Archive for the ‘horror’ Category

Looking for something to read now that the holidays are fast approaching?

Here’s a quickie that’ll wet your appetite. And it’s free!

Scroll down for an excerpt and how to get your copy.

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A message and excerpt from Anthony Renfro

There it is. The brand new cover for A Zombie Thanksgiving. I know it isn’t the holidays yet, but now is the time to grab yourself a free copy. I want to thank Pixabay for the image and Empire of the Claw for the font. I also want to send a special shout out to Laura for the Beta Read. Okay, here is the new intro. Hope you enjoy it.

Dawn stopped at the edge of the parking lot. What she saw in front of her was an apocalyptic nightmare. It was a picture of mass panic frozen in a time of chaos.

The parking lot looked like a war zone–cars burned to metal bodies, cars crashed together, cars turned over, shopping carts everywhere and in all kinds of positions, (food and supplies in these carts long since looted), and bodies, lots and lots of dead bodies. Most of them had been laying out here rotting in the hot sun for far too long, and they were now decayed and gooey, slipping back into the Earth one second at a time.

She closed her eyes, held the gold cross on a chain around her neck, prayed, and then crossed the parking lot.

She stopped when she reached the double doors that led into the grocery store. Sunlight gleamed off what was left of the glass in the frame, shards on the ground twinkled like stars. Two zombies shuffled out of the store, heading in her tasty direction. Dead things. Rotten things. Been walking around for a long time now as a corpse things. A couple of quick pops of her gun and both of them went down hard. Perfect, clean, head shots. Blood splattered ground.

Dawn looked to her left and right, back to the store in front of her, and then she turned around to make sure nothing was behind her. No other zombies shuffled about in the late fall heat, at least not from where she was standing; but there was a man, she did see a man, coming across the parking lot towards her. He stood about medium height, not too pudgy, not too thin. He had to be about 40 years old, she thought, as he put his hands up to show he wasn’t a threat.

“Who are you?” She asked, as she aimed her gun at him.

The guy looked down at her gun with the silencer on it, pointed directly at his gut. A nasty shot that would not end him instantly. “My name’s Mike, Mike Beem. You?”

“Dawn Sprig,” she replied, and paused. “Have you been following me?”

“I haven’t, just happened to see you crossing the parking lot. Thought I would walk over and see if you needed any help.”

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t, because she was terrified of being out here on her own without her boyfriend. So, she faked it the best she could. “Just need to do a little shopping. I hope my credit is still good,” she replied, smiling, hoping to ease the tension.

“Store’s probably picked over.”

“Probably, but there might be something left for the Thanksgiving Holiday,” she replied, lowering her weapon.

“I’m stuck on Christmas.”

“Any luck?”

“Some.” He paused. “You sure you don’t want me to go in with you? I can help if the store is overrun. Always nice to have back up.”

She wanted to say yes, she really did, but even though she had lowered her gun, stranger danger still popped into her mind when she looked at him. He might seem like a nice guy out here, but in there, in the dark, he could be someone totally different. “I’d rather go it alone. If you don’t mind? I’m better that way. No offense.”

“None taken. I Understand.”

“Thanks, though, for the offer.”

“Sure. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving.”

“You too, Mike.”

He made his way out of the parking lot, and Dawn took another quick scan. No zombies about, just Mike evaporating into the distance. She turned back to the store, steadied her nerves, and turned on her light (this light was on a strap that ran around her head, so she could keep her hands free).  She made sure her weapons were ready to do the job they were meant to do, knife in place and gun ready to fire. She started to walk, ever so slightly, crunching on broken glass, moving from the light into the dark.

The smell inside the store wasn’t pleasant. All kinds of putrid things in a state of decay mingled and danced together in the non-air-conditioned air. Those smells were having a nice party in this tight enclosed airless space. Dawn tried to hold her breath and not breathe in too much of it, as she stopped just inside the double doors. She kneeled down in front of two bodies that were dead, flat, and squished. These bodies (elderly man and woman) looked like they had fallen down and nobody had bothered to help them up as the crowd trampled over them in a mad rush for supplies. She said a prayer for them, and then stood up. That’s when she heard it. It was a clicking sound, silent electronic keys being punched over and over again, hard to hear unless you were inside the store. She turned her light in the direction of that sound.

A quick note. Mike, the man Dawn bunps into in the parking lot, appears in A Zombie Christmas. He has quite a story to tell too.

Get A Zombie Thanksgiving free at the links below or anywhere Amazon is available.

Amazon: US / UK / AU / CA

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My Review

They say the holidays are no longer celebrated because of the zombie apocalypse.

Try telling that to Dawn. All she wants is to bring a little bit of normalcy into their lives. To remind them they are human, that they are still alive, that there is hope.

Guns and knife in hand, Dawn sets off to the grocery store to see if she can find a turkey. I know, this sounds nuts. But people get desperate for the old days, the easy days.

As Dawn stumbles over dead bodies and crashed, abandoned vehicles, she inevitably runs across some shufflers. She takes care of them coldly, efficiently. This is the new way of life.

Meanwhile, back at the safe place, George is handed a note by another survivor in their group. It appears Dawn has left to get food. Fool girl. Doesn’t she know there are zombies out there. What is so important she’d risk this by herself?

I can’t quite put my finger on it, but somehow the author had me feeling the warmth of Thanksgiving. Even As Dawn and George fought off the ravenous zombies that want them for dinner.

Dawn’s fierce determination has me adding her to my list of top female protagonists. She’s not going to stop until she finds that bird!

And George is just as determined. Determined to find Dawn and get her safely back where she belongs. All limbs attached. I liked how his initial frustration turned to alpha male, to lover, as he set out to find her.

I had my fingers and toes crossed for these two. The ending was not set in stone just because it’s Thanksgiving. Maybe the zombies got a nice dinner. Nobody told them they don’t celebrate the holiday.

5 Stars

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Until the next time….

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

 

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I had such fun with the first book, Paradise Rot. And I’m thrilled to share the second book, Once Again, With Blood.

Lots of laughs and adventure await. But beware. You might get more than you bargained for!

Once Again, With Blood

The Island Trilogy

Book 2

Larry Weiner

Once Again Front Cover

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Genre: Horror/Dark Comedy

Publisher: Forsaken

Imprint of Booktrope

ISBN: 2940150858305

Number of pages: 220

Cover Artist: Larry Weiner

 

Book Description:

“We’re getting the band back together!”

