you think. I considered it a huge fail to return from a trip with unworn clothing in my suitcase. On our honeymoon to Costa Rica, however, I discovered my new husband didn’t share this belief. “I backpacked for four months around Australasia with two t-shirts and two pairs of shorts!” I mocked as I chucked things out of his rucksack. Unfortunately, in Costa Rica it was too humid to dry laundry, so we both ran out of clothes… Nevertheless, it is a truth universally acknowledged that you can never have too many undies – which probably saved my nascent marriage from me and my minimal packing. Whatever life throws at you, it will never seem so bad if you’ve got a clean pair of undies!
- Embrace the Unexpected: Some of our best adventures have come from saying “yes” to random things. Once, we set off for Spain, but turned left and went to Romania – one of our best ever trips.
- People Not Places: I have visited over 50 countries and six of the seven continents. However, when I’m asked which country was my favourite, it’s curious that what I remember most vividly is not spectacular landscapes, architecture, or wildlife, although this is clearly a big part of it. It’s almost always the people. The kindness of strangers and connections with fellow travellers is what makes our journeys memorable.
- Decide For Yourself: Make decisions based on your own experiences and research. The horror stories we’ve been told about countries we plan to visit almost always come from folk who’ve never been there. Almost always, the hearsay and speculation are entirely wrong.
- Never Trust A GPS: After towing a caravan across two cornfields and along a footpath in Romania, I can say this with great conviction. It’s why we renamed our satnav ‘Naffsat’… Although our paper map also claimed the footpath was a road.
- Hope For The Best: Plan For The Worst: When things go wrong on the road – and they definitely will – preparation is key. Carry spares of anything that is critical to your trip, be it a camera, phone, satnav, recovery equipment, or mechanical components for your vehicle. A spare phone that is ready to go with all your contacts, apps, passwords, and photos of key documents loaded could be a lifesaver. Remember the explorer’s adage: ‘Two is one and one is none.’
- Lose Your Temper: Lose The Argument: This was one of my dad’s empirical truths. He was a mathematician, and his sanguine logic used to drive Mum mad. Obviously, Dad never lost an argument… However, during stressful situations on the road, keeping calm and problem-solving together is far more productive than yelling and finger pointing. When things go wrong, even if it is your companion’s fault, blaming and arguing won’t solve the problem. It simply delays the solution.
- Home Is Where You Park It: I’ve always been a restless soul. Although I lived in the house where I was born until I left for university, aged 17, I’ve never felt a strong connection to a particular place. I met Mark when I was 35, and had moved house 22 times! A fellow traveller once asked me, “What does home mean to you?” My answer, “It’s wherever Mark and The Fab Four, my four fur babies, are.” So, I really mean that Home is Where The Heart Is.
So, next time you hit the road with your loved ones, remember these wisdoms, and embrace the adventure that awaits.
And don’t forget to pack extra undies.
Trust me, you’ll thank me later!
Find Jackie’s books on Amazon: https://author.to/JLambert
Follow her travel blog: www.WorldWideWalkies.com
Visit her author website: www.JacquelineLambert.co.uk
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Jacqueline (Jackie) Lambert is an award-winning travel writer, adventure traveller, and dogmother, who loves history and curious facts.
BC (Before Canines) she rafted, rock-climbed, and backpacked around six of the seven continents. A passionate windsurfer and skier, she can fly a plane, has been bitten by a lion, and appeared on Japanese TV as a fire-eater.
AD (After Dog), she quit work in 2016 to hit the road permanently with her husband and four pooches. Initially, they were Adventure Caravanners, who aimed To Boldly Go Where No Van Has Gone Before.
Now, they’re at large in a self-converted six-wheel army lorry, with Mongolia in their sights.
All her books and the anthologies that include her travel stories are available on Amazon:
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https://author.to/JLambert
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Photo: Mark, Jackie & The Fab Four with The Beast. Photo courtesy of @Liveration, who made a short film about the crew and their lifestyle on YouTube.
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