For Kyle Brightman, bipolar advertising-industry burnout, this is good news and bad news. Good, because he’ll get to see his zombie-killing friends again, and be reunited with Cate, the zombie he loves (yeah, yeah, I know, read PARADISE ROT and you’ll get it). Bad, because having to blast his way through battalions of bloodless corpses took a brutal toll on Kyle’s already fragile psyche. But duty, and booty, calls. And soon Kyle finds himself on another tropical island, duped again into creating an ad campaign to lure unsuspecting Middle Americans into the greedy mouth of ancient madness. This time, it’s vampires. But with the help of a) his comrades-in-ass-kicking; b) the love of a good (cold) woman; c) the enduring power of Herb Alpert; and d) the awesomeness that is Charo, Kyle just might find a way to save thousands of lives. And what little’s left of his sanity.

Splattered with folklore, dripping with history, ONCE AGAIN, WITH BLOOD, Larry Weiner’s sequel to the uproarious comic romp PARADISE ROT, is what you get if Jimmy Buffett, Carl Hiaasen, Sarah Silverman and Hunter S. Thompson took turns pummeling Anne Rice with a cricket bat.

Available at Amazon   BN

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Here’s a ‘bite’ from Chapter One. I didn’t include the whole chapter as my post would be way too long. But this will give you a tasty morsel!

“YOU’RE A NEWBIE. I MEAN, LOOK AT YOU. That look of terror. I’ve seen it before.

Of course, it was during a zombie invasion, but still. Whoops! That last sentence freaked you out. S’okay. Let’s focus.

“First, you’re doing it wrong. All wrong. You gotta calm down or you’re not gonna survive it. I’m about to make your life easier. I’m babbling right now because I’ve had a slight psychotic break. Not really a break, more a sabbatical from reality. It’s okay, they’ll give me a new drug cocktail plus some Law & Order, and I’ll be back in action.

“Back to you. Here’s the way it works. Used to be that when you got a patient in who was out of his mind, whether from psychosis or crank or whatever, you’d strap him down with his arms at his sides and cart him off. Problem was, these tortured souls would pull on the restraints so hard, it’d dislocate their shoulders, and then the real howling would start—not to mention the potential litigation. Now, since they’re in pain, they’re gonna smack their heads on the gurney repeatedly. Let ‘em. It’s a padded gurney. They’ll end up with a terrific headache. I suppose you can give yourself a mild concussion. Anyway, it’s the shoulders that were the problem. So someone, and I don’t know who, but someone, maybe a yoga instructor or a cop, came up with the idea of strapping the crazies one hand up by the side of the head, one down by the hip. Did they demonstrate that to you? They should, along with the Fleet enemas. Try some of that shit, chief. See what I did there? Focus. One hand over the head, the other by the side. Now you’re talking incapacitation. Right? Such a simple solution. Almost elegant.

“So listen, you’re the new guy and seem reasonably intelligent so I wanna give you some tools to utilize while working the psych ward. Here they are. First, let them masturbate excessively.

They’re burning off angst and energy and if you stop them they’ll do shit like stab each other in the eye with a plastic knife. There are not a lot of ways to blow off some steam in a psych ward. In fact, you might want to suggest they pass out hand lotion with toothpaste. You see a lot of awkward gaits around here—part of the reason is because they’re walking around with chafed cocks. Next, obsessively watching a TV show does not a crazy person make. It’s the repetition and predictability of the characters that provide comfort. A patient feeling safe is one who won’t try to hang himself off a doorknob. Lastly, tell everyone, regardless of how fucked up they are, that things are going to be okay and they’re gonna get through this. Even the thrice-admitted homeless paranoid schizophrenic meth addict. You tell ‘em they’re gonna be A-OK. Even if you know that it’s bullshit. It’ll make things go a lot smoother and you’ll breathe a little humanity into an otherwise inhumane situation.

“Remember, your job is to get ‘em back on their feet and get them the hell out of Dodge. That’s it. I’m sure you have questions, but it’s been a long day for me and I could really use some Law & Order SVU. It’ll help with the coming down. They’ve gotta process my paperwork. It’s gonna take a while before they even get to me. Law & Order. It’ll be on TNT, Bravo, and USA. Possibly on NBC. There are a few constants in the universe. One of them being that at any given time an episode of Law & Order is running somewhere on Earth. The lounge is off to your left. Why don’t we go hang out in there for a while? Don’t put me next to someone with their hands jammed down their pants. I’m in no mood for that shit. Watching that is like pissing out my soul. You’ll see.”

The orderly, a young man with thick horn-rimmed glasses, stood over Kyle Brightman, a little unsure of how to proceed. Kyle was right. The young orderly was in fact into his third day on the psych ward and had not yet mastered the skills for telling which patients had lost their way versus which patients were the truly batshit among them. Kyle seemed near normal, though he was brought in for beating a tourist couple at Pike Place Market with a twenty-fivepound salmon. The tourists, Scandinavians, had cut into a line that Kyle had been in for ten minutes. When Kyle let them know there was a line, the Scandinavians waved Kyle off.

But how could the Scandinavians know that Kyle Brightman had seen some things this past year, things they wouldn’t believe, and had just come out of a broken relationship that smashed his heart into a million pieces? True, he instigated it by running away, but still. He looked like just another Seattleite, not someone who had survived a zombie war in the Caribbean and a subsequent relationship with a zombie woman. There were a great many things they didn’t know about Kyle, chief among them that there were moments when he knew he was about to do the wrong thing but felt compelled to do it anyway. So, they cut in line and Kyle grabbed the first thing he saw, a gigantic Copper River salmon, and commenced beating the Scandinavian tourists with it. The rest was all screams and a bin of mussels thrown at the bewildered Scandinavians when the salmon fell apart. It was meltdownville after that, and, once again, Kyle found himself at St. Eligius, fifth-floor psych ward.

It had been little over a year since his last visit.

After the paperwork, Kyle was shown to his room, where he found his clean pajamas on the bed. The bed next to him was empty and still made. Kyle had hoped he would have the room to himself. The last time, he ended up with Oscar Pilson, ex-military, ex-Halliburton mercenary and eventually a good friend who now shared a life in the Caribbean sunshine with the woman-with-no-name and her talking Chihuahua. The very sunshine he had abandoned to come back to the Northwest and lose his shit once again. Just like Cate said he would.

At the time he said Cate was full of it, but in the back of his mind a tiny voice had said, “We’ll see you soon.”

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Paradise Rot

The Island Trilogy

Book One

by Larry Weiner

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My Review

Welcome to tropical paradise. Welcome to The Isle of St. Agrippina. White sandy beaches. Delicious blended drinks. And island cuisine.

But beware. All is not as it seems. And you just might wind up on the menu.

You see, this long abandoned and now reopened and freshly renovated resort is run by zombies. Not the good ones, if there is such a thing, but the hungry ones. And their brains are working just fine. You’ll see.

Kyle, an advertising exec, should have known it was too good to be true. In fact, he did. Who would hire someone straight from the loony bin? But that didn’t stop him from using the plane ticket and jetting to a tropical paradise.

Right from the get go, things are weird. And they keep getting weirder.

What’s with the slow moving people with their perfect over-white teeth, spray on tans, and practiced pronunciation.

Who is the lady in the woods who likes to conk you over the head and drag you to a bar in the jungle tended buy some weird guy.

And did he really see a chihuahua with it’s butt on wheels, and did it actually speak?

I would have given this book 5 Stars just for the ingenuity. But I also laughed out loud, loved the eccentric mish mash of characters, and couldn’t get enough.

Looking for some fun with zombies. Give this one a try. And the next book, Once More, With Blood, is available now so you won’t have to wait for more fun.

5 Stars

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Book Description:

 

Kyle Brightman—late of the advertising industry and soon-to-be-late of the 5th floor psych ward—has a job offer he can’t refuse. A new resort in the Caribbean is looking for an art director.

Kyle soon finds himself on the Isle of St. Agrippina working alongside a beautiful copywriter with an icy handshake. Questions arise: Why does the resort management team sport spray-on tans in the Bahamas? How can the resort offer such cheap vacation packages? What does one do with vats of Astroglide?

To get the answers, Kyle must first navigate a series of wildly unpredictable events with a cast of even more wildly unpredictable characters, including a seductress jungle assassin, her partially paralyzed talking Chihuahua, an Ivy League Rastafarian seaplane captain, Kyle’s ex-psych ward roommate, a former Haliburton mercenary, and a French tavern owner with a fondness for goats, all set to the greatest hits of the 70’s. Pablo Cruise never felt so right.

Amazon   BN

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About the Author:

Larry Weiner

 

Larry Weiner is the author of PARADISE ROT (BOOK ONE), ONCE AGAIN, WITH BLOOD (BOOK TWO) and the forthcoming HINDU SEX ALIENS (BOOK THREE) that make up the Island Trilogy. Larry earned a degree in film from CSULA and was an award-winning art director. He lives on an island in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, two kids and a gaggle of animals. He plays bass and thus has poor hearing.

Website / Twitter / Facebook / Goodreads

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Until the next time….

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

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This is a Tag Team Event hosted by myself and Sherry.

 I have some exciting news to share with you about Dinosaur lake III.  Read on to learn how you can win some books!

After reading my review, head on over to Sherry’s blog at fundinmental for more and check out her review. Two chances to win!

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Dinosaur Lake III

Infestation

by Kathryn Meyer Griffith

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My Review

The first book in this series had me on the edge of my seat. The action was intense and the scares were awesome.

The second book was just as, if not more, intense. And the bodies piled up.

Between those first two books, you lose some beloved characters and some not so loved.

So, now for the third book in the Dinosaur Lake series.

I started this book feeling a bit worried. After the first two, I wondered if the author could keep up the intense action and suspense. She didn’t disappoint. In fact, this may be the most nail biting of them all.

The dinosaurs are rampant with a capital R! They are everywhere, in many shapes and sizes. And, of course, they are very hungry.

Chief Park Ranger Henry Shore and his wife, Ann, have made it through many dangerous encounters with these monsters over several years, losing friends and hope. They managed to triumph, but this time they might not be so lucky.

Dinosaurs are emerging again. So many, so hungry, so unstoppable. It’s not just the park and their town in danger anymore. The dinosaurs are popping up all over the US and Canada and who knows whether this will become a worldwide phenomenon. It may be the beginning of the age of dinosaurs again.

I have to applaud Kathryn. She gave me more dinosaurs. Bigger, meaner ones, and sneaky, littler ones. The scenes of carnage were bloody wild and so many of them. I got all the action I could ever want.

And the characters. Well, there are my favorites, mentions of loved ones lost, and some new ones. I was crossing fingers and toes that my favorites would survive. You never know with this author.

I sure hope there are more books coming in this series. Please let there be more!

While this is the third book in the series, you could easily pick up the story here. But, if you are a fan of action, intense suspense, and monsters, you’ll want to, need to, go back and read the other books.

5 Dynobite Stars

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Synopsis

Chief Park Ranger Henry Shore has dealt with and fought real live dinosaurs at his beloved Crater Lake National Park for over six years. With the help of his rangers, a few brave FBI friends and army soldiers he’d been victorious over a prehistoric lake creature and years later some particularly fiendish, and clever, specimens of the flying variety. He and his newspaper publisher wife, Ann, thought their park was finally rid of the monsters and they could reclaim their tranquil life in a place they cherished. Not so. For suddenly across the park new and even more malevolent mutant species of dinosaur begin to appear and create havoc, attacking the park’s visitors and threatening its peace. And this time the primeval scourge isn’t confined to just their park. The creatures have moved into the nearby towns, across the western United States and up into Canada. They are so much more aggressive, smarter and hungrier than any that have come before and the infestation is spreading further and faster than Henry and Ann can even imagine. This time there’s no easy way to defeat the dinosaurs. There’s too many of them and they’re too devious. This time it’s full out war and the victor will someday claim Earth.

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Dinosaur Lake II

Dinosaurs Arising

by Kathryn Meyer Griffith

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My Review

Here we go again. Chief Park Ranger Henry Shore thinks its over. They killed the dinosaur and he’s pretty sure they destroyed all of the eggs. But when strange things start happening in the park, when another ranger has to fight off a large creature to save some visitor’s, it looks like it’s not over.

Things go from bad, to horrific when one of the trolleys, full of tourists, is attacked by something huge, like the thing in the park, yet larger, and it has wings.

It looks like Henry will have to do battle with dinosaurs again, and he’ll have help from his rangers, along with some soldiers and his son-in-law.

Winged gargoyles, that’s what they look like, but much larger.

They are breeding. They fly and are no longer confined to Henry’s beloved park. They are hungry and they need food for their offspring. The park and surrounding towns become their feeding ground.

No one is safe.

I couldn’t wait to read this after finishing the first book. I love books and movies about dinosaurs, especially when they appear in modern times.

There’s so many things Kathryn does really well in her stories. Let me explain.

She gives you authentic characters. They have their flaws, foibles. You like them or you don’t.

When the town sheriff scoffed at the idea of dinosaurs, refused to believe they exist even after the town gets attacked, I could picture him. Standing there, shaking his head, a sneer on his lips, a posture of superiority. I figured he’d get eaten.

And this is my favorite thing she does. She kills off her characters. You don’t want to become too fond of them, but with some you will. And just because they may survive a first encounter, don’t count on them surviving a second one. I’m not saying the sheriff died. I’m not saying they all die. But I wouldn’t want to be in any of their shoes when the dust settles.

The author also doesn’t waste any time getting the carnage going. She quickly drops you in the middle of the mayhem and scares the bejesus out of you. The story never slows down. The suspense and dread builds and builds, and knocks you on your butt. You’ll want to look away, but you won’t be able to. You’ll have to keep reading, find out what happens.

Let’s get to the monsters now. They are just that, monsters. They may be dinosaurs, but they’re unlike the ones from history. They’ve evolved, are very different. I like that Kathryn chose to liken these dinosaurs to gargoyles. The first thing you think of when flying dinosaurs are mentioned is Pterodactyl’s. But not these. They are giant gargoyle like things. And they are blood thirsty, cunning, and relentless. They never stop coming for you.

Every book Kathryn writes is like this. She never lets you down. All of her characters, strong or weak, are genuinely written. We may scoff at their actions, but they are theirs not ours. It’s important to remember that.

And the action and suspense are almost immediate and it’s always a mad dash to the end. Usually with lots of people screaming. LOL

I loved this every bit as much as the first book. I missed some characters that didn’t survive the first one. Loved some of the new ones. I know I shouldn’t have. Lots of people die. But that’s what made this so good. It was unpredictable and the idea of where the creatures came from was plausible. That’s what really creeped me out.

This is everything I hoped for from the author and now I’ve just finished the third book. Holy hell, it’s awesome too!

5 Stars

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Synopsis

Prehistoric creatures have again invaded Crater Lake National Park
…and this time there’s more than one.

DINOSAUR LAKE II: Dinosaurs Arising
by Kathryn Meyer Griffith
Henry Shore has been Chief Park Ranger at Crater Lake National Park for thirteen years now and thought the days when he’d had to fight a rogue dinosaur that lived in the caves below the lake were long over.
Until one of his park rangers, to save a visitor’s life, is in a deadly struggle out in the woods with a new breed of dinosaur worse than the last one. It’s as big as a man, but this one is a young one. And growing.
Then more of the creatures begin to show up everywhere, threatening people and destroying the tranquility and safety of his beloved park.
A tourist trolley filled with fifteen people is snatched up off the crater’s rim by another version of the younger one…but this one has grown into a giant with fangs, claws and a deadly tail.
And this one has wings.
Ugly Gargoyles, Henry calls them.
For this one isn’t alone.
They’re flying beyond the park’s boundaries into the neighboring towns.
So Henry, with the help of his son-in-law, a paleontologist named Justin, and a band of brave park rangers, and a few good soldiers, must not only protect his park and his people from monsters once more but find their lair and destroy it and them before the creatures kill again.

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 Dinosaur Lake

by Kathryn Meyer Griffith.

This book is free on Amazon right now! Click on the cover to grab a copy!

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My Review

Enter at your own risk. There be a huge freakin dinosaur here.

I love books with creatures in them. This one has a dinosaur. A dinosaur that tasted humans and put them at the top of its list. We may be noisy, what with all the screamin, but we’re oh so tasty.

Chief Ranger Henry Shore likes to get out from behind his desk. He enjoys taking out tours now and then. The park is his love and he jumps at any chance to get out there.

The threat of an earthquake has him concerned. It’s predicted they’ll be hit with a major one, and if the tremors he feels are any indication, it could be soon. The rumors of a giant creature seen in Crater Lake make him pause. Maybe the earlier earthquake released something from the caverns under the lake.

When a couple of the boat captains from the lake tours go missing and all that’s recovered are their shattered boats, Henry begins to believe in the rumors. And when a group of campers are attacked, people are missing, blood and bits of gore are strewn around, and a trail of shattered trees leaves a huge trail to the lake, Henry has no choice but to believe the witnesses testimonies of a gigantic monster, a dinosaur, that attacked and ate their friends.

The creature has come on land and is ranging further and further from the lake to find the tasty morsels he craves and needs. No one is safe and Henry wonders how far the evacuation should go.

Henry has big problems. Will it go into the towns? Where is its lair? When will it strike again and how the hell can he stop it? He wants his park back. With the help of fellow rangers and one strange ex- FBI agent who deals in the unusual, he takes the fight to the monster and many die.

Dinosaur Lake starts out tranquil and quickly becomes a nightmare. When the creature discovers how tasty we are, it wants more. It’s intelligent and cunning and likes to play with its food.

I can’t imagine what is scarier, knowing it’s going to eat you, or having it play cat and mouse with you before crunching you between its giant teeth. A couple of the munching scenes had me squirming, feeling so sad for the victims. I knew they were goners.

The author slowly builds the terror, lulling you and then springing out at you, just like the creature.

Some characters I liked got killed off. Some survived. I kept fearing the worst as the pages flew by. I know the author has to kill off some of the characters, but I wish I could’ve saved a couple. This definitely makes for emotional and suspenseful reading.

Great writing, an awesome creature, likeable and diverse characters, chaos and terror. Everything I require in a creature feature.

Five Stars for Dinosaur Lake

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About Author Kathryn Meyer Griffith

Photo_black_capSince childhood I’ve been an artist and worked as a graphic designer in the corporate world and for newspapers for twenty-three years before I quit to write full time. But I’d already begun writing novels at 21, over forty-three years ago now, and have had twenty-two (nine romantic horror, two horror novels, two romantic SF horror, one romantic suspense, one romantic time travel, one historical romance, two thrillers, and three murder mysteries) previous novels, two novellas and twelve short stories published from Zebra Books, Leisure Books, Avalon Books, The Wild Rose Press, Damnation Books/Eternal Press; and I’ve self-published my last six novels with Amazon Kindle Direct and my dinosaur novels and Spookie Town Mysteries are my best-sellers.

I’ve been married to Russell for thirty-six years; have a son, James, and two grandchildren, Joshua and Caitlyn, and I live in a small quaint town in Illinois, which is right across the JB Bridge from St. Louis, Mo. We have three quirky cats, ghost cat Sasha and Cleo and live cat Sasha (Too), and the five of us live happily in an old house in the heart of town. Though I’ve been an artist, and a folk singer in my youth with my brother Jim, writing has always been my greatest passion, my butterfly stage, and I’ll probably write stories until the day I die…or until my memory goes.

2012 EPIC EBOOK AWARDS *FINALIST* for my horror novel The Last VampireRevised Author’s Edition ~ 2014 EPIC EBOOK AWARDS *FINALIST* for her thriller novel Dinosaur Lake.

*Click here to check out Kathryn Meyer Griffith’s.

Novels and short stories from Kathryn Meyer Griffith:

Evil Stalks the Night, The Heart of the Rose, Blood Forge, Vampire Blood, The Last Vampire,

Witches, The Nameless One short story, The Calling, All Things Slip Away, Egyptian Heart,

Winter’s Journey, The Ice Bridge, Don’t Look Back, Agnes, Before the End: A Time of Demons, The Woman in Crimson, Human No Longer, Four Spooky Short Stories Collection, Scraps of Paper, Dinosaur Lake, Dinosaur Lake II: Dinosaurs Arising and the just released Dinosaur Lake III: Infestation.

Kathryn’s Links

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kathryn-Meyer-Griffith/579206748758534  

http://www.authorsden.com/kathrynmeyergriffith

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/889499.Kathryn_Meyer_Griffith

 

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I have 3 eBook copies  of Dinosaur lake III to give away thanks to Kathryn!

This can be read without having read the first two books.

To enter, please leave your email address so I can contact you if you win and answer this question:

“Which dinosaurs scare you the most, the huge ones who can squash you like a bug, or the sneaky little ones who can mass attack and devour you like a piranha?”

Giveaway ends September 21st .

This is a Tag Team Event hosted by myself and Sherry at fundinmental.

Now hop on over to fundinmental, check out Sherry’s review, and enter for another chance to win  HERE.

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~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew and Good Luck!

To see all of my giveaways click on the lucky horseshoe below!

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Welcome to The Friday 56 hosted by Freda’s Voice.

 

This is a really fun meme!

The only rules are to grab a book (any book), turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader and find a sentence or a few (no spoilers) that grabs you and post it.

Then go over to Freda’s Voice and leave your link so we can visit your 56!

My 56 for this week is from

 Brood X

by Michael Phillip Cash

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My 56 is actually from page 5 and 6.

Page 5

There was no way Chet was going outside. Instead he rolled on his squeaky chair 0ver to the door and opened it to survey the chaos. The sounds of screams filled the small security room.

Page 6

The door knob jiggled then turned, and both men swiveled to face the portal, fear written all over their faces. No one ever came to security. Not ever.


~~~~~

Synopsis

Seth is laid off from work. His wife Lara just found out they are expecting a baby this summer. Seth plans on documenting the entire pregnancy with his brand new digital camcorder.

During an evening home watching television, the news reports that a swarm of cicada (Brood Ten) are expected to overwhelm the entire Northeast.

Brood Ten is vicious and ready to invade.

During a sweltering summer night, Brood Ten emerges and wreaks havoc with the electric grid, phone and cell service, wi-fi, food and water supply. Civilization as they know it is gone.

Seth and Lara are thrown back to the stone age in their own home with trillions of cicada trying to deposit their eggs and breed.

Fast paced and filled with tension, Brood Ten is the perfect summer read when you’re sitting outside listening to the cicadas sing.

~~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

Leave your link and I’ll drop by your 56.

Anthony Renfro has a bunch of his stories free right now!

With Halloween and Christmas fast approaching, there’s a little bit of everything for everyone’s holiday reading!

If you click this link (https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/atothewr) you can get all of these short stories free.

 

 

A Zombie Christmas and A Haunted House Tale will eventually go up to a dollar again, but for now you can download them for any E-Book reader that supports EPUB.

He also has these two on Leafless for free.

Haunted House Tale - High Resolution

https://leafless.co/?browse&*=info&id=245

Zombie 2 - High Resolution

https://leafless.co/?browse&*=info&id=203

The cool thing about Leafless is that it allows the audience to choose the price. The two stories above will remain free until the demand pushes them up to a certain price. They are also available in EPUB, MOBI, and PDF files on that site.

Finally, this short story is available for free on Noise Trade. You can also get it in EPUB, MOBI, or PDF there as well.

Man

http://books.noisetrade.com/atothewr/the-man-from-the-road

You can find Anthony on his blog HERE.

Stop by and say thank you!

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Welcome to my Saturday Screams!

I figured I’d give you three scary reviews today and knock a few books off my TBR.

Two of these are horror and one, Fing, is a fun children’s story about a monster in the closet.

Get your scare on!

~~~

The Gatherers

Harvesting #.5

by Ashley Ehlers

20574832

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My Review

I read The Harvesters, the first book in this series, and had an idea what I’d get with this one. Yep, a twisted story that had me looking over my shoulder, wondering who might be creeping up on me.

Coleen isn’t thrilled when her dad gets remarried. Not too crazy about her step-mother. And not too crazy about her step-sister, Virginia either. Or so the parents think. The two girls have grown close, very close. When Coleen is sent outside to find the missing family dog, the nice family getaway in the woods takes a chilling turn.

I enjoy scary stories. The scarier the better. And it doesn’t matter if I figure out the plot a bit early. The fun is what happens along the way.

I thought I had this all figured out, but I didn’t. There’s this twist, see.

Talk about your wicked step-mother tales.

And what’s waiting in the woods. I thought back to the first book, and no way would I go in there.

Another creepy tale that lingers, making you think about the evil that lurks just out of sight.

4 Stars

~~~

Synopsis

Ashley and Jason weren’t the only ones to have an encounter with The Harvesters that day….

Coleen hasn’t been the happiest with her father remarrying, especially to the mother that gave birth to her enemy, Virginia. Bleach blonde bimbo as Coleen thought the moment they started high school. But since they’ve graduated, their parents married for a year now, Coleen has seen a whole new side of Virginia and the girls have gotten closer than ever. However the parents don’t see it, as the girls put up a front, so they plan a getaway to the family’s cabin before the girls go off to college.

Being away from the city is exactly what the girls wanted. Virginia even has something special planned for Coleen on this holiday and being out in the woods is the perfect setting for it. Though things get put on hold when their family dog Trudy runs away and Coleen’s step mother insists she goes out and find her. So as Coleen walks into the woods she gets a chilling sign from her step mother, Tori, which starts a domino effect of bloody unforgettable events.

You can read my review of The Harvesters by clicking on the cover below.

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~~~

Fing

by Papa G.

16137725

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My Review

What a fun little story.

Ulrich gets some really bad news. While his parents were in Africa, they were taken by some cannibals. Missing, and presumed eaten, he now has to live with Mrs. Lipstick, the families mean, chain smoking relative.

She says he’s a nasty, smelly boy and must stay in the cold, dark attic, only allowed out to eat once a day.

Alone and heart broken, Ulrich remembers his mother’s advice. Always stay positive and good things will come.

That’s hard for Ulrich when the strange noises in his closet reveal themselves to be a sock sniffing monster.

Ulrich is such a sweet boy. I forgot to mention he has a special disability. It’s very unusual but he stays positive and learns to adjust.

The nasty Mrs. Lipstick reminds me of Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians. Just a loathsome woman and up to no good.

As for the monster, Fing, he grows on ya.

The moral of this story is maintaining good thoughts, staying positive despite the hard blows. The author had me chuckling at Ulrich’s problem solving and booing at Mrs. Lipstick’s evil doing.

A story to delight young readers with a worthy hero, or two.

4 Stars

~~~

Synopsis

Ulrich Von Strudel has got no knees, but this is the least of his problems. Awful, terrible, despicable things are going to happen to this poor boy. And just when he thinks things couldn’t possibly get any worse. He discovers there’s a monster hiding in his closet. FING is a heart warming modern fairytale about the benefits of staying positive even when faced with the vile Mrs Lipstick!

~~~

The Depot

When Life And Death Cross Tracks

by Carmen DeSousa

22914464

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My Review

A haunted tale of echoes.

Detective Mark Waters doesn’t believe the claim that The Depot is haunted. He’s eaten at the restaurant many times and never witnessed anything unusual.

So when he’s called there to investigate a suicide, it’s just another case. Or so he thinks.

The past meets the present and now Mark knows different.

Not a long story, but it has a lot of ghostly atmosphere.  You go back in time, then forward to the present, as the story is revealed.

Tragedy, betrayal, and a thirst for revenge, this a good one for a dark and stormy night.

3 Stars

~~~

Synopsis

The Depot (When Life and Death Cross Tracks) is a thirteen-thousand-word mini mystery with a ghostly edge by bestselling romantic-suspense author Carmen DeSousa. If you are looking for her full-length novels, please check out her Amazon author page.

They say The Depot is haunted. But in all the years homicide detective Mark Waters has visited the ancient train station turned restaurant, he’s never seen proof. Until now.

As he investigates a supposed suicide by train, he learns secrets of a murder that took place eighty years ago may directly affect his case.

~~~

Until the next time…..

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew.

Welcome to The Friday 56 hosted by Freda’s Voice.

 

This is a really fun meme!

The only rules are to grab a book (any book), turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader and find a sentence or a few (no spoilers) that grabs you and post it.

Then go over to Freda’s Voice and leave your link so we can visit your 56!

My 56 for this week is from

 The Haunting Of Gillespie House

by Darcy Coates

25883916

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My 56

Almost without deciding to, I found myself climbing the stairs to the third floor. It had been dim the last time I’d been up there, thanks to the lack of electric lighting, but now, with the storm blocking out almost all natural light, it was nearly impossible to see.

When I read this scene, I couldn’t help but think, “It was a dark and stormy night…” LOL

Lots of atmosphere!

~~~~~

My Review

I do enjoy a good haunted house story.

Elle needs to get away from things for a bit. She grabs the opportunity to house sit for a month at the Gillespie’s house. It’s more of an estate with the large forests and somewhat neglected mansion.

First things first, Elle explores the house, finding rooms filled with beautiful antiques.  Then she walks the grounds, surrounded by heavy brush and trees, stumbling onto a graveyard filled with crumbling tombstones. Something peculiar catches her eye. All of these people died on the same date.

Not one to pass up a good mystery, Elle explores deeper into the house, looking for some history.

It’s not long before doors start slamming, ghostly footsteps prowl the floors, and scratches from the walls interrupt her sleep.

Someone or something is in the house.

This had all the makings for a creepy haunted tale and the sense of foreboding grew throughout the book.

The run down mansion with it’s dark corners and hidden secrets.

A previous owner that dabbled in the occult.

The strange tombstones in the cemetery.

Haunting noises and terror filled dreams.

Elle was a curious character. At first I couldn’t believe she’d stay in a haunted house. You’ve seen the movies. Don’t go in the basement. Don’t go see what made that noise. Elle did all of those things. I had to keep reminding myself, if she didn’t there wouldn’t be much of  a story.

And I remembered something. As a teenager, I was home alone and heard a loud crash in the basement. I did go down to see what it was. Granted, I was scared to go down those steps. But I was more scared not to. It turned out to be a cat that got in through an open window, jumping on a table and breaking something.

It’s not that simple for Elle.

There’s an Author’s Note after the end where Darcy Coates explains the origins of The Haunting Of Gillespie House. It stared out to be a short story but grew.

She includes the free short story, Crawlspace, that started it all.

If you like tales that give you the heebie jeebies, have you looking over shoulder, and make the hairs stand up on the back of your neck, you’ll enjoy this book.

4 Stars

~~~~~

Synopsis

Elle can’t believe her luck; she’s spending a month house-sitting the beautiful Gillespie property. Hidden near the edge of the woods and an hour’s drive from the nearest town, its dark rooms and rich furniture entice her to explore its secrets. There’s even a graveyard hidden behind the house, filled with tombstones that bear an identical year of death.

If only the scratching in the walls would be quiet…

The house’s dark and deadly history quickly becomes tangled with Elle’s life. At the centre of it is Jonathan Gillespie, the tyrannical cult leader and original owner of the house. As Elle soon learns – just because he’s dead, doesn’t mean he’s gone.

~~~~~

For more about Darcy Coates, her books, and where to find her, head on over to GOODREADS.

~~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

Leave your link and I’ll drop by your 56.

Anthony Renfro is at it again.

He has three of his short horror stories free on Amazon today!

Come on in and check out Need To Feed and Killer Treads, plus his newest release, SHe.

If you ever wanted to read about Vampires who stalk you in the daylight, a monster who attacks only women, or a treadmill that thirsts for blood then today is your day. – Anthony Renfro

Need To Feed

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My Review

Three great things in one story.

It’s a supernatural western setting.

There are vampires that hunt by day.

And werewolves that shift at sunrise.

All of these combined to make one rollicking bloody read.

Saltwater Junction, Northern California.

The night of the full moon.

Tomorrow they come. Like they do once every year.

The sheriff gathers the town folk and they get the town ready for the morning.

The werewolves will attack at dawn.

The vampires soon after.

This year will be different.

This year they will win.

No more men lost to the werewolves.

No more women and children bled out by the vampires.

If…. If the people do what the sheriff says. If they stand and fight. If…

I loved this idea. Instead of the moon and darkness being these monsters strengths, it’s sunrise and daylight.

You’d think it would be easier for the people to fight them, easier to survive.

Not so. The werewolves are numerous, mindless, feeding machines. The vampires are cunning, swift, and organized.

Right from the opening scene when the sheriff had a shootout with the Lizard brothers, I knew I was in for something different.

I’d love to see this as a movie. I almost could as the author did an excellent job describing the scenes and characters. My wish is he’d write more about this town and it’s characters. It ended too soon for me.

5 Stars

***

Description

How terrified would you be if vampires stalked you in daylight or werewolves changed with the sunrise?

The Old West town of Saltwater Junction is about to find out again what that terror is all about.

Get your free copy at the links below.

AMAZON

EBook:

US: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006GWZ24U?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B006GWZ24U?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B006GWZ24U?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

CA: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B006GWZ24U?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

Example from Need to Feed:

 Dawn’s light was on the horizon.

A foul crispness filled the morning air, as the Vampires stood in a dusty patch of Earth, and stared off in the direction of Saltwater Junction.

These creatures stood about seven feet tall on thick muscular tree trunk sized legs. They wore dark pants over these legs and no shoes on their big ugly grey skinned feet. Claws hung off the ends of their toes like talons. Nothing covered their ripped and muscular grey skinned upper body. Their heads were bald, their fangs long and white, and their eyes were red and glowing. They had two pointy bat-like ears standing out on either side of their head, and this gave them superior immortal hearing.

On leashes at their sides, like dogs, were mutated human beings. They were shackled around the neck with big red collars that had metal loops on the end of them. Attached to these loops were leather lines that led up to the Vampire’s right or left hand. These mutated humans were on all fours with wide hypnotized eyes, foaming mouths, and bruised flesh. They were naked, and the punishment they had endured to become what they now were was clearly evident. Whipping scars covered them from head to toe.

~~~~~

SHe

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My Review

It stalks the night in Tampa Bay.

Takes what it needs from women.

The taking kills them.

Just what is this monster?

I can’t tell you that.

I can say that it’s so evil, so deadly, and so bizarre.

Anthony took it to a new level with his newest monster.

When you find out what it takes, what it can do, what it is, you won’t believe it.

And neither will Detective Roberts.

A dash of horror that will shock you. It left me grinning. I loved how twisted and original it was.

4 Stars

***

Description

A short story about a monster who stalks the city of Tampa Bay. This monster is only attacking women, taking only the one thing it needs. Tim Roberts, a detective, is hot on this monster’s trail. Will he catch this monster in time or will this monster feed until it has its fill? Be careful Tim, this monster has a secret yet to be revealed.

Get your free copy at the links below.

AMAZON

EBook

US: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B011VGBT7Y?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B011VGBT7Y?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B011VGBT7Y?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

CA: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B011VGBT7Y?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

~~~~~

Killer Treads

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My Review

Hey, look at that. A tread mill, like new, for only twenty bucks. What a steal.

He’s been meaning to get in shape, get rid of that spare tire around his middle.

He should have slowed down, caught the warning signs that something was seriously wrong with the deal. Not been so impulsive.

Alas, it’s too late now, and the deal is going to cost him much more than cold hard cash.

This story teaches you to never buy something when the deal seems too good to be true.

Kind of fun, kind of gory, and I liked it.

3 Stars

***

Description

(Revised and Updated: 2015)

A short story about a man who sees a flashy ad online advertising a twenty dollar treadmill. He buys the machine, too cheap to be scared, and realizes much to his dismay that this machine has a taste for blood. Big Bob better run like his life depends on it, because in many ways it does.

Get your free copy at the links below.

AMAZON

EBOOK:

US: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00D4BG0VK?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00D4BG0VK?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

AU: http://www.amazon.com.au/gp/product/B00D4BG0VK?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

CA: http://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00D4BG0VK?*Version*=1&*entries*=0

~~~~~

Example from Killer Treads: 

A face appeared on the video monitor. It wasn’t demonic or evil-looking, just a plain computer generated male face was all that it was. It had two eyes, two ears, a nose, mouth, and no hair. It had no body attached to it, just a free-floating head in the middle of the video screen.

The floating head looked at Bob. “Get on, take a spin. I’ll make you thin.”

Bob looked down at the face, as his ratty tee-shirt and sweat pants evaporated. In a flash, they were replaced with a shiny new set of running clothes. Wick away shirt, keeps you cool and dry. Running shorts that fit much like swimming trunks, net in the middle to hold your junk in place. Moisture controlling socks and a perfectly fitting pair of new running shoes. To top it off, a head band decided to rest itself around the top of Bob’s head. He was now suited up and ready to run.

The black belt on the treadmill started to move, rolling gently from top to bottom, inviting him to step up and get started.

“That’s it Bob, come along for the ride, take your stride,” the floating head replied, smiling up at him.

Caution, hello, caution! I don’t know about you guys reading this, but if a machine appeared in your garage, and started talking to you in rhyme, don’t you think you might run for the door or at least not climb on when it asked you to?

~~~~~

Coming Soon.

13 short stories of terror.

13 short stories that will have you reaching for the nightlight.

Nightlight Tales - High Resolution

~~~~~

Thanks for the scares Anthony.

Keep them coming!

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of A Daily Rhythm.

TeaserTuesdays2014e

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page.
•Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

~~~

My Teaser for this week is from

My Life As A White Trash Zombie

White Trash Zombie # 1

by Diana Rowland

9640626

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My Teaser from page 29 in the Paperback.

To my shock and horror my mouth began to water and my stomach gave a loud growl – loud enough for the others to hear. Both of them turned to look at me and Dr. Leblanc gave a laugh. “Okay, you’re officially the toughest morgue tech who’s ever worked here if you can still be hungry during an autopsy.”

I gave a weak laugh in answer as I struggled to hide my confusion. Yeah, that’s all it was. I was just starving.

~~~~

Synopsis

Angel Crawford is a loser.

Living with her alcoholic deadbeat dad in the swamps of southern Louisiana, she’s a high school dropout with a pill habit and a criminal record who’s been fired from more crap jobs than she can count. Now on probation for a felony, it seems that Angel will never pull herself out of the downward spiral her life has taken.

That is, until the day she wakes up in the ER after overdosing on painkillers. Angel remembers being in an horrible car crash, but she doesn’t have a mark on her. To add to the weirdness, she receives an anonymous letter telling her there’s a job waiting for her at the parish morgue—and that it’s an offer she doesn’t dare refuse.

Before she knows it she’s dealing with a huge crush on a certain hunky deputy and a brand new addiction: an overpowering craving for brains. Plus, her morgue is filling up with the victims of a serial killer who decapitates his prey—just when she’s hungriest!

Angel’s going to have to grow up fast if she wants to keep this job and stay in one piece. Because if she doesn’t, she’s dead meat.

Literally.

~~~~

Thanks so much for visiting fuonlyknew!

How about you? Got a tease? Tell me!

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Paradise Rot Banner 851 x 315

Paradise Rot

The Island Trilogy

Book One

by Larry Weiner

25712413

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Genre: Satire/Dark Comedy

Publisher: Booktrope

Date of Publication: May 30, 2015

ISBN: 978-1-5137-0031-1/ASIN: B00YLDWX66

Number of pages: 211

Cover Artist: Larry Weiner

My Review

Welcome to tropical paradise. Welcome to The Isle of St. Agrippina. White sandy beaches. Delicious blended drinks. And island cuisine.

But beware. All is not as it seems. And you just might wind up on the menu.

You see, this long abandoned and now reopened and freshly renovated resort is run by zombies. Not the good ones, if there is such a thing, but the hungry ones. And their brains are working just fine. You’ll see.

Kyle, an advertising exec, should have known it was too good to be true. In fact, he did. Who would hire someone straight from the loony bin? But that didn’t stop him from using the plane ticket and jetting to a tropical paradise.

Right from the get go, things are weird. And they keep getting weirder.

What’s with the slow moving people with their perfect over-white teeth, spray on tans, and practiced pronunciation.

Who is the lady in the woods who likes to conk you over the head and drag you to a bar in the jungle tended buy some weird guy.

And did he really see a chihuahua with it’s butt on wheels, and did it actually speak?

I would have given this book 5 Stars just for the ingenuity. But I also laughed out loud, loved the eccentric mish mash of characters, and couldn’t get enough.

Looking for some fun with zombies. Give this one a try. And the next book, Once More, With Blood, is available now so you won’t have to wait for more fun.

5 Stars

~~~~

~~~~

Book Description:

 

Kyle Brightman—late of the advertising industry and soon-to-be-late of the 5th floor psych ward—has a job offer he can’t refuse. A new resort in the Caribbean is looking for an art director.

Kyle soon finds himself on the Isle of St. Agrippina working alongside a beautiful copywriter with an icy handshake. Questions arise: Why does the resort management team sport spray-on tans in the Bahamas? How can the resort offer such cheap vacation packages? What does one do with vats of Astroglide?

To get the answers, Kyle must first navigate a series of wildly unpredictable events with a cast of even more wildly unpredictable characters, including a seductress jungle assassin, her partially paralyzed talking Chihuahua, an Ivy League Rastafarian seaplane captain, Kyle’s ex-psych ward roommate, a former Haliburton mercenary, and a French tavern owner with a fondness for goats, all set to the greatest hits of the 70’s. Pablo Cruise never felt so right.

Amazon   BN

~~~~

Excerpt: Chapter One

 

“THERE’S A REASON WE PUT PATIENTS IN RESTRAINTS THIS WAY,” Hap the orderly explained. “See before, when it became necessary to administer a four-point restraint on someone, we’d just do the standard two feet to each side of the gurney and two wrists by the waist. Now we have you done up with the POS 2206 restraint which you’d have to pretty much be motherfuckin’ Houdini to get out of, see what I’m sayin’? We got one arm up and one down so you don’t pop your shoulder out of your socket. Does that matter to the average whack job that comes through here all spun out screaming about the end times or how the government implanted tiny computers in their heads? Nuh-uh. They just keep wigglin’ around as if their super human powers are gonna set them free. Forget it, son. Your body belongs to the St. Eligius psych ward, fifth floor, Seattle, Washington, in these United States of America.”

It was true.

Kyle Brightman lay restrained on the gurney looking something like a flamenco dancer striking a pose horizontally. Unlike flamenco dancers and their elaborate sequined outfits, Kyle was in jeans and a faded Clash T-shirt covered in eggs, tapenade, and mace. Also unlike flamenco dancers, Kyle had been tased in a supermarket. But then it had been a weird week in an off kilter year, so in retrospect it seemed fitting to be held down to a gurney in a hospital corridor getting a lesson in the history and technique of human body restraint from Hap, the large African American orderly schooled in human confinement arts.

Kyle fully submitted to the restraints, finding them rather soothing— Temple Grandin was on to something, he thought. He also thought about the starting place on the long road of his downward spiral: from being fired from his advertising gig as an art director, to mowing the grass for a local golf course, and finally to freaking out on a couple of elderly women blocking the aisle in a supermarket because they wouldn’t move their carts a few inches over when he’d asked.

All in three months’ time.

In truth, the brain lock up had been a long time coming. A bitter divorce that had cost him his waterfront condo and his cat, Lester. The passed over promotion at work to a younger junior art director. The diagnosis of Bipolar II. The drinking. The petty shoplifting at the local Rite Aid. It was a perfect storm of anxiety and neurosis crashing down upon an already paranoid and erratic man with authority issues and a tendency toward drama.

But the idea of his mental state as a tornado gathering energy as it swept across his life was nothing new to Kyle or those around him. His moods were a dangerous balancing act of wit, anger, and a general cluelessness that on the best of days came across as mercurial.

He knew this about himself, and though countless therapists had talked him through his childhood, his mother, his school years, and subsequent launch into adulthood, everybody had yet to find a cure. As a creative director with similar tendencies had once put it to Kyle, he’d best learn to be an asshole with serious repenting skills if he was to survive at all, let alone in advertising.

In Kyle’s mind, every time he met a woman, took a job, or made a friend, he imagined a stop watch starting, ticking off the days, hours, minutes, seconds until eventually they would learn the truth about him: that his moods were like forecasting the weather. It was a seemingly mundane twist of fate then that Kyle Brightman would completely lose his shit because two aged, upper crust cronies wouldn’t move their shopping carts over enough for him to pass. If only he had known what they had been discussing (the cost increase in septic pumping/ whose Mexican gardener was better) he might have picked a more symbolic moment to melt down. But then, he had realized as he began cursing at the top of his lungs that he really wasn’t in the driver’s seat. And when he began to throw eggs at them, followed by a jar containing tapenade while knocking over a display rack of various energy bars, it became clear that he was now entering new territory.

Territory that would require restraints.

“When do I get out of the restraints?” Kyle asked Hap.

“That depends on you,” Hap said. “If you cooperate and let us do our job and you do yours you won’t see restraints again. But if you start to go sideways, we put you in the metal room, hose you down and go to work on you with rubber Billy maces.”

“What?”

“I’m fuckin’ with you. You’ll be fine. We’re gonna take you to your room. You’ll meet your roommate and we’ll get you on the road to recovery.”

Kyle hadn’t thought about recovery until it was mentioned. It was a rare instance that he lived in the moment. He was aware, strapped to the gurney, that he was extraordinarily tired.

“What if I don’t recover?” Kyle asked.

“You will,” Hap said. “I been doing this a long time and I can tell the ones who are gonna make it and the ones who fall through the cracks. You’re the first one.”

“What do you tell the ones who you know are gonna fall through the cracks?” Kyle asked.

“Same bullshit I told you,” Hap said.

~~~~

About the Author:

Larry  Weiner

 

Larry Weiner is the author of PARADISE ROT (BOOK ONE), ONCE AGAIN, WITH BLOOD (BOOK TWO) and the forthcoming HINDU SEX ALIENS (BOOK THREE) that make up the Island Trilogy. Larry earned a degree in film from CSULA and was an award-winning art director. He lives on an island in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, two kids and a gaggle of animals. He plays bass and thus has poor hearing.

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